Angelina Following the Heard Model for the Sake of the Children

September 21, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The only people who know what goes on in any family are the husband and wife and their seven or so internationally adopted and conceived children. Plus the truck beds of UN Refugees turned into household staff, nannies,... READ MORE

Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Divorce

September 20, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

It's a miracle it lasted this long. She appears to be completely insane and keeps removing her body parts. He seems like a not so bright pothead. You don't have to get married just because people think it would... READ MORE

By The Sea Looks Scintillating (VIDEO)

November 3, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Writer director Angelina Jolie is surpassed in horror only by oncologist clairvoyant Angelina Jolie. I might have that reversed. I could finally finish my Psych 101 paper requirements watching Angelina pre-cog her breasts and uterus out of her body. I... READ MORE

Shia Labeouf Seems Sort of Crazy

October 7, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Shia Labeouf intentionally cut his face repeatedly and removed a tooth while filming The Fury. Brad Pitt was super enthused about this because he produced the movie and therefore gets enormous royalties so it seemed like solid sensationalized promotional jargon:... READ MORE

Pitt, DiCaprio, DeNiro Team Up For Passion Project

September 5, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert DeNiro will reportedly each make $13 million dollars for two days filming a short movie to promote a new casino in Macau. The Studio City is a movie themed mega casino, which should... READ MORE

Angelina Jolie Wears Her Kids Proudly

September 2, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

A woman who decapitates her boobs because of possible future cancer isn’t the kind of woman that waits around for shit. After just twelve years of making, extricating, and PayPal-ing for babies with Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie decided to... READ MORE

No One Cares That Brangelina Got Married And Shit Around The Web

August 28, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married in secret and no one gave a flying fuck. It’s not like it’s 2002 when you were on the cover of magazines and Angelina had yet to cut off her breasts. What’s... READ MORE

Brad Pitt Was ‘Attacked’ At The Maleficent Premiere (VIDEO)

May 29, 2014 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Serial red carpet asshole Vitalii Sediuk has tried to “prank” some of Hollywood’s biggest stars in the past, having shoved his face in Bradley Cooper‘s and Leonardo DiCaprio‘s crotches at movie premieres to the delight of no one, and... READ MORE

Brad Pitt Throws Like a Girl

May 21, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Nobody gets everything in life. You got the A-list movie career, the hot wife who is only half crazy with self-mutilation and third world adoptions, and the adoration of millions of fans. Men want to be you, women want... READ MORE

12 Years a Slave Has Ended Racism

March 7, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

All the buzz at the vegan juice bars this week is about how 12 Years a Slave won Best Picture at the Oscars, despite at least two Academy voters admitting they didn’t even watch the film. They voted for... READ MORE