Hillary Clinton A Dick To Security

Hillary Clinton really wants to be the next President and so does a vast majority of the national news media. Perhaps that's why they've donated so heavily to her campaign and brushed most of her deplorable behavior and frightening facial expressions to the side. read more

Madonna Offers to Swallow Hillary Voters (VIDEO)

The amount of irony involved in Madonna stepping up to the microphone at an Amy Schumer comedy concert and offering blow jobs to audience members in exchange for voting for Hillary Clinton is difficult to count. But let's start with the first three. read more

Julian Assange Back On Schedule

It's amazing Julian Assange is still alive. You have to thank the crack security staff at the Ecuadorian embassy in London. They certainly got a boost in the security team rankings thanks to Kim Kardashian's rent-a-cop fail. read more

Madonna Voting Naked for Hillary

Hillary Clinton's campaign is pushing two fronts. Female celebrities getting naked to encourage voting and essays by apologetic men in HuffPo and similarly leaning publications about how people who dislike Hillary only do so because she's a woman. read more

Clinton Fainting Female Response Team Activates

The entire point of national politics is to hone an utterly false and misleading public persona and hope it sticks with a largely uninvolved electorate through the election. This feat was easier to accomplish in the days before cable news and later the Internet caused you... read more

Hillary Clinton Faints For You (VIDEO)

Hillary Clinton doesn't look so good. Her partisan faithful are spinning her latest bit of fainting to the ground as the sign of her devotion, but it's unclear who's buying except for her partisan faithful. They also believe she swims, does yoga, and lifts weights as... read more

Sometimes You Eat the Weiner, Sometimes the Weiner Eats You

Former Congressman Anthony Weiner can't stop discussing his dick online. Public humiliations, resignations, embarrassing mea culpas, counseling. It matters not. The dick wants what the dick wants. And the Weiner dick wants to be hard in jockey shorts making double... read more

Clintons Amazing Speakers

The Clintons are some fucking public speakers. Their haul puts Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber to shame on ticket take. read more

Anthony Still Polishing the Weiner

Sydney Leathers, the pudgy political groupie chick who first exposed Congressman Anthony Weiner as an online masturbator of some noteworthy frequency, claims the New Yorker is still courting women online with his bare cock and ironic conversation. read more

Shkreli Diagnoses Hillary

Albanian-American rapper and occasional investor fraud scheme operator Martin Shkreli is good at figuring things out. He figured out how to rape The AIDS patients of their drug cash. He figured out how to taunt the Wu Tang clan toward regret and violence. He hasn't quite... read more

Donald Trump Can't Stop

Just when you think Donald Trump can't go any farther he opens his mouth again. Nothing is shocking at this point. He could punch a baby or call the president a porch monkey and you'd just shrug. read more

DNC Using Craigslist Hired Cheerers (VIDEO)

Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton each received raucous almost Kim Jong Un level reactions to their speeches at the Democratic National Convention, an annoying institution carefully situated between football and basketball season when we really start slumming it for... read more