Friday Morning Headlines

By brendon January 25, 2013 @ 11:53 AM

louis_ck_pervert

LOUIS CK – has been witnessed peeping into windows and watching underage girls getting undressed, according to flyers posted in Huntington Beach. He’s not mentioned by name, so it may be a hoax or someone just used a picture that looked close enough, or maybe he really is doing it because how else are you supposed to watch underage girls take their clothes off? Most of them are so stuck-up they make a big deal out of everything. (huff post)

ASHTON KUTCHER – plays Ashton Kutcher in a parking garage in this first clip from the movie about Steve Jobs. It is not good. If I were the producer, I’d see if it was too late to dig Jobs up and work him around like a marionette. (mtv)

JJ ABRAMS – will direct ‘Star Wars: Episode VII’, the first Star Wars movie since Disney bought the rights for the franchise from George Lucas in October. So the first Star Wars movie with a chance of being good since ‘Empire Strikes Back’ in 1980. I just hope he doesn’t set the whole thing in space again. I mean we’ve already seen that like a million times. (la times)

KANYE WEST – went to the Martin Margiela show last night as part of Paris Fashion Week, but he should wear this outfit back in New York too. It’s a black guy with a ski mask cut by hand and pulling his coat closed as if he’s hiding something. What could possibly go wrong? (image source = fame/flynet)

Louis CK didn’t mean to defend Daniel Tosh

By brendon July 17, 2012 @ 3:57 PM


Rape is obviously terrible and awful and wrong (except in self defense), so Daniel Tosh got into a lot of internet trouble last week when he made some rape jokes at a comedy club. One girl in the audience was surprised to hear jokes while at a comedy club, and went online to cry about it. But then the great Louis CK came to his defense, and after that people started to calm down.

Except, as he explained on the Daily Show last night, Louis CK wasn’t trying to come to anyones defense because he was on vacation in Vermont and hadn’t gone online or heard any news and had no idea Daniel Tosh was in any sort of controversy.

He should have though because Louis CK has a terrific rape joke (video here):

“I’m not condoning rape obviously, you should never rape anyone. Unless you have a reason, like if you want to fuck somebody and they won’t let you. In which case, what other option do you have?”

But other than that rape isn’t funny. Lots of editorials have made it clear that it’s a very serious matter and not to be taken lightly. It takes planning and preparation to do it right. Or am I missing the point?

Louis CKs new special is just 5 dollars

By brendon December 13, 2011 @ 11:01 AM

bar_refaeli_2012_passionata_calendar

I’m a big fan of stealing shit off the internet, because I’m poor financially but rich in a sense of entitlement, but Louis CK is selling his latest special, ‘Live at the Beacon Theater’, on his website for just 5 dollars. And it’s a real special, filmed 4 weeks ago in New York, with all new material, and it looks like any other special you’d see on HBO or whatever. Here’s a clip.

So why steal that when you can download an HD copy for 5 dollars. After all, Louis CK has been nothing but nice to you. He’s the one who sent flowers to your mom when you forgot her birthday. And remember a few years ago when a guy fell on the subway tracks and a total stranger risked his life to save him? That was Louis.

And now, unrelated pictures of Bar Refaeli in the 2012 Passionata calendar.

Louis C.K. asked Donald Rumsfeld if he’s a lizard

By brendon February 25, 2011 @ 5:17 PM

Louis C.K. was on Opie and Anthony yesterday when former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld called in for an interview, presumably because of some kind of clerical oversight on the part of Rumsfelds staff.

Things started off routinely enough, and then at around the 2:30 mark, Louis says…

“There’s still those people out there that think, you know, Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney are actually lizards, who, I mean literally, there are people who think they are lizards from outer space who eat human flesh.
I don’t know if anybody has ever asked you directly, sir, but are you a lizard? Are you actually, can you just please give that a straight answer, are you a lizard person?”

Rumsfeld never does actually deny being a lizard from outer space, even though Louis spends the next 14 minutes asking him about it. Then the call ends and Louis and Opie and Anthony talk about why Rumsfeld wouldn’t deny it, while Rumsfeld himself ate a mouse, conjured up live video of Louis through a crystal ball and yelled “Sieze Him!” to his guards.

tuesday morning headlines

By brendon June 29, 2010 @ 1:18 PM

Elisabetta Canalis

JOE ROGAN – is the best analyst in any sport IMO, but he’s still a huge Fedor Emelianenko fan (more) despite the fact that Fedor hasn’t fought anyone of note since Nogueira 6 years ago. Saturday night Fedor lost a fight in the first round, and today Rogan will talk about this for the first time on his weekly podcast at 3pm pct. I’ve always said Fedor was overrated and wouldn’t be top 5 in the UFC, so does this mean I know more about MMA than Joe Rogan? Yes, yes it does. I’m clearly an unparalleled genius. (twitter)

LINDSAY LOHAN – is a Hollywood outcast. Last week I mentioned that she would send tweets to Katy Perry who always ignored them. The Star says she does the same thing with Gaga, Justin Bieber and Slash. The Star also says I have Americas Hottest Buns, so they seem to know what they’re talking about. (daily star)

LOUIS CK – talked to New York magazine to promote his new show, which premiers tonight on F/X. But skip it if you’re one of those who don’t think he’s funny. Skip it and then go slam your hand in a car door as punishment for your terrible terrible taste. (ny mag)

GEORGE CLOONEYS – girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis took out a little boat near Clooneys house on Lake Como in Italy. “Wow this dummy has a lot to learn about water safety,” said a guy who totally missed the point. (inf)