afternoon headlines

By brendon February 18, 2011 @ 6:33 PM

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STEVE JOBS – has fought a rare form of pancreatic cancer for 7 years, but now reportedly has just 6 weeks to live. It’s not that there isn’t a cure for pancreatic cancer, it’s just that it’s on youtube and he can’t open the file. (the enquirer)

ASHLEY SIMPSON – filed for divorce from Pete Wentz just last week, but she’s been out partying for months, and it got to the point where he felt he couldn’t trust her. Which seems reasonable. Because she’s dumb, and has probably been on the losing end of a roofie more than once. (us)

CHRISSY TEIGEN – and the rest of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit models are in Vegas to promote the swimsuit issue, which I bet you never even heard of until this very moment. This Vegas trip really saved the day. (fame)

Ashlee Simpson has filed for divorce

By brendon February 09, 2011 @ 1:36 PM

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz Leaving The Andy Lecompte Salon In West Hol

One time Pete Wentz gave Ashlee Simpson a 2 foot tall bee made of legos for an anniversary present. Another time he was partying with strippers in Vegas while she was home in L.A. posting pictures of their baby on twitter. Another time she went to the L.A. County Superior Courthouse and filed for divorce (note: that third one was today, just now).

Simpson cites “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for the divorce.
She’s asking for joint legal custody and primary physical custody of two-year-old Bronx.
Simpson is also asking for spousal and child support.
…there is no prenup.

One time I saw him in Silver Lake wearing a scarf and some weird hat and holding an umbrella. In other words he dresses like Mary Poppins, and his womanly physique makes me wonder how he even picks up his car keys. This guy is a real jackass.

Ashlee Simpson is a drunken menace

By brendon September 07, 2010 @ 4:12 PM

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Ashlee Simpson was at the US Open this weekend, and you’re gonna find this impossible to believe, but she was an annoying pain in the ass, especially at one point when they played a ‘Fall Out Boy’ song between sets.

Her husband Pete Wentz had an appropriate response to hearing ‘Fall Out Boy’, which is shame/boredom, but Ashlee started… whatever the hell you would call this.

The lone bright spot was that she looked somewhat hot, at least for her, and at least compared to Jessica. When asked for a comment, Ashlee said, “I was just having fun.” And Jessica said, “Bring me Solo and the Wookie. They will pay for this outrage.”

“Huh-huh-huh,” she added after that.

pete wentz really is a jackass

By brendon February 17, 2010 @ 3:02 PM

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Up until last night, if you wanted to wear a t-shirt and slim jeans and canvas high tops, you had to make them yourself, because no one on earth had ever thought of that. It took about a month and cost several thousand dollars. But then Pete Wentz premiered his line for Clandestine Industries by Pete Wentz. My friends, this changes everything.

As you can see, his idea were so nonconformist and revolutionary, they must have thought he was crazy. Leggings? A warm-up jacket, with jeans?!? If he would have had a chain that goes on your belt and holds your keys, I think I would have died, overcome by fear that I somehow transported 500 years into the future.

UPDATE – ohhh my heart!

pete wentz is unemployed

By brendon February 03, 2010 @ 5:06 PM

Pete Wentz, Ashlee Simpson

In news that will surprise the people who knew this band was still together, Pete Wentz announced on his blog yesterday that he was no longer a member of Fall Out Boy.

(I) cant predict that id ever play in fall out boy again. not due to personal relationships as much as a band we grew apart … there is the possibility that fob will play again with out me or i will be a part of it when everyone is on the same page. it is no ones fault and there is no animosity about the decision.

He’s downplaying it but it won’t be easy for the band to replace him. They’ll have to go down to the guitar store and wait until it opens. Then when someone buys a bass, they’ll have to ask if he wants to be in a band.

go kill yourself

By brendon January 05, 2010 @ 6:36 PM

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Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz pulled off one of the greatest practical jokes of all time today in NYC, when they ditched the paparazzi by going into a store that sells masks. A few minutes later an old gypsy and a scary monkey in a hat came out, but there was no sign of Ashlee and Pete. “Where did they go”, the paparazzi presumably asked one another as the hours slowly passed.

Well guess what? Let’s just say that monkey was probably wearing a hat to hold in all of his secrets.

(source = inf daily)