Vin Diesel Has Lost a Lot of Friends (VIDEO)

By Matt August 04, 2014 @ 6:04 AM

Vin Diesel recently opened up about the death of Paul Walker. Diesel said it was tough to lose Walker and then went into a self-serving monologue referencing his turbulent, war torn past:

“It’s a heavy thing, Michael. You know? I grew up in the bouncer world, and we lost people while we were bouncing. But the brotherhood in Paul Walker was something completely different.”

The bouncing world is clearly fraught with the dangers of cologne inhalation and clipboard wrist, but armed conflict is pretty rare. Bouncing is less dangerous than filming a Fast Furious film. Just because your buddy Fat Joey died of a cardiac event keeping the underaged frat kids out of the Palladium doesn’t rank him up there with Audie Murphy. If you want to name yourself after a fuel that powers Mac trucks you have to come up with a scarier glory days story than bouncing. Vin did play a lot of basketball in the mixed Jewish leagues in New York. You could take a fucking elbow in those games like nobody’s business. People have no idea how rough Vin had it coming up. So Vin is going to tell you, whether you like it or not.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

Vin Diesel Seems Like He’s Doing Well (VIDEO)

By Lex January 29, 2014 @ 3:57 AM

Vin Diesel just fired a shot of crazy across Tyrese’s bow in their competition as to who is more emotionally wrecked by the death of Paul Walker. Tyrese has circled the globe filming himself choking up as he looks at different shit that reminds him of Paul. Tyrese even used the sacred Grammy stage over the past weekend to give a heartfelt salute to Paul Walker supporters. That’s some mourning game right there. Both men have been working Twitter and personal appearances to rapid-fire their emotionally wrecked eulogies. It’s been neck and neck. But Vin just went nuclear, with the fucked up seven minute long Katy Perry and Beyonce webcam sing and dance along he posted to his inexplicably popular Facebook account. It’s not that you don’t often see a 46-year old man grabbing his junk and lip-synching to Beyonce half-dressed in his room, it’s just that when you do, it’s typically an exhibit in a criminal case against an online predator. I’m not legally allowed to say Vin is high as fuck, so I won’t. He does look like a dancing cotton ball who is surprised to see his lips moving when he’s speaking. Maybe Vin really did love Paul Walker more than Tyrese? Unless you got something more fucked up than this, Tyrese, maybe cut off a limb with a jigsaw or do some Turk 182 shit on the side of the Porsche factory in Stuttgart, time to step down.

Neither of these two dudes could really match the raw fucked up mourning power of Tila Tequila when she lost the lesbian heiress she thought was going to gay marry her during Christmas ’09.

Video credit: above (Vin Diesel Facebok), below (Satan).

Vin Diesel is rad to the max

By brendon May 04, 2011 @ 6:31 PM

Literally anything. Thats what this post is, because Holy Christ there is nothing going on today. So let’s selectively choose something about Vin Diesel so we can laugh at him. Like this video from 1986, before he was calling himself Vin Diesel and still going by Mark Sinclair, and making breakdancing videos set to the worst music you’ll ever hear. At least until you go to Soundcloud and listen to Vins rap demo that they somehow found and uploaded this week. It’s hard to always understand what he’s rapping about, but I assume it’s his life of celibacy.

Paris Hilton hates black people

By brendon March 22, 2011 @ 3:09 PM

Remember that time Paris Hilton was at a club and someone was filming it and she looked into the camera and said, “We’re like two niggers.” If you don’t watch the video above because that’s it.

Well the reason she said that is because she was out partying and drunk but mostly because she’s racist as fuck and always has been. LA Weekly has an excerpt from a new book about Hollywood from reporter Neil Straus, who interviewed her at a party when she was 18…

during which she takes a hit of E at a party, brags about her boob job at 14 (her mom made her remove them), a possible pose for Playboy, and a would-be conquest that didn’t happen because…

Paris is a good storyteller, let’s let her tell it.

HILTON: I went out with that guy last night.
STRAUSS: Which guy?
HILTON: (points to an actor in Saving Private Ryan): We were making out, but then we went somewhere where it was bright and I saw that he was black and made an excuse and left. I can’t stand black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross. (pauses). Does that guy look black to you?
STRAUSS: How black does a guy have to be?
HILTON: One percent is enough for me.

Is this really a surprise? You can just look at some people and tell they say “nigger” a lot and Paris Hilton is definitely one of them.

afternoon headlines

By brendon March 19, 2009 @ 12:39 PM

VIN DIESEL  – his PR firm dropped him as a client after he disappeared then claimed he was sick rather than doing a day of press to promote “Fast and Furious”.  So, good.  His excuse was so dumb it borders on condescending. He might as well have started to do a phony English accent half way through the call and said he wasn’t Vin Diesel. (source = new york post)

TITS – this is like those comics where Superman fights Bat Man.  Except here they’re wearing bikinis. (source = college humor)

MEGAN FOX – They’re supposed to be broken up, yet Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are together constantly.  Now this: “They appeared very much back together while buying two shopping carts full at Bed Bath & Beyond”.  Granted, I get why he won’t leave.  If she ever walked me to her bedroom, I would die, I’d finish the instant she undid my pants.  And it would look like a whale when it surfaces and does that blowhole thing.  (story = e! online, pictures = flynet)


By brendon August 27, 2008 @ 7:29 AM

Fast & Furious

You know those fully loaded gasoline land trains you always see? Yeah me neither. But apparently the street value of one of those is 1.4 million dollars. I was surprised. The kids are doing so much gasoline on the street these days, the market for back-alley filling stations is exploding. Here in the teaser trailer for "Fast and the Furious 4", the driver of an 800-yard-long truck takes on his number 2 nemesis, Vin Diesel. His greatest foe? Right turns.