afternoon headlines

STEVE JOBS - has fought a rare form of pancreatic cancer for 7 years, but now reportedly has just 6 weeks to live. It's not that there isn't a cure for pancreatic cancer, it's just that it's on youtube and he can't open the file. (the enquirer) ASHLEY SIMPSON - filed... read more

Ashlee Simpson has filed for divorce

One time Pete Wentz gave Ashlee Simpson a 2 foot tall bee made of legos for an anniversary present. Another time he was partying with strippers in Vegas while she was home in L.A. posting pictures of their baby on twitter. Another time she went to the L.A. County... read more

Ashlee Simpson is a drunken menace

Ashlee Simpson was at the US Open this weekend, and you're gonna find this impossible to believe, but she was an annoying pain in the ass, especially at one point when they played a 'Fall Out Boy' song between sets. Her husband Pete Wentz had an appropriate response to... read more

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pete wentz really is a jackass

Up until last night, if you wanted to wear a t-shirt and slim jeans and canvas high tops, you had to make them yourself, because no one on earth had ever thought of that. It took about a month and cost several thousand dollars. But then Pete Wentz premiered his line for... read more

pete wentz is unemployed

In news that will surprise the people who knew this band was still together, Pete Wentz announced on his blog yesterday that he was no longer a member of Fall Out Boy. (I) cant predict that id ever play in fall out boy again. not due to personal relationships as much as... read more

go kill yourself

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz pulled off one of the greatest practical jokes of all time today in NYC, when they ditched the paparazzi by going into a store that sells masks. A few minutes later an old gypsy and a scary monkey in a hat came out, but there was no sign of... read more

hahaha, you suck ashlee

Yesterday Ashlee Simpson was beaming with pride as she posted a new picture with her baby on Twitter. Ashlees husband Pete Wentz wasn’t in the picture with them, because the night before his band had a concert at the Palms in Vegas and then he got drunk with dozens of... read more

OF COURSE THEY GAVE IT A DUMB NAME

Ashlee Simpson welcomed her first child last night, a son, with husband Pete wentz, and was there any doubt these retards were given give the kid an awful embarrassing name? People says...Bronx Mowgli Wentz weighed 7 lbs., 11 oz., and was 20 1/2 inches long."Ashlee, Pete... read more

PETE WENTZ IS GAY

I’ve seen that picture of Pete Wentz on the cover of Out magazine, but there’s literally nothing on earth I have less interest in than Pete Wentz on the cover of Out magazine, so I never bothered to read anything from it. But it turns out it was sort of noteworthy because... read more

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PETE WENTZ IS AN IDIOT

You may find this hard to believe, because it's stupid, but the reason you’re looking at a giant bumblebee made out of legos is because that's what Pete Wentz gave Ashlee Simpson for a wedding present. No really. Splash News Online says…Pete commissioned artist Nathan... read more

ASHLEE IS OFFICIALLY PREGNANT, BORING

The fact that Ashlee Simpson is pregnant has been the worlds worst keep secret for at least a month. The story brokearound April 14th, and after 6 weeks of cutsey little denials, she and her husband Pete Wentz finally officially confirmed the news on Pete’s blog last... read more

WOCKA WOCKA WOCKA!!!

Pete Wentz and his sexy new wife Ashlee Simpson left the house yesterday and walked around like this. With Pete wearing a paper plate over his face. Get it? Because I don’t. Suffice to say, it wasn’t funny. It barely even qualifies as stupid. It’s just confusing. But I’m... read more