Bruce Jenner Still Clinging To His Junk

Bruce Jenner is balking at going full Caitlyn. He's not yet ready to give up the package. It's the final step on this wondrous voyage of self-discovery, self-involvement, and self-absorption.When you can grab the cock and nuts out of Master Kan's hands, it is time to walk the earth a woman. Even Jenner refers to the lopping off process as 'gender confirmation'. Which seems odd since the working fable is that he was...read more

Coco Porn Props Her Baby (VIDEO)

If Coco hadn't been able to conceive a child forher best sex shoot prop ever, she would've had to purchase one in an Albanian bazaar. This fucking baby is the best thing that ever happened to thekumquat shapedmodel. Coco's photo and video work over the last four months consists of her with a string up her ass making kissy faces to her baby she named Chanel. Featuring your infant in your soft core porn work is the...read more

National Equal Pay For Women Day Is the Best

National Equal Pay For Women Day isn't the first holiday based entirely upon a myth. In fact, most of them are. Columbus didn't discover America. St. Valentine didn't believe in taking your chick to Fudrucker's only to witness her soul crushing disappointment. The simplistic and completely unsubstantiated sloganthat women earn 78-cents on the dollar to men continues to spread throughout the land. It's the basis of...read more

Josie Canseco Has Chosen

The nature versus nurture argument rages on in second generation celebrity and model kids choosing modeling over Starbuck's barista or mollyaddict as their career path. The benefit of going into modeling without actually needing the work is you get less Terry Richardson cock in your face. You don't have to have that two grand to bring your mom over from Slovakia and you can already get yourself meetings with major...read more

Screech Is Free And Shit Around The Web

Dustin "Screech" Diamond was released from jail a month early for being good at moping floors and biting down hard during sexual assaults. You'll recall that Screech was arrested for stabbing a guyon Christmas at a bar where you deserve to be stabbed I wonder how long it will be before he's back in jail? (TMZ) Alessandra Ambrosio in a tight blue tank top is fucking amazing. (Last Men On Earth) Barbara Palvin wants you...read more

Kim Kardashian Insertion Time

Following her second fake marriage blowback, somebody on the Kim Kardashian publicity team decided Kardashian should fly into the middle of trending tragedies like an angel with a gaping rectum. It started with her two hour selfie drop into Haiti after the earthquake. Kardashian tossed faux pearls at the children and told them to contact her if they grew up to be famous black entertainers with decent girth. She...read more

XHamster Cock Blocking North Carolina

If you're looking for the bleeding edge of civil rights leadership, visit your local online mega-porn redistribution outlet. XHamster, which hosts an endless number of porn clips in robust search categories including "Black Slave Girl" and "Gay Humiliation", is protestingNorth Carolina's new law insisting dudes with dicks use the men's room regardless of their gender identity. XHamster has started blocking IP...read more

Rachel Dolezal Writing a Book

The black NAACP executive and Africanastudies professorwho turned out to be white and into the Big Bang Theory is writing a book on her experiences falling from fake-race grace. Rachel Dolezal visited the Today Show who lacked any more reasonably credible guests to discuss the book which she hasn't yet begun writing: I've heard a lot of stories from people around the world about their lives being somehow caught...read more

Heidi Klum in A Bikini

There's a smile reserved for women fucking men half their age. This signature achievement is like no other form of VIP designation. Older dudes get into younger women whenever they can. But post-coitus they turnnervously to the sky, like their well might dry up if Zeus randomly decides. The rare middle aged woman who confidently fucks a dude in his 20's on a boat in her bikini throws of the aura of an Ali confidence...read more

Iggy Azalea Jokes About Slicing Off Nick Young's Cock

In the wake of Lakers scrub Nick Young getting busted on video talking about fucking other girls, fiancée Iggy Azalea has threatened to go Lorena Bobbitt on him. Which isn't really Lorena Bobbitt since she went Lorena Bobbitt without warning. "I already said one more video, just one more thing and you will lose a quarter of your meat.I'm not cool with it… Like you'll have half a penis." That would leave him with only...read more

Josh Homme Gets All Up In Fan's Grill

Video of Queens of the Stone Age lead singer, Josh Homme, berating an autograph-seeking fan has emerged. Homme aggressively upbraidsthe guy, calling him a "fucking loser" and "spoiled motherfucker." It would be easy to call out Hommefor bad behavior until you realize that the fan is an adult with a beard. If you can grow a beard, you can't ask for another human's autograph anymore. With facial hair comes great...read more

Kate Middleton Has Some Nasty Dogs

Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton and the bald guy she married because he's worth billions visited India. India used to be a colonial territory in the British Empire until Indiansrealized fighting British guysisn't super hard.The royal couple removed their shoes for a tour of the Gandhi museum. Ghandi didn't eat for five years. The least you can do is take off your fucking shoes. Afoot specialist named Dave Wein was...read more

Azealia Banks Orders a Gang Rape on Sarah Palin and Jennifer Lopez Working With Kesha's Rapist on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #40 (AUDIO)

People concerned with government censorship tend to dramatically exaggerate the practical problem. I think we mentioned banging Obama's daughter twenty episodes ago and we're still around. I am being audited. So there's that. As long as I'm not disappeared into a soccer stadium, I'm good. I fucking hate soccer. On this week's show we tackle the underpants that allow menstruating women to bleed freely, Azealia Banks...read more

Tom Cruise Working Something Big

Tom Cruise has received permission from the partially ethereal leaders of the Church of Scientology to move into L. Ron Hubbard's old castle digs in England and spruce it up a bit. The former Hubbard home before he headed to sea to avoid tax jailis located in the Vermont of the U.K. East Grinstead is filled with wacky hippies and cultists and people who cut their own hair and churn bitter butter in between stenciling...read more

Lindsay Lohan Boobs And Shit Around The Web

Lindsay Lohan still looks decent from above the waist and below the neck when her tits are visible. It's a start. Or a finish, depending how they chart that phenomenon in rehab. Remember when Lindsay Lohan was hot? (Taxi Driver) Tom Cruise moves in with the dark lord Xenu. (Last Men On Earth) Eliza Cummings is topless in Marie Claire Italy. (Egotastic All-Stars) Imogen Thomas sports a purple bikini. (Egotastic) Is it...read more