Pete Carroll Nearly Repentent (VIDEO)

It's important to realize Pete Carroll would be lying in a shallow grave right now if the U.S. were any of the seventeen assorted South American dictatorships. After staying insidefor four days and wondering why he just ordered the salmon pizza for delivery, why he put his hand on his buddy's wife's knee that one time,and why the fuck he called a passing play down the middle on the two inch line, he decided toshow his...read more

Matt Lauer Needs His Fucking Helo

As part of his new Today extension, NBC has agreed to pay for Matt Lauer tohelicopter back and forth to his house in the Hamptons. It's unclear how often this is happening, but many feel it's like hitting a meth pipe. Even once is too many. Lauer downplays his chic lifestyle, claiming the Hamptons are not the bourgeois scene many think. Rather, just an idyllic old school Norman Rockewell scenario that cost $10,000...read more

Carmen Electra Wears Baywatch Swimsuit For The Today Show

Carmen Electra is known for being the hot lifeguard replacement to Pam Anderson on Baywatch and for having sex with Dave Navarro, Dennis Rodman, and Tommy Lee. She chose wisely to dress up as the former for Halloween this year. The Today Show will not put you on camera if your costume consists of being drunk with a ripped dress and rocker jizz on your cheek. I have no comment on Matt Lauer. I'm pretending I didn't see...read more

Paula Deen Told The Today Show That She's Sorry (VIDEO)

Paula Deen appeared on The Today Show this morning to talk about the fallout of her reported use of the N-word, and how it has affected her personally. She told Matt Lauer that she has been exhausted since everyone found out that she admitted to using racial slurs, according to the deposition she gave for the lawsuit a former employee filed against her on the grounds of racism. Paula told Matt that she believes...read more

Man Stabs Himself at the Today Show

Apparently, the man had no real gripes or complaints or history of mental illness. He just could not fucking stand banal chatter between heavily made-up NBC anchors on the portico of Rockefeller Center. Just kidding. He was pissed at the IRS and the government for ruining his life. Just like the rest of the loons who are somewhat partially right. Cops wrestled him to the ground before he could become a ghost and haunt...read more

Rosie O'Donnell actually said something smart

Rosie O'Donnell finally found a way to make her opinions seem well thought out and reasonable; by going on the Today show with the peerlessly stupid Star Jones and Donny Deutsch and discussing Lindsay Lohan. When Matt Lauer asked about Lindsay (finally) being cast to play Elizabeth Taylor, O'Donnell said: "I feel very sorry for her. I think she needs a lot of help. She needs a lot of time away." "I don't think she's...read more

Lindsay Lohan went on the Today show, lied her ass off

The Today show had a preview of the Lindsay Lohan interview that will air tomorrow, and in keeping with the tradition of Lohan women, Lindsay will apparently just tell a bunch of lies the whole time. For example, when Matt Lauer asked if she can go to parties or clubs now without the temptation to drink or get high, she said: "I don't. I mean, I probably could, but that's not my thing anymore. I went out actually a...read more

Ryan Seacrest might be the new Today show host

For the first time in 15 years, NBC needs to find a new male anchor for 'Today', since the always likeable Matt Lauer will step down when his contract ends at the end of next year. Among NBCs top choices to replace him is Ryan Seacrest, who, according to this mornings Hollywood Reporter, had an informal meeting with the network this week to talk about it. The move is already controversial however because Lauer was a...read more

Thursday headlines, with romance and danger!

LINDSAY LOHANS PUBLICIST- is upset that someone sold a picture of an open wine bottle at Lindsays house because he would have paid more for it and her current drinking, "never would have been an issue." Because if I can't see the problem, there is no problem. That's what I tell girls when they claim I got them pregnant too. (e!) EMMA STONE AND ANDREW GARFIELD - are now dating. I bet she made him lasagna. (ny post) ...read more

Matt Lauer wants to know if the size of the package is important

Matt Lauer may be a respected journalist and well liked host of the Today Show, but he's a guy first, so this morning when he was talking to an attractive lady about grocery shopping, and he asked, "So the size of the package is very important?", and then she adamantly agrees that yes, the size of the package IS important, VERY important, he started to giggle. Because it's funny. Hehehe. "Package". And it didn't...read more

Dina Lohan is a liar. Also a complete c*nt.

Dina Lohan lies from start to finish every single day, and this morning on the Today show was no exception. The most insulting part was in the 22 second clip above, when she said Lindsay had only been in a drug rehab twice, and then smirked condescendingly at Matt Lauer because he thought she had been there 4 times. He was under that impression because 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 equals 4. 1. On January 17th, 2007 she checked into...read more

matt lauer had sex with a tranny. perhaps.

I really hope Matt Lauer didn't have sex with a post-op tranny because if he did he's just begging for this Halloween ‘Paris Hilton' picture to be on 8 billion websites. This whole thing began last week when it was reported by a "scurrilous" web site (that takes some nerve) that Lauer had sex with a woman named Alexis Houston. Now the New York Post says Alexis used to be a man. According to one source who has known...read more