Ratings for the 12th season of American Idol, for the lack of a nicer term, suck whale balls and they have dropped almost every week since the debut. Last week, the show’s ratings were down 33% from the same time last year, so it’s safe to say that people are growing tired of Nicki Minaj lecturing drama club kids about talent. Or maybe they’re just tired of talent shows like The Voice or X Factor in general, but either way it seems that Dave Grohl is once again the voice of reason in an otherwise autotuned world.
“I think people should feel encouraged to be themselves. That’s what bums me out about those shows where people are judged so harshly by fucking musicians that hardly even play an instrument on their own fucking albums. It makes me really mad.”
He added: “I swear to God, if my daughter walked up onstage and sang her heart out and some fucking billionaire looked at her and said, ‘No, I’m sorry you’re not any good,’ I’d fucking throttle that person, I swear to God. Who the fuck are you to say what’s good or bad?”
Grohl also reckons the shows homogenise music so that “everyone sounds like fucking Christina Aguilera.” The Foo Fighters singer added: “The next time someone says you’re not a good singer say: ‘Fuck You’. I interviewed Neil Young and he said in his band someone said to him: ‘The band’s really great, but honestly you shouldn’t be the singer.’ If Neil Young had listened to that person then we wouldn’t have had any Neil Young.” (NME)
Can anyone even name the last five people who won on American Idol? Hell, the last three people? At least other countries are still trying to make their versions of American Idol relevant. Like, the Czech Republic, for instance. Last week, they had 19-year old pop singer Ewa Farna on, and she looks a hell of a lot more interesting than these Season 12 finalists. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but that Ewa Farna just grabs my attention.
ALICIA KEYS – will sing the National Anthem at Super Bowl XLVII in New Orleans on February 3rd. Or 4th, or 5th, or whenever it is that Saints fans run out of beer bottles to throw at Roger Goodell and they can start the game. (e!)
AMERICAN IDOL – returned Wednesday and had it’s lowest ratings ever for a season premiere, down 19 percent from last year, which itself was down 24 percent from the year before. Fox has had no comment so far, but one theory is that the show is pointless and terrible. (cnn)
MICHAEL J. FOX – would not be happy if his son ever ended up dating Taylor Swift because she “writes songs about everybody she goes out with.” She also has a pointy nose like a little rat if that helps his cause any. (vulture)
KATY PERRY – will join Kelly Clarkson, Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Usher, Brad Paisley, Chris Cornell, Will.i.am, John Legend, Ke$ha, and dozens more to perform at multiple parties for President Obama’s inauguration on Monday, an event which will cost taxpayers around $115 million for a fake ceremony because he’ll actually be sworn in, privately, the day before. It’s part of a traditional bi-partisan policy called, “We’re Broke Because We Spend Your Tax Money On Ourselves And Other Stupid Shit So Then We Take More Because You Can Go Fuck Yourself”. (huff post)
ZOMBIELAND – might finally become a TV show, which was actually the idea from the very beginning before it became a movie. The show will still revolve around the 4 main characters from the movie, and whether or not they can escape from a brain dead slug that takes 30 minutes to cross the street. (io9)
NICKI MINAJ – called Mariah Carey a “bitch” during last nights premiere of ‘American Idol’. And also before the premiere, after the premiere, and every other time Mariah Careys name has ever come up. (radar)
JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT – will film some nude scenes for her show ‘The Client List’ on Lifetime, but it’s pointless because they will then blur everything before the broadcast so you wont actually see her naked. I bet her boyfriend wishes he could do that. (enquirer)
SHARON OSBORNE – started a small fire in her Beverly Hills home last night after falling asleep with some candles burning. Someone should really invent a candle that has a layer of smelling salts like half way down. (tmz)
AL PACINO – will play Joe Paterno in a movie called ‘Happy Valley’ for director Brian DePalma. No word yet on who might be interested in the Jerry Sandusky role, but they should probably be arrested immediately. (huff post)
KATE UPTON – is in a white bikini in the new GQ, but there’s just the one picture, because why would anyone be interested in something like that.
There were rumors that Mariah Carey didn’t want ‘American Idol’ to hire Nicki Minaj as a judge because the two didn’t get along. According to this footage from the auditions in Charlotte yesterday, those rumors were 100 percent true.
Nicki: “…and if you’ve got a fucking problem, handle it. I told them I’m not fuckin’ putting up with her fucking highness over there. Figure it the fuck out. Figure it out.” Mariah: “Oh why, WHYYYY do I have a three year old sitting around me?” Nicki: “I’m not gonna sit here every fucking minute to have you come down and harass me every minute everyday.” Mariah: “I can’t see my kids, because you decided to act like a little crazy bitch and go all around the stage.” Nicki: “Good. Go see them now, go see them now, you’re boring as fuck, you’re boring as fuck.”
Well, not to choose sides, but acting like royalty and being boring as fuck does seem like something Mariah Carey would do.
After finally making things official over the weekend, Nicki Minaj and Keith Urban are in New York this afternoon for their first day at work with Mariah Carey and Randy Jackson as the judges on ‘American Idol’ this season. The hope of course is that Urban will bring in the country music demo, while Minaj can attract fans of marching bands and frightening entourages.
It seems the plan is still to have four judges this year, with Keith Urban and Nicki Minaj the front runners to join Jackson and Mariah Carey. Negotiations with Enrique Iglesias have ended because of cost considerations. Namely, the amount of closed captioning people they’d have to hire for a show that had Nicki Minaj AND Enrique Iglesias.