Spider-Man less amazing now than the first 3 times

By brendon July 09, 2012 @ 1:16 PM

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‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ easily won the weekend box office (it helps to open Monday at midnight and have a 6-day opening “weekend”) earning $75 million in it’s first 3 days ($140M total), making it a huge success by any standard.

Unless your standard is the other Spider-Man movies, from the trilogy that ended just 5 years ago, because ‘Spider-Man‘ earned $115 million in it’s first 3 days. ‘Spider-Man 2‘ made $130 million, and ‘Spider-Man 3‘ topped them both with $151 million. The re-boot made $40M less than the lowest one, despite the advantage of higher ticket prices on 3D (which accounted for 44 percent of sales) and IMAX (which accounted for 10 percent).

But it still made tons of money so Sony doesn’t really give a shit if you saw it because you somehow don’t know the most famous origin story in all fiction or saw it because you’re just kind of obligated to see movies like this in the summer. I didn’t do either. You can’t just film the same fucking action with new people and expect me to watch it. Unless we’re talking about porn, in which case I totally will.

‘The Avengers’ made 205 million, smashes old record

By brendon May 07, 2012 @ 10:29 AM

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Until now, ‘Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2’ had the biggest opening weekend ever when it made $169M, and though the numbers won’t be official until later today, ‘The Avengers’ reportedly made $205 million in it’s opening weekend, more than double the old record (or maybe not “double”. I’m not great with numbers.)

It’s now made almost $650 million worldwide, meaning a lot of high-priced call girls are gonna get punched out in celebration by coked-up executives over at Disney this week. Watch out ladies!

‘the Avengers’ made $185M this weekend, opens 4 days from now

By brendon April 30, 2012 @ 12:52 PM

If you haven’t already bought tickets to see ‘the Avengers’ next weekend, and you live on earth, you might want to because Deadline says it’s already sold $185 million in tickets overseas, while in the US it’s pre-sold more tickets than every other Marvel movie combined and is tracking for an opening weekend of at least $125 million. On top of all that it’s currently getting a 97 on rotten tomatoes and a 75 on metacritic.

In a related story, Universal announced that they’re renaming ‘Battleship’ and calling it ‘The Avengers!’ now.

weekend box office was the second lowest all year

By brendon December 12, 2011 @ 1:23 PM

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A cast including Sarah Jessica Parker, Ashton Kutcher, Jon Bon Jovi, Katherine Heigl, Josh Duhamel, Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Robert De Niro, Zac Efron, Lea Michele, and Michelle Pfeiffer wasn’t enough to get anyone to go see ‘New Years Eve’, which was number 1 at the box office despite grossing just $13.7 Million. It’s the 66th lowest debut of 2011, even lower than ‘Something Borrowed’ and ‘Jumping the Broom’, which I don’t think are even real movies.

It did much worse than ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ ($27.8M) and ‘Valentines Day’ ($56.3M), and doesn’t bode well for ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’, which all share the same theme of being romantic comedies with a big-name ensemble cast embarrassing themselves in idiotic vignettes for money. How Zac Efron wasn’t a vampire in this thing defies belief.

(source = box office mojo)

Brett Ratner lied about “banging” Olivia Munn

By brendon November 08, 2011 @ 10:42 AM

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Brett Ratner had a perfectly terrible weekend, and that’s awesome because he’s a shitty director and an asshole and no one deserves success less than he does. Here’s a recap:

FRIDAY: Ratner explained that the reason his movies look like no one bothered to rehearse is because no one bothered to rehearse. Then he added the word “fags”.

“After a screening of his new movie ‘Tower Heist’ at L.A.’s Arclight Cinemas, the director came out for a Q&A, and when asked by the moderator whether he prepares and rehearses with his actors before shooting a scene, Ratner waved his hand dismissively and said, “Rehearsal is for fags.”

To be honest this seems dumb because he obviously wasn’t insulting gay people and he meant “fag” more like the way South Park explained it, but since gay groups are naturally inclined to throw hissyfits, that’s what they did, forcing him to apologize to save his gig producing this years Oscar telecast.

SATURDAY AND SUNDAY: ‘Tower Heist’ sort of tanked at the box office, finishing the weekend in second place with just $24 million, about 11 million less than it was expected to make. On the bright side that’s still 24 million more than a lazy copy of ‘Oceans 11′ except instead of Brad Pitt and Catherine Zeta Jones they have Eddie Murphy flirting with a 1400 pound moonfaced lump should have made.

MONDAY: Ratner admitted he was lying last week when he went on G4 and said he had sex with Olivia Munn. To be specific, what he said was…

“She was hanging out on my set of ‘After the Sunset,’ I banged her a few times, but I forgot her.”

Needless to say she didn’t really appreciate that. No girl would. Trust me, I haven’t been a virgin for months now, I know what a lady looks for in a lover.

‘Real Steel’ won the weekend box office

By brendon October 10, 2011 @ 1:40 AM

‘Real Steel’ was the number 1 movie at the box office this weekend, grossing a fairly weak $27.3 million. ‘Ides of March’ was second with $10.4 million, ‘Dolphin Tale’ was third with $9.1M, ‘Moneyball’ fourth with $7.5M, and ‘50/50’ was fifth with $5.5 million. I didn’t see any of those by the way so don’t tell me how ‘Real Steel’ ends. I bet it’s surprising!

(deadline)