You never forget the first time you see an eighteen year old getting paid to be in her underwear. Kate Upton did this lingerie modeling gig as she turned barely legal; not exactly the Hustler version of the concept,... READ MORE

Here’s how you know Kendra Wilkinson is serious. She’s wearing some kind of rubber outfit. She’s bentover. And her husband Hank is off to the side holding her purse and cellphone. It’s a sure sign the girls in it... READ MORE

There’s really no cheaper thrill than staring at a woman’s nipples through her sweaty top. Nor better. I can really only speak to the embarrassing inopportune engorgements of the males of the species. I’d have to imagine the female... READ MORE

E. L. James, the shitty author of the series of “erotic” novels Fifty Shades of Grey, is now giving lessons on writing. These books have sold millions of copies to bored middle-aged women in the suburbs so they can... READ MORE

At some point in the douchebag lifecycle, you reach self-awareness. If you’re lucky, it happens early, in junior high school when you look in the mirror and realize you look like a total dick for putting gel in your... READ MORE

Before she was the world’s most successful party-planning ex-con, Martha Stewart was a model. Yeah, I didn’t know either. And you have to go way back. But the woman with the recipe for creating the perfect pressed duck by... READ MORE

Women hate Eva Mendes because she’s getting boned by Ryan Gosling. Men hate Eva Mendes because they can’t have her. What’s a misunderstood sexy Latina to do? Buy a big fucking dog that eats slower children. If you so... READ MORE

Chrissy Teigen knows how to use Twitter properly. To celebrate her 200,000 Twitter follower, or just because she was knocking a few back once more and accidentally hit the send button, the harsh-tongued (mmm, harsh tongue) SI model took... READ MORE

I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but Britney Spears’ ass went on vacation and it isn’t coming back. My dad did that once, though to be fair, he showed up thirteen years later. I doubt Britney’s ass is... READ MORE

Like most young, attractive girls these days, Paulina Gretzky is famous because she’s very attractive and her father is extremely wealthy. Her dad, of course, is NHL legend Wayne Gretzky, and the Great One is so proud of what... READ MORE