Hulk Hogan slathered his hands in baby oil and then rubbed up against his daughters crotch yesterday, but in his defense, she has big implants, and guys love that.
NOW WITH MORE CREEPY UPDATE - Does Brooke Hogan not have arms? Can she not oil her own ass?
(picture source = inf daily)
Hulk Hogans new girlfriend looks almost exactly like his daughter Brooke. Here they are at the airport, making Hitler beam with pride as his vision comes to life.
Damn, it seems like every single good story in the news right now is a pack of filthy lies. Why must my simple evening of TV turn into a date with deception. It starts with People magazine, who says that investigators are wondering about Ingrid Marie Rivera, who last week became Miss Puerto Rico, despite her claims that someone tried to sabotage her night by pepper-spraying her gowns. People says:
Beating 29 rivals, Rivera took home the crown and the chance to vie in the Miss Universe pageant. Throughout the competition, Rivera was composed while appearing before the cameras and panel of judges.
But once off-camera, she was forced to shed her clothes and apply ice bags to her face and body, which twice swelled and broke out in hives.
Investigators wonder how she could be so composed one minute, then an itchy mess the next. As for Hulk Hogan, the St Petersburg Times quotes an attorney who says the pending divorce between Hulk and Linda Hogan may simply be a way to protect their assets in case they are sued after their son Nick was in a car crash that left one man in a coma:
In the divorce, Linda is asking for half of all assets, including Hulks Bel Air mansion and Clearwater Beach home with combined assessed values topping $7.9-million … a divorce could be one step the Hogans could take to try to protect assets … because it could cut Hogan's assets in half.
And finally, Marie Osmond may have faked her famous fainting spell on DWTS:
Sources on the set of "Dancing With the Stars" say that Marie Osmond's fainting spell was scripted — to the point where she had a writer just off camera feeding her lines when she stood up!
Marie has a writer on set at all times, prompting her with witty conversation. One on-set source says he was in position when Marie went down — and didn't miss a beat.
I have no formal dance training, but it goes without saying that gasping for air and falling down are the keys to victory in a dance competition, which is why Marie was so wise to do it. The judges can't help but be wowed by the way she flopped to the ground then laid there motionless. Look at her go!!! She may break the record!!!
There seems to be some confusion about the split between Hulk Hogan and his wife Linda, and apparently no one is more confused than Hulk Hogan and his wife Linda. Early reports by People.com and others said she filed last Wednesday and Hulk was genuinely surprised to hear the news. Now one new report says Linda doesn't really want to divorce ("She keeps saying to him 'Can't we find a way to make this work? She doesn't want to see the family break up.") and another says the split happened long ago and no one should be surprised ("Mr. and Mrs. Hulkster have been on the outs since June, and that the divorce filing was not a surprise to the Hogans or people who know the couple … the couple even filmed part of their reality TV show 'Hogan Knows Best' when they were separated.")
The real question haunting the experts about these two is, would you bang their daughter? Here she is over the weekend at a pool near Miami Beach. I'm not sure what madman convinced a girl this thick to wear horizontal stripes, but I'm assuming he's gay and his mom beat him with a pool cue and now he hates women. In the mom's defense, I now would also like to beat him with a pool cue. Brooke Hogan is to sex what donkeys are to field goal kicking. I'm sure they could both technically do the job, but there has to be some better options out there somewhere.
After 24 years of marriage, Linda Hogan has filed to divorce Hulk Hogan. Awesomely, Hulk didn't know until he was told by a reporter for the St. Petersburg Times Friday night. People says:
He thanked the reporter for the "great information" then called back five minutes later to say, "I'm kind of shocked. You caught me off-guard. My wife has been in California for about three weeks. … Holy smokes. Wow, you just knocked the bottom out of me. … I just pulled over to the side of the road for five minutes to find out what was going on here."
Hulk Hogan screamed at me all through childhood about prayer and taking my vitamins, and pretty much spent more time raising me than my parents, so this is pretty sad. Especially since this stupid article reminds me that Hulk is actually Terry Gene Bollea, age 53. It's pretty disheartening to know your childhood hero is old and has a queer name. It might as well say Snuggle Bunny Bollea, age 1400.
