John Mayer Not Quite Dead

December 6, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

America held its breath with the wide-scale hysterical news announcement that John Mayer was taken to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy.

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Nicki Minaj And John Mayer Go At It On Social Media

September 12, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

When “I have a black friend” won’t work, openly flirt with a black woman on the internet. Then and only then will it be possible to reclaim a spot on the Billboard Hot 100.

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John Mayer Passes on Katy Perry Sex Gold

June 29, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

John Mayer took a pass when asked about Katy Perry’s comment that he was better in the sack than Orlando Bloom and a couple other celebrities Katy Perry has fucked. Or largely a pass.

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John Mayer Lamely Disses Taylor Swift

December 15, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

John Mayer just threw major shade at Taylor Swift! If you were to read that obnoxiously sensational headline you might think he said she had a huge vagina or that she actually has no friends, the latter actually being true.

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John Mayer Sit Down

May 22, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

John Mayer sued his Rolex dealer and lost, solidifying himself as a total fucking rich douchebag who gets a ton of pussy. Mayer reportedly bought $5 million in Rolex watches from his dealer Robert Maron. It’s unclear why he can’t go to the store and buy them but apparently he’s kind of a princess hence […]

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John Mayer Will Be Banging His Next Celebrity in T-Minus 30 Minutes

February 27, 2014 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

E! Online, the purveyor of single-ply entertainment news, has reported that Katy Perry and John Mayer are no longer a couple. Just yesterday they announced that Katy Perry looked like she was wearing an engagement ring from the love of her life, so I’m still having to deal with the heartbreak of their particular brand […]

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John Mayer Might Not Be The World’s Biggest Douchebag After All

July 11, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

John Mayer and Katy Perry are reportedly dating again, and that’s cool for both of them, because she likes being with guys who seem like massive tools and he’s a grown man still singing songs about Taylor Swift. Really, it’s a match made in heaven. But the couple was out shopping in New York last […]

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Katy Perry Is Single Yet Again

March 20, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

For all the shit that people give Taylor Swift about her flavors of the week and corresponding songs, Katy Perry isn’t much better off. We just don’t give her as much hell since she has huge breasts and doesn’t sing mopey pop farts about the guys with tiny peckers that couldn’t please her. That’s not […]

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Katy Perry is grabby

October 17, 2012 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Most girls would just take a guys hand to steady themselves, but Katy Perry went right for John Mayers dick last night as she very cautiously stepped off a curb, as if she thought the street might be made of lava. So maybe she’s a perv, or maybe Mayer just looked very handsome in his […]

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Katy Perry is still with John Mayer, embarrassed about it

October 17, 2012 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Katy Perry and John Mayer were in New York today (his 35th birthday) and, as always, she hid her face and hung her head in shame. He has got to be getting tired of this. If I were dating someone like her, that is to say a skinny millionaire with DD’s, I’d be like, “now […]

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