Ali Landry Is Pregnant Again

By Travis March 07, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Ali Landry has never done much to actually be considered famous, other than win Miss USA, star in a Doritos commercial and marry the guy who played Slater on Saved by the Bell for a whopping two weeks. But people still talk about her because she’s ridiculously gorgeous. And her husband is well aware of how good she looks, because he can’t seem to keep his pants on around her.

The one-time Eve star is expecting her third child, a boy, with hubby Alejandro Monteverde, E! News has exclusively confirmed.

The newest addition to the family will join a big, bouncing brood: The couple also has a 5-year-old daughter, Estela Ines, and a 1-year-old son, Marcelo Alejandro. (E!)

Monteverde is a Mexican director, but he doesn’t really direct movies that often. You can’t blame him, though, because if you’re married to Ali Landry, you’re probably just going to want to stay home and have sex with her 24/7. He probably has an online chat group called “Men with 39-Year Old Wives”, but it’s a trick because he just posts pictures of Landry with “BOOM, SUCK IT, PUSSIES”.

Kate Middleton Is Having A Girl

By Travis March 06, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

The Royal Family does absolutely nothing when it comes to running the United Kingdom, but they have a shit ton of money, so they get to pretend that crowns and robes still mean something over there. English people eat it up, too, because if Prince William was just Bill the accountant he’d probably have to pay for sex, even with a girl like Kate Middleton, who on her best days is a solid 7.

But since William is a wealthy prince, he doesn’t wear condoms and was able to knock Kate up, and that shit is like soap operas on PCP to people over there. Especially this woman. So imagine how excited they were when Kate accidentally spilled the beans on the gender of the Royal Baby.

Sandra Cook, 67, was among the 2,000 wellwishers who greeted the Duchess on her visit to Grimsby.

She told the Mail: ‘The lady next to me gave her a teddy bear and I distinctly heard her say “Thank you, I will take that for my d….”.

‘Then she stopped herself. I leant over and said to her: “You were going to say daughter, weren’t you?” She said: “No, we don’t know!” I said: “Oh, I think you do” to which she replied: “We’re not telling!” (Daily Mail)

And then Sandra was struck in the neck by a poison-tipped dart and fed to the Queen’s diseased orphan slaves in the dungeons beneath Buckingham Palace.

True or not, Pippa is still the more interesting Middleton sister, because she is single, has been known to party topless and any girl whose sister is the Duchess of Cambridge has to have really low self-esteem, which means A+ BJs, fellas.

this is Jeremy Renners secret pregnant girlfriend

By brendon January 23, 2013 @ 2:26 PM

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“Formerly secret” might have been a better way to put that but here she is, the mystery women that apparently not gay Jeremy Renner got pregnant; a 22-year-old model from Vancouver named Sonni Pacheco.

Although she doesn’t look very pregnant in these pictures. What’s that all about ? Jeremy should tie her to a rock and throw her in the river. If she floats, she was lying and is in collusion with the devil. If she sinks, hey, no harm done.

Kim Kardashian wont sell pictures of her baby (except for more money)

By brendon January 08, 2013 @ 3:09 PM

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It was very much out of character when Kim Kardashian reportedly turned down 3 million dollars for the first pictures of the baby she’s having with Kanye West, but very much in character now that it seems she did so because she’s holding out for more money.

…the longer they wait the better, because Kris Jenner has it all under control!
”Kris instructed Kim and Kanye to NOT sell photos of their baby for a mere $3 million! Kris thinks they could get double the amount.”

Yeah ok. Making every dime she can off what should be a private moment seems more like the Kardashians. Another good idea would be to televise her next gynecological exam on an episode of ‘Dirty Jobs’.

Princess Kate is pregnent

By brendon December 03, 2012 @ 4:30 PM

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The Royal Family announced today that Kate Middleton, who married Prince William in April of 2011, is expecting her first child. It’s still early on in her pregnancy, but she was admitted to a hospital in London today for morning sickness and also because she does tons of whippets. Like, 50 a day. Bitch has a problem.

is Megan Fox pregnant or not?

By brendon June 07, 2012 @ 2:31 PM

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Star was the first to report that Megan Fox was pregnant back in March, and E! said the same a month later, but she’s never publicly addressed it either way, so make what you will of these pictures of her leaving a nail salon in Studio City yesterday.

She certainly looks like she could be pregnant, but that would mean she was lying when she told me she was on the pill, even though she knew I wasn’t ready to start a family, and I refuse to believe she would ever do that.

(image source = splash)