Vanessa Minnillo put on a bikini and went for a bike ride on Maui today, along with her husband Nick Lachey, who went shirtless to show off his sunken chest and intimidating barbed wire tat. Gulp. Look Mr. Lachey, I don’t want any trouble okay, please, just leave me and my friends alone.
(image source = bauer griffin)
At around the exact same time that the story broke about Kim Kardashian filing for divorce from Kris Humphries, Kelly Ripa and Nick Lachey were on TV dressed up as Kim and Kris at their wedding. Hopefully the crowd turned on them and yelled “too soon!”, “boooo”, “you suck!” What an unexpected twist that would have been! I would have thrown a rock at Lacheys stupid face too. And when someone asked, “mad about the divorce, huh?”, I’d say, “The what?”
(image source = splash)
BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD - will return to MTV later this year, and now there’s a 5 minute preview of the new season. In related news, Pauly Shore will box a kangaroo this weekend at the Des Moines Chevrolet “Dealin Days”. (hollywood reporter)
STEVEN SPIELBERG - made his first ever appearance at Comic Con today, and used it to announce that the movie no one has been waiting for, ‘Jurassic Park 4′, will be out in a year or two. “Here’s some shit about a group of people who get trapped and chased and occasionally eaten by dinosaurs for the fourth time because I want more money,” I assume he said. (usa today)
KATY PERRY - has dyed her hair blond. Because what’s more edgy and outrageous than a girl in LA with big tits and dyed blond hair. (e!)
DEXTER - has a trailer previewing season 6, and it looks to be as great as ever, with the kid at the hardware store still not wondering why he needs so much plastic drop clothes and cling wrap. (youtube)
LEONARDO DICAPRIO AND BLAKE LIVELY - are apparently not broken up as was previously reported, and were actually together in Santa Barbara on Wednesday. So you might as well deal with it and have sex with me, Bar Refaeli. (us)
VANESSA MINNILLO AND NICK LACHEY - are on their honeymoon in St. Barts today, and it’s not entirely clear but these might be some shots of Nick forcing Vanessa to throw rocks at some black kids on a raft. So be sure to let everyone know that Nick Lachey hates black people. I mean, what are you fucking blind, look at the pictures! (fame)
JESSICA SIMPSON - says that, despite reports to the contrary, she’s “extremely, extremely happy” about Nick Lacheys engagement to Vanessa Minnillo. When asked for a comment, Jessica said, “I assume there will be cake at the wedding, is that correct?” When asked for a more specific comment, she said, “The cake goes in my tummy.” (us.com)
TRAVIS PASTRANA - who has 16 XGames gold medals, 2 motocross championships and the last 4 rally car championships, is moving to NASCAR in 2011 to drive for the newly formed Pastrana-Waltrip Racing team. Sounds to me like he only got the gig because of nepotism. (twitter)
VETERANS DAY - is today, and while many know about heroes like Salvatore Giunta (who will receive the Medal of Honor 5 days from today, the first living recipient since Vietnam) or Marine sniper Carlos Hathcock (ever hear the story about a sniper who shot another sniper through his own scope? That was Carlos), here’s 8 other animals who should be as famous. What they lack in notoriety, they make up for in video-game like killing power. (uproxx)
ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO - was of course the hottest one at last nights Victorias Secret fashion show, because she’s the single most perfect looking girl on earth ever. I would fuck this girls shoe.
Vanessa Minnillo, who is still ungoddambelievable looking, and jackoff idiot Nick Lachey share the same birthday (November 9th) and so to celebrate they’re down in Mexico this week.
This is the kind of thing I would do if she was my girlfriend, and if I was allowed in Mexican resorts. Last time I got kicked out because of what they called “racist dances”. Hey, look buddy, it takes two to be racist. If my dancing hit to close to home, whose fault is that? Not mine.
(source = splash news online)
It seems unlikely that anyone asked without stifling a smile, but according to today’s Sun, Nick Lachey has thought about the offer that doesn’t exist and ruled out a reunion with Jessica Simpson. He confronted the rumor no one is spreading and spoke into his hair brush in front of the mirror:
“I think it’s fun storytelling, but there’s very little truth to any of it. I certainly have heard about her break-up and I wish her the best, as I’ve always done. Aside from that, there really is nothing to say … I haven’t talked to her in probably two years. I wish her happiness. That’s where it pretty much ends.”
Oh what the fuck ever dude. 2001 was a long time ago. This jackass would be lucky to date Chris Crocker at this point. Nicks agent probably has to fight it out to get him jobs over the Chocolate Rain guy and that chicken who plays tic-tac-toe.
Keep in mind how hot Jess was when they were together. This is like a raccoon saying he likes the dumpster he’s in now, and he has no plans for going back to the sushi place where they just leave stuff on ice out back.
(22 more pics here. hq jump here)
