Twitter Exec Can’t Figure Out Twitter

By Matt November 26, 2014 @ 6:07 AM

Twitter
Twitter CFO Anthony Noto tried to send a direct message to someone on Twitter but accidentally posted it publicly. This comes as a relief to anyone who has tried using Twitter, foundered incompetently, and ended up posting defamatory remarks about The Kids These Days on Facebook or just the bulletin board at work. While it wasn’t of the “I like it when you wear that fireman outfit and play with my balls” variety of classified info it could conceivably be damning as it appears to be some three piece suit cigar wielding dick swinging back room business strategizing for an upcoming meeting:

“I still think we should buy them. He is on your schedule for Dec 15 or 16 — we will need to sell him. i have a plan.”

If you have a meeting with Twitter for this date on your Rolodex you just gained considerable leverage. Worst case scenario Twitter is out a million or so bucks and can’t remodel the billiards room. Asteroids orbit close to earth constantly. This one hit and left a divot on the lawn. A racially charged comment about Obama or disparaging remark on the size of Mark Zuckerberg’s dick would have been kicked off a real shit storm. Keep your head up Noto. There’s plenty of people out there way dumber than you accidentally posting photos of their engorged genitals to their mother’s timeline.

Photo Credit: Twitter 

US Airways Took Social Media To New Heights

By Travis April 15, 2014 @ 9:00 AM

One of the fun things about being a person who doesn’t spend every waking moment on Twitter is that if someone important tweets something incredibly fucking stupid, which is usually at least once a day, and they delete it almost immediately, there’s still a chance that someone caught it and copied it. Yesterday, someone at US Airways proved this in a whole new way, when the airline tweeted an incredibly raunchy photo of a woman with a model airplane sticking out of her pussy not once, but twice in response to customers complaining about shitty flights and service. A lot of people were really offended and upset by the tweet in question, and US Airways issued an almost immediate apology, but I not only found a new preferred airline yesterday… I found a new love.

Photo Credit: US Airways

Hackers Outed Justin Bieber On E!’s Twitter

By Travis May 06, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

The Syrian Electronic Army became a household name two weeks ago, when so-called hackers logged into the Associated Press’ Twitter account and Tweeted that there had been an explosion at the White House and President Obama had been injured. The result was a 100-point dip in the DOW Jones Industrial Average in a matter of seconds, as people everywhere freaked out and prayed that Gerard Butler was coming to the rescue.

So how do you follow up a debut like that? By hacking E! Online’s Twitter feed apparently. That’s what the SEA did on Saturday, when they Tweeted that singer Justin Bieber had outted himself as “a gay” while also Tweeting that Angelina Jolie admitted that Jordan was responsible for the atrocities committed against Syrian refugees.

But since Bieber’s fans don’t know what any of those words mean, the hackers had to resort to calling someone gay. Although, a more impressive feat would have been hacking a Bieber fan’s Twitter account and spelling words correctly.

(Photo Credit: WENN.com)

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lets all pretend X-Men 3 never happened

By brendon November 27, 2012 @ 5:49 PM

xmen

Brett Ratner is such a shitty director that when he was done with ‘X-Men: The Last Stand’, the franchise had to literally go back in time before it existed and start over. Which is how we got ‘X-Men: First Class’ from the terrific Matthew Vaughn.

Now the sequel to that is back with Bryan Singer (who directed the first two), and he was twitter this afternoon to announce that Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart will be back playing Charles Xavier and Magneto, though presumably not in large roles since this movie closely follows ‘First Class’.

Even more surprising; there were apparently 117 other Ian McKellens on twitter.

Chris Brown fans seem stable

By brendon November 26, 2012 @ 5:43 PM

breezy

Chris Brown was doing the same stupid shit he always does on twitter last night (post “sexy” pictures of himself like it was some kind of gay classified), when he found himself in a war or words with beloved twitterer Jenny Johnson.

As you can see, things did not go well for Brown, on account of him being a dimwitted retard.

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Chris Brown’s Girlfriend Doesn’t Make Sense

By author March 13, 2012 @ 2:30 PM

spl364512

Chris Brown’s girlfriend, Karrueche Tran, made the news recently by engaging in a Twitter fight with Rihanna in which they both actually fight over urban America’s most beloved moonwalking woman-beater. In a new turn of events, and what I’m attributing solely to some sort of brain damage (See: being Chris Brown’s girlfriend, Results of), TMZ reports that Karrueche claims she is afraid of Rihanna’s crazy fans after receiving threatening tweets:

But several of Rihanna’s fans took the joke one step too far — unleashing an avalanche of violent threats on Karrueche … like “I hope Rihanna beat the dog shit outa yo ass!” … “Watch yo back” … and “I will kill you.

Yes, the terrifying fear in this situation comes from Rihanna’s illiterate teenage fans, not Chris Brown’s unpredictable toddleresque rage. Below are images of the happy couple in Chris’ car and what we should already start referring to as Exhibits A-J.

(Image Source = Pacific Coast News)