Gigi Hadid’s Boy Toy Is Not Met Gala Material

June 24, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Remember that guy from school that would hook up with the one chick everybody has been with and try to hide the fact that he agreed to be in a relationship with her? That’s Zayn Malik. The world knows... READ MORE

Zayn And Gigi Gender Fuckers For Vogue

July 13, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Celebrity couple Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid break zero ground in their new self-assessed groundbreaking spread for Vogue titled "Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik Are Part of a New Generation Embracing Gender Fluidity." These pioneers for gender fluidity are like... READ MORE

Zayn Malik Seems Uniquely Reasonable

June 23, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Nobody likes the TSA junior detective kit set up at airports. Even terrorists seeking an eternal heaven can't abide a two hour wait to go bare feet with strangers. Though everybody begrudgingly agrees they don't want to end up... READ MORE

Zayn Malik’s Memoirs Seem Particularly Bereft

November 3, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Celebrity memoirs are being churned out for progressively younger celebrities. Books come easier when you don't write them yourself. This boy band singer is twenty-three. He's not even sharing his best stories of his crazy long four year career.... READ MORE

Azealia Banks Suspended

May 13, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Twitter suspended Azealia Banks for a bunch of anti-Muslim rants at former One Direction band member Zayn Malik. She despises him being half Pakistani, being Muslim, being white pretending to be black, being a "sand nigger", coming from England... READ MORE

Zayn Malik Is Really Fucking Pretty And Shit Around The Web

November 26, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

One day, young models with perfect tits will be allowed to openly date men who like beer and action movies. That day is not today. Gigi Hadid cavorting and or bearding with One Direction’s Zayn Malik. (TMZ) Taylor Marie... READ MORE

Zayn Malik Expendable

March 20, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

If you had a legitimate band and one of the members left you’d start freaking out. If you’re a gaggle of twinks who move their lips on cue it’s not that big of a deal. Hence, Zayn Malik of One... READ MORE

Zayn Malik Might Be Married

July 17, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

One Direction’s Zayn Malik created chaos among his prepubescent legion of Forever 21 shoppers by posting a photo of himself wearing a wedding ring. Malik’s spokesperson said the ring is  merely an engagement ring and requested that only girls with... READ MORE