Azealia Banks Has a Shit Ton of Excuses (VIDEO)

Azealia Banks bleached her skin lighter. Banks is a racist and a homophobe and nearly impossible to like, but she was easy to admire in her laser-like focus of racial rage. Malcolm X was probably annoying as fuck on a car ride, but you had to respect how he stayed on point. Banks was so comfortable with her skin lightening decision that she recorded a twenty-two minute video filled with an array of rationalizations:read more

Russell Wilson And Ciara Can Finally Bang

Russell Wilson is about to hit the shot heard 'round the world as he has married his longtime beard. He claims he was not having sex with his girlfriend Ciara for religious purposes. It's highly possible he's a zealot and using fake celibacy to help market his line of holy water and lambskin condoms. It's also possible he's a big gay, as is evidenced by his gay face.read more

Rose McGowan Backs Up Renee Zellweger

Rose McGowan has come to Renee Zellweger's defense even though nobody asked her to. Beats working. She has beef with a writer named Owen Gleiberman who wrote a piece in The Hollywood Reporter about how it's fairly odd that Zellweger got a new face.read more

DeNiro In Denial

Robert DeNiro has clearly done coke. Disgraced former asshole ballplayer Lenny Dykstra has most certainly done coke. They more than likely did coke together. What's the big fucking deal let's end the drug war.read more

Kevin Durant Emotional Turmoil and Boozie Badazz's Gay Cartoon Conspiracies on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #51 (AUDIO)

On this week's episode we explore the cosmically difficult decision facing Kevin Durant in deciding who gets to pay him his next $150 million, one rapper's claim that cartoons are gay and making kids gay, the extent to which men are still signing up for Ashley Madison even knowing it's fake and unsafe, and John Cena's open letter to white people and or bigots, one in the same.read more

Things Not To Say When You're Banging a Baby Into a Woman Not Your Fiancée

People have always been really fucking stupid. Social media has allowed us a window into the stupid. Imagine if Magic Johnson had lived his Showtime humping diary out on Twitter. Far less mystique. Though a clearer insight into where The AIDS came from. Nick Young is the crop of millennials who have confused social media with shit you only share with your friends over drinks. I know more about Nick Young's personal...read more

Sylvie Meis in A Bikini

It's off putting when men are baby crazy. It's usually associated with very high ego professional athletes intentionally spawning to ensure a massive brood and future bankruptcy claims. This Dutch lingerie model's soccer husband ditched her after she got cancer in her lady parts and could no longer produce more children.read more

Jennifer Aniston Nipping In New York And Shit Around The Web

There's a special affection a man feels for a woman whose nipples are constantly visible. It's a maternal comfort combined with an unseemly erection. This is why we have shrinks. Work that shit out. It's not Jennifer Aniston's fault she really loves the sunshine.read more

Black Widow Laments More Women Don't Have Amazing Box Office Breasts

Scarlett Johansson was named to a largely bogus list of top box office grossing stars in Hollywood, the only woman in the Top 10. The Box Office Mojo list is based upon the ticket take of all the movies you've appeared in, not necessarily starred in, so it's mostly bad science. As a for instance, Michael Caine gets credited with The Dark Knight cumulative for playing Alfred. Any old British person would do. As in most...read more

Fitness Model Exploiting Sanctity of Body Shaming for Publicity

If you want membership in the club of social media fitness models, your credentials are your tight glute shots. That and obligatory relatable shots of a young child watching mom workout. Mommy needs to get in her three hour workout before webcamming under a stage name. Being fit is not actually a job. Stuffing your snatch with plastic is. Go figure, child.read more

Justin Bieber Pick of the Litter

Magazines overly concerned with whom Justin Bieber is currently extending his tiny romantic appendage believe young model Alexandra Rodriquez might be the one. First, she owns that same underaged appearance as Selena Gomez. A midget never forgets his first normal.read more

Kim Kardashian Poses For Uncle Terry

The Kim Kardashian and Terry Richardson alliance pits together two bigs in the fornication magic business. Kardashian is firmly in the camp of Richardson photo subjects who support him against allegations of improper behavior with models. Though in the context that having a man slap his dick against your face for inspiration is perfectly natural. It's how the plumber used to get to work on the hair clogged drains in...read more

I'm Ariel Winter and This Is My Ass

The fact that you can get away with being both an anti-body shaming feminist advocate and an attention whore showing off your ass on social media is why the Internet is the Wonka Factory for masturbating age and above. There are no rules.read more

Charlotte McKinney Patriotic Tits On The 4th And Shit Around The Web

It's a violation of the U.S. Code to burn an American flag. However, rubbing your hot and hungry tits all over the Stars and Stripes is applauded. Actually, that seems sane.read more

Paris Jackson Still Doing It

Having a dead gay pedophile fake dad cannot be that easy. You should probably issue a declarative stance. For your own mental health. I would and my dad wasn't a bleached white black eunuch who fucked little boys and is still paying my rent posthumously.read more