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(update) Vienna Girardi of the Bachelor is doing Playboy

Just so we're clear the girl pictured is not Vienna Girardi from 'the Bachelor'. Vienna Girardi is this lunatic and she's been in a million news articles this week for reasons I might know if I had read any of them. I didn't want her fuggin up my erotic website and this is about Playboy so instead this post has pictures of Playboy model Julri Waters, who is Asian, 5'3" and a 32G. It's like someone made a girl based on...read more

vanessa hudgens must be handicapped

Vanessa Hudgens of course is that sexy bitch from those Disney movies, and yesterday she was caught parking in an alleged handicapped spot (they should mark these better). I get mad when unattractive people do that, but in this case I agree with the hot teenager who is constantly taking and texting naked pictures of herself. I really admire the way she stands up to those god damed elderly. If you think about it, they...read more

punching girls is good excercise

Picking up trash because you punch girls in the face got a little bit sexier today when Chris Brown took off his shirt after a hard day of court ordered public service. He's a jackass but he's got good abs, I'll give him that. Back in Louisiana, I had a black friend named Curtis and he was built like one of the X-Men, like 220 pounds and all ripped out for no reason. As if his mom had been raped by a bear or...read more

you women are all nuts

Rihanna walked around New York yesterday with her pierced breasts on full display, and Jesus Christ I've just about had it with you god damn women. I dated a girl once and it took three weeks to get her into bed, and when I got down there it turns out she's pierced. So I had to jump through hoops for almost a month but at one point she went to a strip mall and spread her legs for some ex-con with a spike through his...read more

Milla is completely awesome, naked

I've always thought Milla Jovovich was insanely gorgeous, and anyone who sees these pictures from the Fall issue of 'Purple' magazine will undoubtedly agree. I'll never understand how a hack like Paul Anderson tricked her into marriage. I guess his plan for hitting on her was cooler than mine, which was to ask her out and when she said no, stand there and nod and act like it was no big deal until my bottom lip started...read more

Miami looks fun

Actress Carla Velli is kind of like the Scarlett Johansson of Italy, and I have no idea if that's true or not but people are always saying dumb shit like that so it might be true, and if we all just kind of agree that she is or at least might be the Scarlett Johansson of Italy and then drop it, then it sort of becomes relevant to this page and we can sit back and leer at the pictures of her topless yesterday in Miami....read more

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Oh hell yes

I'm not entirely sure how someone could lay out poolside at a hotel in Los Angeles and yet the only pictures of it are in newspapers from London, but that's what Kelly Brook and her boyfriend whose name I'm not going to learn did yesterday. I also don't know what he's doing here, but it's exactly what I would be doing 35 hours a day. "Oh no I slipped again. Clumsy me! Luckily your huge breasts were there to cushion...read more

Way to go Kanye

Considering how rich he is I always thought Kanye could do better than Amber Rose. She's not that good looking and her haircut makes her look like she's from the future, and she has that big ass which I find disgusting but I guess black guys love. The point to all this is that she looked surprisingly good yesterday on the beach in Miami. And by that I mean, "tits". (all the topless pics over here. or jumpa jumpa here....read more

Playboy gets it

Playboy hosted their 3rd Hot Summer Nights party this weekend, benefiting the United Breast Cancer Foundation, and someone over there is clearly a genius. If you want to scare people about breast cancer, you need to bring in a bunch of girls with huge breasts, really remind them what we stand to lose. If you invite a bunch of survivors, you take the chance that the girl is pretty anyway, then people think maybe breast...read more

Stick to things like this

Jenny McCarthy is mostly famous these days for her comically uninformed rants about vaccines causing autism. Time magazine and Johns Hopkins hospital say there's no evidence of any kind that this is true, but Jenny has big tits and showed her vagina in a magazine, so really she's just as much of an expert as these so called "doctors". People who defend Jenny says she's just a loving parent who cured her son of autism...read more

Vanessa is naked again - UPDATE

Vanessa Hudgens leapt from "High School Musical" and into my heart two years ago when naked pictures she took for boyfriend Zac Efron ended up online (fall in love all over again here). I have no idea what the back story is to these brand new pics that leaked this morning, but luckily there's not a single person on earth who cares for the time being, so that worked out nicely. SEXY UPDATE - added two more full size...read more

Lindsay Lohan is helpful

This mysterious strangers' identity was once thought to be an unsolvable mystery, but it turns out it's Lindsay Lohan. She probably thought she was hiding but in reality she looks way better like this. She should cover her alligator skin and dumb blond hair as much as possible, and just draw the viewers eyes to her big tits and tight little ass. Before going out, Lindsay should try on different skin tight tops, all...read more

Lauren Pope had a good idea

Lauren Pope is in Miami today to work some club tonight, and you may remember her because she's the UK model who was in the news a few weeks ago because people thought Lindsay was trying to get into her pants (here). Without her makeup, she sort of looks like a duck, but she had the good sense to get together with another former model and become DJs. Those people don't even do anything, so if you really need one, you...read more

Imogen is easily relaxed - UPDATE

Model Imogen Thomas was at a pool in Spain yesterday when suddenly one of her friends ripped her bikini off and the two of them ran around topless. And while I appreciate them showing me their tits, I can't condone that kind of horseplay. Wikipedia says over 2 million kids die every year from running around pools. No actually I just made that up, but wouldn't it be awesome. Kids are so GD annoying. SEXY UPDATE - now...read more

Gemma Atkinson is a good model

Model Gemma Atkinson and her new boyfriend Liam Richards (not pictured) are in the Caribbean this week, and I have no idea who the hell Liam Richards is, but he should walk around taking pictures of every thing he sees and cherishing every moment, because this is undoubtedly the best week of his life. Maybe he can fuck a golden beam of sunlight or a big box filled with diamonds one day, but other than that, Gemma...read more