The Clooneys Are Beyond Adorable

December 14, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

George Clooney and Amal Clooney considerately passed out headphones to passengers on their flight to London, along with a note pre-apologizing in case their six month old twins cried.

READ MORE

Matt Damon and George Clooney Tossed Softballs by Strahan

October 24, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Damon and Clooney put on their stoic acting face and arranged an interview with Michael Strahan on Good Morning America. Strahan makes Larry King look like an Inquisition judge by comparison.

READ MORE

Female George Clooney Cries Four Times A Day

September 21, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

George Clooney has proudly come out as a biological female after proclaiming that he cries four times a day over the pressures of motherhood. What does having a vagina feel like George? The fifty-six-year-old actor and thirty-nine-year-old Amal Clooney mashed fluids to produce twin babies in June of this year. While my guess is that there are hundreds of illegitimate little George Clooneys running around Thailand, this is the first go around that he’s branded himself as a doting husband and father.

READ MORE

The Hurricane Harvey Telethon Is Here, Wheel Out Barbra Streisand

September 6, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Start with the obligatory, all charity money is good money. It’s trite and true and almost prevents you from making fun of Oprah and Barbra Streisand and George Clooney reprising their 9/11: A Tribute to American Heroes and the 2010 Hope for Haiti telethon roles in support of Hurricane Harvey relief.

READ MORE

Clooney Out for Blood

July 31, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

George Clooney’s out for a pound of flesh on photographers that scaled the fence at his Lake Como estate to take photos of Clooney, his wife, and their twin infants. The shots were published on the cover of Voici magazine in France. Clooney’s demanding the lion’s force of EU criminal prosecution.

READ MORE

Clooney and Cindy Crawford’s Husband Tequila Rich

June 22, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

George Clooney and the only other 50-something guy he could find in Hollywood almost as handsome as himself, former male model Rande Gerber, cashed out on their Casamigos Tequila company to the tune of one billion dollars.

READ MORE

An Old Man Made Some Babies and the World Is Going Crazy

June 12, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

George Clooney has fucked a hundred women. The last one he let keep the baby and the media and celebrity world has taken on the role of the incredibly doting Wise Men.

READ MORE

Clooney Having Batched Babies

February 10, 2017 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

While it is indeed troubling that the patriarch of the Duggar family full of child molesters will someday soon have two hundred grand children, let’s not negate the fact that women unable to naturally conceive are being pumped full of embryos at an alarming rate.

READ MORE

Clooney Leans In

April 18, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

George Clooney defended raising tens of millions of dollars for Hillary Clinton at weekend fundraisers for really rich people who have their nannies mule untraceable cash down to Panamanian banks. Clooney would’ve made a superior slick defense attorney. He has the confident smile of a man who knows he can fuck other men’s wife. Rather than defending the […]

READ MORE

George Clooney’s All-White Films Continue Unabated

February 8, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

George Clooney just produced his fifteenth major motion picture. Guess how many have featured black actors in significant roles? That same zero goes for the half dozen feature films he’s directed. Clooney and Damon and the affable progressive brat pack of wealthy and powerful OscarsSoWhite apologists have been rending garments over how poorly Hollywood promotes […]

READ MORE