Simon Cowell Is Not A Nice Or Neighborly Man

December 11, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Blatant disregard of parking rules is the icing on the cake when it comes to hating Cowell. His London neighbor decided that he would enforce the law with a golf club.


Mel B Wet For Simon Cowell

August 24, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Being sensitive is not why Simon secured a seat on the show. If being pleasant and respectful of others got ratings, cable TV would look a lot like Tumblr. Drama has been selling for centuries. Ask Shakespeare.


Simon Cowell’s Baby Mama Ain’t Bad Looking

December 23, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Simon Cowell’s buddy’s wide he knocked up isn’t half a bad catch. The way she threw away her husband and grade school son to be with Simon makes this one of the most romantic relationships in the history of upward mobility adultery. This isn’t anything like Angelina Jolie stealing Brad Pitt because she could pack […]


Lauren Silverman in A Bikini in Barbados

December 18, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I didn’t think Simon Cowell would stick with his buddy’s wife he knocked up for almost a full year now since she shat out his spawn. But there they are in Barbados with the little bastard, her other son from her marriage tucked safely away in boarding school on the most remote islet of Tierra […]


Lauren Silverman In A Bikini

August 19, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

You’ve got to be pretty stoked when your boring husband befriends a wealthy celebrity who shows a strong interest in plowing you. In a Lifetime movie, this would end up in some kind of deadly love triangle. In real life, Simon Cowell bangs a baby in you and you tell your husband you’re leaving for […]


Simon Cowell Declared Gay in Court

July 24, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

A music manager in British X-Factor Judge Tulisa Contostavlos’ drug trial ¬†was heard on an audiotape played in court saying that Simon Cowell was gay. It had nothing at all to do with the drug trial, but the judge allowed it to be heard so the media could freak the fuck out. The music manager […]


Simon Cowell Is Being Too Obvious

March 3, 2014 | Uncategorized | Brendon| 0 Comments

There’s no other reason for a really wealthy man to walk around on Miami Beach with no shirt on and two stupid little dogs on leashes than to try to get laid. Simon Cowell may love telling people how much he enjoys being a father for the first time, but he’s clearly missing the days […]


Simon Cowell Is a Winner

February 18, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Simon Cowell has already achieved so much, signing a whole bunch of British pop acts I’ve never heard of, berating emotionally troubled singers with dying family members on his talent shows, but it all pales in comparison to his latest feat, making a baby with his buddy’s wife. “I never knew how much love and […]


Simon Cowell’s Vacations Are Better Than Yours

January 6, 2014 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Because everyone with a ton of money is currently on vacation in St. Bart’s, Simon Cowell is also there with his pregnant girlfriend Lauren Silverman on his Slipstream yacht. Maybe it’s because their relationship started with a terrible affair that destroyed not only a marriage but also a friendship, but I’m surprised that Simon and […]


Lauren Silverman And Simon Cowell Are Just A Couple of Sweethearts

December 28, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There’s nothing more romantic than a Christmas beach stroll with your buddy’s wife who you knocked up over the summer. I’m sure her seven year old son understands that this Christmas mommy is away because the rich dude from the X-Factor made a baby inside of her and can’t be near him as part of […]