OPRAH WINFREY - had Charla Nash as a guest on her show yesterday. She’s the woman from Connecticut who had her face and hands bitten off by a pet monkey last year. It’s hard to describe what she looks like now, so just scream at the top of your lungs. There. She looks like that. (oprah.com)
DONALD TRUMP - is number 2 on this list of the ten highest paid men on television. He somehow made 50M off ‘the Apprentice’, which must mean the 10 people who knew that dumb shit was even still on the air all own around 900 tv’s each. (ny post)
DEAD PEOPLE - The ABC obstacle course game show ‘WipeOut’ had a contestant die after performing on the show. The 33yo man complained of pain in his knee, then had a stroke and later died. A disease that left him prone to blood clots is being blamed, at least if you listen to the Jew-run media. What’s the real end game here? Out in my car I’ve got some stuff you should read. (the wrap)
SELENA GOMEZ - went to the TV Guide Hot List Party last night, and she turned 17 in July, meaning I can finish writing this post in just about 8 months. (getty images)
The highlight of todays audio clip on Radar is when Dina Lohan admits to Michael Lohan that their daughters lifestyle is going to kill her sooner than later (“time is running out with this kid. I know, I’m her mother and I feel it and I’m scared.”). Luckily it seems the message may finally be getting through. I’m joking of course. When asked about her father releasing these tapes to pressure her into drug rehab, Lindsay says…
“I hate him so much. My father knows nothing other than how to sell stories for money instead of getting a real job like normal people do, including myself.”
No need to read that again because yes she thinks she has a job. The last time Lindsay had a movie in a theater it made $56,000. Total. Not including that one, all her movies since 2005 have made an average of 15M. To put that in perspective, ‘Ponyo’, ‘New Girl in Town’ and ‘Shorts’ all made more than that this year, and those movies probably don’t even exist.
So since Lindsay doesn’t matter, there’s really no need to have pictures of her. Instead here are pictures of Asian girls with disproportionately large breasts in bikinis. I know that’s an incredibly specific type of gallery, but god dammit man, you read Tyler, you deserve the very best in life! Huzzah!
(story source = msnbc. box office numbers on box office mojo here and here. full size of banner pic here)
Her handlers are claiming Britneys twitter page was hacked this morning after the wallpaper changed and two posts revealing her allegiance to the devil were posted, but of course they’re gonna say that. Nice try. It’s fairly obvious that she worships Satan. Or, hey look, if you have a better theory as to how an average looking white girl who can’t sing or dance made a billion dollars with her sexy singing and dancing, I’m all ears.
Taylor Swift is probably too sweet to realize how it would look when paparazzi had her kiss the very phallic statue last night after the CMA awards, but she probably doesn’t care considering she just went beast mode and won every award in sight. Still only 19-years-old, she won all 4 awards she was nominated for, but the headline was when she became the youngest person to ever win Entertainer of the Year (the biggest award) and the first female to take it since Shania Twain in 1999.
“I’ll never forget this moment because in this moment everything that I have ever wanted has just happened to me,” Swift said through tears as she accepted the association’s highest honour during ceremonies at Sommet Center.
The 19-year-old crossover sensation beat the biggest names in country and snapped Kenny Chesney’s stranglehold on the category: He won three straight and four of the last five. She also ended Carrie Underwood’s three-year dominance in the female vocalist category.
Chesney hugged and kissed Swift on the cheek, then whispered a message in her ear before she received the trophy. She called her band on stage and was the centre of a group hug as fans cheered wildly, holding signs that said, “We love you, Taylor”; her father cried in the audience.
“Every single person in that category let me open up for them this year,” Swift said. “Thank you all so much. I love you.”
I couldn’t even afford a soft taco when I was 19, so I’m tempted to tell Taylor to kiss my ass, but gratitude is an incredibly endearing quality and she seems nice and she writes all her own songs so it’s hard to resent her. I could have been rich and famous at 19 too, except my only noticeable talent was right-clicking pictures of underage girls and naked models and then masturbating. I went down to the French Quarter where the street performers hang out and did my act for tips, but it wasn’t really the money making extravaganza I had hoped for.
A new billboard in SoHo for Calvin Klein is getting some people all worked up because they claim it’s, “borderline pornography”. The ad, which features Eva Mendes, is also on Sunset Blvd. in West Hollywood, but no one there seems to be complaining. Maybe because much of the real pornography is filmed 2 minutes away in mansions in the Hollywood Hills. You’re going to have a hard time upsetting someone who just spent the morning with ‘Down The Hatch 19’ filming next door.
Last night was the much anticipated “three-way” on ‘Gossip Girl’, and in a very much related story, kiss my ass ‘Gossip Girl’. Even though it featured Hilary Duff slightly nuzzling up against another girl, that was not a three-way according to any rational definition of the term “three-way”. It’s only a three-way if at some point you ask the girl if she likes it and the only answer she can give is “hhrrummm”.
