By Jack January 21, 2014 @ 2:53 PM
Hollywood crypt keeper Joan Rivers aimed her millennia old venom at Kim and Kanye’s demon spawn North West. It all went down on an episode of Rivers’ horrifically terrible Fashion Police show. The subject of the Kardashian/West womb weasel came up and the ever controversial Rivers commented on North’s unibrow. She said,
“That baby is ugly … I’ve never seen a 6-month-old so desperately in need of a waxing”
Normally I would agree that it is fucked up to make fun of an infant. But that demon spawn looks like fucking Bert from Sesame Street. Not that Kim should wax that shit. She’s a little child and they just have to deal with the fact that she looks like one of those baby Ewoks from Return of the Jedi. When Kim was previously accused of waxing North’s eyebrows Kim tweeted back,
“Do people really think I would wax my daughters eyebrows so young? Come on, I’d wait until she’s at least 2 1/2!”
Haha, Kim’s paid social media writer made a funny. But seriously, laser a break in that brow, you shape-shifting succubus..
By Lex January 01, 2014 @ 12:28 PM
Kardashian hustler training begins early for the girls. The feel of precious stones in the palm of the hand during the infant years, the ability to determine the true pre-tax income of a suitor from just the taste of his bodily fluids, and, naturally, vomiting to keep trim. By the time she’s not allowed to go to kindergarten, North will be able to tell the cut, clarity, carart, and color of this stone with just a simple sniff. Convincing a drunk Kanye that her vagina was actually her ass was just step one for Kim Kardashian’s diabolical progeny plan. Now the real training begins. The whore grows strong in this one.
Photo credit: Kim Kardashian/Instagram
By Lex November 25, 2013 @ 2:13 PM
Somebody from the PR team told Kim and Kanye that before this bastard baby gets old enough to drop out of middle school, they need to get some photos taken pretending to be normal parents. As in, get on your $150 t-shirts and walk that baby around in a hermetically sealed bassinet. The move itself shocked the encircling team of nannies, handlers, and bodyguards who nervously shuffled around like Secret Service agents when the President decided to get out of his limo to go shake hands with the common folk. The entire parenting episode lasted about two minutes, or 10,000 pictures, at which point Kim and Kanye both shuddered and said ‘eww’ and deposited the baby back into the vault that can only be unlocked by cash offers of greater than $250,000.
Photo Credit: INFphoto, PCN, FameFlynet
By Lex October 11, 2013 @ 2:26 PM
Kim Kardashian’s planned disguise of looking just like Kim Kardashian in Kim Kardashian’s G-Class Benz failed as she attempted one of her first rides out with her bastard baby. Kim recently returned from Paris, finding being away from the ladies who give her reports about her baby to be very emotionally challenging. So, it’s bonding time. Which in the Kardashian family means take your baby to a paid photoshoot. Paparazzi were not thrown off incognito Kim’s tracks, even when she tried to pass as a commoner by hoisting her $10K designer handbag in front of her face. Sometimes Kim is such a silly skank.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Jack October 01, 2013 @ 2:35 PM
The infant Yessiah, North West, received a fortune in baby clothes gifts at Paris fashion week even though she was left back in Los Angeles to to the care of her talking orangutan guardians while her parents party in the City of Light. North’s slutbag mother has been trolling around fashion week trying to gain attention for some product she was hawking, most notably her new even bigger mom tits. The most famous baby in the world that no one has ever seen live got quite a haul from real fashion designers. Kim decided to Instagram pictures of the designer baby threads before she took them to a back alley in the Latin Quarter to trade for some off-brand diet pills.
(Picture Via Instagram/Kimkardashian)
By Lex August 23, 2013 @ 12:52 PM
Let’s see. What great celebrity guests has Kris Jenner booked on her daytime talk show this week. Khloe Kardashian, Scott Disick, Kyle Jenner, Kendall Jenner, and, today, going outside the bloodline for Kanye West, who brought along the big reveal, a picture of his bastard baby with Kim Kardashian, North West. The first photo reveal of the baby, being used to try and save Kris Jenner’s show. Kris has been criticized since launching her day time talk show directed at both key day time demos of fat and unemployed, that she spends too much time talking about and sharing about her famous whoring family. But, what’s she going to do to get ratings in this final week before Fox decides whether to pick up her struggling show for the Fall? Whore out the baby. Kris Jenner would carve that child up on her show if she thought it would help her earn an extra week’s paycheck. Anyone who didn’t see this coming obviously doesn’t follow the Kardashians or have any knowledge of how Satan walks this earth.