Simon Cowell's Baby Mama Ain't Bad Looking

Simon Cowell's buddy's wide he knocked up isn't half a bad catch. The way she threw away her husband and grade school son to be with Simon makes this one of the most romantic relationships in the history of upward mobility adultery. This isn't anything like Angelina Jolie stealing Brad Pitt because she could pack a bowl with her pussy and spark it from her ass while Jennifer Aniston collected self-help VHS tapes to...read more

Lauren Silverman in A Bikini in Barbados

I didn't think Simon Cowell would stick with his buddy's wife he knocked up for almost a full year now since she shat out his spawn. But there they are in Barbados with the little bastard, her other son from her marriage tucked safely away in boarding school on the most remote islet of Tierra del Fuego. Only in the movies do relationships originated in sin and deceit lead to horrible outcomes. In real life, you get...read more

Lauren Silverman In A Bikini

You've got to be pretty stoked when your boring husband befriends a wealthy celebrity who shows a strong interest in plowing you. In a Lifetime movie, this would end up in some kind of deadly love triangle. In real life, Simon Cowell bangs a baby in you and you tell your husband you're leaving for the world of luxury hotels and spas and yachts. It's like hitting the Scratchers jackpot. You put your existing kid in the...read more

Simon Cowell Declared Gay in Court

A music manager in British X-Factor Judge Tulisa Contostavlos' drug trial was heard on an audiotape played in court saying that Simon Cowell was gay. It had nothing at all to do with the drug trial, but the judge allowed it to be heard so the media could freak the fuck out. The music manager quickly came out and admitted he was lying on the audiotape to impress his cohort,but that has not stopped people from...read more

Simon Cowell Is Being Too Obvious

There's no other reason for a really wealthy man to walk around on Miami Beach with no shirt on and two stupid little dogs on leashes than to try to get laid. Simon Cowell may love telling people how much he enjoys being a father for the first time, but he's clearly missing the days that he could bring random women on to his yacht to stroke his chest hair while he fed them the meat of endangered baby animals....read more

Simon Cowell Is a Winner

Simon Cowell has already achieved so much, signing a whole bunch of British pop acts I've never heard of, berating emotionally troubled singers with dying family members on his talent shows, but it all pales in comparison to his latest feat, making a baby with his buddy's wife. "I never knew how much love and pride I would feel" Well, yeah, not just any 54-year old man has the tenacity to bang a bastard into somebody...read more

Simon Cowell's Vacations Are Better Than Yours

Because everyone with a ton of money is currently on vacation in St. Bart's, Simon Cowell is also there with his pregnant girlfriend Lauren Silverman on his Slipstream yacht. Maybe it's because their relationship started with a terrible affair that destroyed not only a marriage but also a friendship, but I'm surprised that Simon and Lauren are still together and haven't jumped to the inevitable settlement part of...read more

Lauren Silverman And Simon Cowell Are Just A Couple of Sweethearts

There's nothing more romantic than a Christmas beach stroll with your buddy's wife who you knocked up over the summer. I'm sure her seven year old son understands that this Christmas mommy is away because the rich dude from the X-Factor made a baby inside of her and can't be near him as part of the divorce settlement agreement. Not to get all Holden Caulfield, but it's pretty amazing how we fuck over kids just to get...read more

Simon Cowell Stepped Out With His Baby Mama

Media mogul Simon Cowell and the ass-grabbing woman he knocked up, Lauren Silverman, hit the town last night for a little dinner at an Italian restaurant, and they sure look happy, don't they? In fact, I can't tell who looks happier – the guy who got his best friend's wife pregnant or the now ex-wife of his best friend who got a ridiculously wealthy celebrity to knock her up. There are also rumors that Simon might...read more

Lauren Silverman Gropes Simon Cowell

Looking at these two lovebirds, you'd hardly know that just a few weeks ago they were announcing to Lauren's husband that she was pregnant with his good friends baby and they were taking off and how much cash to make it all go easy. A real Romeo and Juliet story. Maybe this one will end the same. Photo Credit: WENNread more

Simon Cowell And Lauren Silverman Kiss In Saint Tropez

There's really nothing more romantic than seeing a man kiss his buddy's wife he secretly knocked up. Watching randy dolphins try to bottle-nose female tourists at Hawaiian hotel chain pools is a close second. Simon Cowell and Lauren Silverman are now out of the closet and in France, where even the most despicable of characters can kiss in public and receive nothing but the social embrace of a society that flourished...read more

Simon Cowell Has It All

I guess Simon won. He's turned a bunch of amateur talent contest shows into mega hits, he has a good eye for spotting crappy music that teen girls love, he bangs lots of hot women, owns a yacht, and when he wants a baby, he just knocks up his buddy's wife because he thinks she'll make a good mom. I guess he's missing shit like humility and dignity and decency and a bunch of other stuff that no guy can really be...read more

Simon Cowell Was Also Banging Carmen Electra?

The Silvermans have settled their divorce terms. I know you were concered. Apparently Andrew Silverman was able to get out of some of the $4 million in prenup money he promised to his graceful wife with the If You Happen to Fuck Simon Cowell Behind My Back clause in the agreement. So just a cool mill. Andrew also took Simon's name out of the divorce papers for some other untold sum of money. But none of this cheesy...read more

Simon Cowell Parties With Friends On His Yacht

It's good to be Simon Cowell I guess. Or just really fucking rich and famous. Some men would be phased by learning they accidentally knocked up their friend's wife and she's keeping the baby. I remember a girlfriend once telling me she was 'late' and crying for a week during the wait. Not her crying, me crying. Not Simon. He got some girls and some brewskis and took out the yacht in the Riviera for some jet skiing and...read more

Simon Cowell Knocked Up His Buddy's Wife

There's a certain class of guys who will dip their wick in their buddy's wife. Let's call them Simon Cowell asswipes, just to pick a name. Simon's been laying pipe into his real estate buddy Andrew Silverman's wife for nobody knows how long, but at least a few months as she's now ten weeks pregnant with his first kid. But it's all cool, because a source tells US weekly that Lauren Silverman has been unhappy in her...read more