George Clooney Picked A Terrible Way To Attempt Suicide

July 13, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

There’s no better way to shit on your legacy than by attempting to off yourself by driving recklessly on a scooter. Sure, George Clooney will deny suicide was on his mind at the time but anyone doing 60 on... READ MORE

The Clooneys Are Beyond Adorable

December 14, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

George Clooney and Amal Clooney considerately passed out headphones to passengers on their flight to London, along with a note pre-apologizing in case their six month old twins cried.

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Matt Damon and George Clooney Tossed Softballs by Strahan

October 24, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Damon and Clooney put on their stoic acting face and arranged an interview with Michael Strahan on Good Morning America. Strahan makes Larry King look like an Inquisition judge by comparison.

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Female George Clooney Cries Four Times A Day

September 21, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

George Clooney has proudly come out as a biological female after proclaiming that he cries four times a day over the pressures of motherhood. What does having a vagina feel like George? The fifty-six-year-old actor and thirty-nine-year-old Amal Clooney mashed fluids... READ MORE

The Hurricane Harvey Telethon Is Here, Wheel Out Barbra Streisand

September 6, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Start with the obligatory, all charity money is good money. It's trite and true and almost prevents you from making fun of Oprah and Barbra Streisand and George Clooney reprising their 9/11: A Tribute to American Heroes and the... READ MORE

Clooney Out for Blood

July 31, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

George Clooney's out for a pound of flesh on photographers that scaled the fence at his Lake Como estate to take photos of Clooney, his wife, and their twin infants. The shots were published on the cover of Voici... READ MORE

Clooney and Cindy Crawford’s Husband Tequila Rich

June 22, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

George Clooney and the only other 50-something guy he could find in Hollywood almost as handsome as himself, former male model Rande Gerber, cashed out on their Casamigos Tequila company to the tune of one billion dollars.

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An Old Man Made Some Babies and the World Is Going Crazy

June 12, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

George Clooney has fucked a hundred women. The last one he let keep the baby and the media and celebrity world has taken on the role of the incredibly doting Wise Men.

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Clooney Having Batched Babies

February 10, 2017 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

While it is indeed troubling that the patriarch of the Duggar family full of child molesters will someday soon have two hundred grand children, let's not negate the fact that women unable to naturally conceive are being pumped full... READ MORE

Clooney Leans In

April 18, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

George Clooney defended raising tens of millions of dollars for Hillary Clinton at weekend fundraisers for really rich people who have their nannies mule untraceable cash down to Panamanian banks. Clooney would’ve made a superior slick defense attorney. He has the confident... READ MORE