Clinton Fainting Female Response Team Activates

The entire point of national politics is to hone an utterly false and misleading public persona and hope it sticks with a largely uninvolved electorate through the election. This feat was easier to accomplish in the days before cable news and later the Internet caused you... read more

Hillary Clinton Faints For You (VIDEO)

Hillary Clinton doesn't look so good. Her partisan faithful are spinning her latest bit of fainting to the ground as the sign of her devotion, but it's unclear who's buying except for her partisan faithful. They also believe she swims, does yoga, and lifts weights as... read more

Sometimes You Eat the Weiner, Sometimes the Weiner Eats You

Former Congressman Anthony Weiner can't stop discussing his dick online. Public humiliations, resignations, embarrassing mea culpas, counseling. It matters not. The dick wants what the dick wants. And the Weiner dick wants to be hard in jockey shorts making double... read more

Clintons Amazing Speakers

The Clintons are some fucking public speakers. Their haul puts Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber to shame on ticket take. read more

Anthony Still Polishing the Weiner

Sydney Leathers, the pudgy political groupie chick who first exposed Congressman Anthony Weiner as an online masturbator of some noteworthy frequency, claims the New Yorker is still courting women online with his bare cock and ironic conversation. read more

Shkreli Diagnoses Hillary

Albanian-American rapper and occasional investor fraud scheme operator Martin Shkreli is good at figuring things out. He figured out how to rape The AIDS patients of their drug cash. He figured out how to taunt the Wu Tang clan toward regret and violence. He hasn't quite... read more

Donald Trump Can't Stop

Just when you think Donald Trump can't go any farther he opens his mouth again. Nothing is shocking at this point. He could punch a baby or call the president a porch monkey and you'd just shrug. read more

DNC Using Craigslist Hired Cheerers (VIDEO)

Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton each received raucous almost Kim Jong Un level reactions to their speeches at the Democratic National Convention, an annoying institution carefully situated between football and basketball season when we really start slumming it for... read more

Hillary Clinton Motley Crew

People are excited about a Hillary Clinton presidency they same way they are about a car wash. Let's get this over with. Her ardent supporters are either ill informed or keenly aware that she's a corporate shill whose first order of business will be relaxing some pesky... read more

Cue Roger Clinton

Losers always have a habit of fucking up at the worst possible time. In reality they're just constantly fucking up but sometimes you notice more. Hence Bill Clinton's bastard brother got himself a DUI in LA two days before the California primary. Hillary has most... read more

Lena Dunham Leaving If Hillary Doesn't Take Over

Lena Dunham known for her fierce feminism and the constant smell of wet woodland mammal that follows her like a Pig-Pen dirt cloud is ditching the United State if Donald Trump beats Hillary Clinton in November. Unlike previous celebrities who have said unlike previous... read more

Clooney Leans In

George Clooney defendedraising tens of millions of dollarsfor Hillary Clinton at weekend fundraisers for really rich people who have their nannies mule untraceable cash down to Panamanian banks.Clooney would've made a superior slick defense attorney. He has the confident... read more