afternoon headlines

STEVE JOBS - has fought a rare form of pancreatic cancer for 7 years, but now reportedly has just 6 weeks to live. It's not that there isn't a cure for pancreatic cancer, it's just that it's on youtube and he can't open the file. (the enquirer) ASHLEY SIMPSON - filed for divorce from Pete Wentz just last week, but she's been out partying for months, and it got to the point where he felt he couldn't trust her. Which...

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Ashlee Simpson has filed for divorce

One time Pete Wentz gave Ashlee Simpson a 2 foot tall bee made of legos for an anniversary present. Another time he was partying with strippers in Vegas while she was home in L.A. posting pictures of their baby on twitter. Another time she went to the L.A. County Superior Courthouse and filed for divorce (note: that third one was today, just now). Simpson cites "irreconcilable differences" as the reason for the...

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Ashlee Simpson is a drunken menace

Ashlee Simpson was at the US Open this weekend, and you're gonna find this impossible to believe, but she was an annoying pain in the ass, especially at one point when they played a 'Fall Out Boy' song between sets. Her husband Pete Wentz had an appropriate response to hearing 'Fall Out Boy', which is shame/boredom, but Ashlee started... whatever the hell you would call this. The lone bright spot was that she looked...

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pete wentz really is a jackass

Up until last night, if you wanted to wear a t-shirt and slim jeans and canvas high tops, you had to make them yourself, because no one on earth had ever thought of that. It took about a month and cost several thousand dollars. But then Pete Wentz premiered his line for Clandestine Industries by Pete Wentz. My friends, this changes everything. As you can see, his idea were so nonconformist and revolutionary, they must...

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pete wentz is unemployed

In news that will surprise the people who knew this band was still together, Pete Wentz announced on his blog yesterday that he was no longer a member of Fall Out Boy. (I) cant predict that id ever play in fall out boy again. not due to personal relationships as much as a band we grew apart ... there is the possibility that fob will play again with out me or i will be a part of it when everyone is on the same page. it...

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go kill yourself

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz pulled off one of the greatest practical jokes of all time today in NYC, when they ditched the paparazzi by going into a store that sells masks. A few minutes later an old gypsy and a scary monkey in a hat came out, but there was no sign of Ashlee and Pete. "Where did they go", the paparazzi presumably asked one another as the hours slowly passed. Well guess what? Let's just say that...

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hahaha, you suck ashlee

Yesterday Ashlee Simpson was beaming with pride as she posted a new picture with her baby on Twitter. Ashlees husband Pete Wentz wasn’t in the picture with them, because the night before his band had a concert at the Palms in Vegas and then he got drunk with dozens of strippers. "Everybody was going absolutely crazy," an eyewitness tells Star. "People were even drunkenly playing makeshift Slip 'n' Slide with a mat and...

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OF COURSE THEY GAVE IT A DUMB NAME

Ashlee Simpson welcomed her first child last night, a son, with husband Pete wentz, and was there any doubt these retards were given give the kid an awful embarrassing name? People says...Bronx Mowgli Wentz weighed 7 lbs., 11 oz., and was 20 1/2 inches long."Ashlee, Pete and baby Bronx are all healthy and happy, and thank everyone for their well wishes!" a spokesperson tells PEOPLE.That’s right. "Bronx Mowgli". As in...

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PETE WENTZ IS GAY

I’ve seen that picture of Pete Wentz on the cover of Out magazine, but there’s literally nothing on earth I have less interest in than Pete Wentz on the cover of Out magazine, so I never bothered to read anything from it. But it turns out it was sort of noteworthy because he apparently confesses to kissing guys on several different occasions. AOL says…In an interview with Out magazine, the Fall Out Boy bassist admitted...

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PETE WENTZ IS AN IDIOT

You may find this hard to believe, because it's stupid, but the reason you’re looking at a giant bumblebee made out of legos is because that's what Pete Wentz gave Ashlee Simpson for a wedding present. No really. Splash News Online says…Pete commissioned artist Nathan Sawaya to make the "Lego Bee" which measures 26ins by 47ins by 36ins and is made from about 18,000 standard Lego bricks. New York based Nathan said: "I...

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ASHLEE IS OFFICIALLY PREGNANT, BORING

The fact that Ashlee Simpson is pregnant has been the worlds worst keep secret for at least a month. The story brokearound April 14th, and after 6 weeks of cutsey little denials, she and her husband Pete Wentz finally officially confirmed the news on Pete’s blog last night. OK! says…"While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our...

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WOCKA WOCKA WOCKA!!!

Pete Wentz and his sexy new wife Ashlee Simpson left the house yesterday and walked around like this. With Pete wearing a paper plate over his face. Get it? Because I don’t. Suffice to say, it wasn’t funny. It barely even qualifies as stupid. It’s just confusing. But I’m willing to bet these idiots chuckled and snorted for a good 20 minutes before they stepped outside. "Are you really going to do it I can’t believe...

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MRS. ASHLEE WENTZ

I’m sure you don’t care, because why on earth would you, but Ashlee Simpson did indeed get married to Pete Wentz Saturday at a ceremony held at her parents house. OK! says...Around noon on Saturday, the groom arrived via limo at the Encinco, Calif., home of Ashlee's dad Joe Simpson, who also officiated over the non-denominational ceremony under white tents.Big sis Jess, who arrived with on-off beau Tony Romo before...

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ASHLEE GETS MARRIED TOMORROW

Ashlee Simpsons’ moms house in Encino, California is getting made over today to prep for Ashlee's wedding to Pete Wentz tomorrow. Many seem to think the wedding is coming together so quickly because Ashlee is pregnant and her dad doesn’t want her to start showing while she’s single. She hasn’t confirmed it yet, but everyone knows Ashlee is in fact pregnant. Which reminds me, what are the odds this kid will be able to...

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ASHLEE IS GETTING MARRIED SATURDAY

Bored indifference is sweeping the nation this morning on the heels of Us magazines exclusive claim that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz will get married in 5 days, this Saturday, May 17th, at a secret location. Us says... "Proper invites have not been sent out but instead guests have been given a save the date notice," the source told Us. The rehearsal dinner – described by the source as "an intimate affair" for "family...

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