Jessica Hart (in the orange) is a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, and she and her sister Ashley went to Central Park and played frisbee in bikinis. Then, with their skin glistening in the sun, they seductively ate some watermelon and adjusted their breasts. After that they took their tops off and started kissing and making out. No, not really. I just made that up. That would have been awesome though, huh.
(note = Ashley looks better in that bikini than Jessica did when she wore it back in December. source = pacific coast)
ROMAN POLANSKI - will not be extradited by the Swiss to the US. He of course was convicted in 1977 of drugging a 13-year-old model and fucking her in the ass, but he fled the country and has never served a day in jail. Well maybe I’ll just go over there and fuck some of their teen models in the ass. Two can play this little game, Switzerland. (huff post)
EVERYONE GOT MARRIED THIS WEEKEND - including Carrie Underwood to NHL star Mike Fisher, Martin Lawrence to Shamicka Gibbs, and John Krasinski and Emily Blunt to each other. By contrast, I found a big box, painted numbers on it and pretended it was a race car. Oh god I’m so lonely! (people, people, people)
MEL GIBSON - has said offensive stuff for a long time, and here’s a list of some of it going back as far as 1991 when he said: “They take it up the ass. (points to his anus) This is only for taking a shit.” To make matters worse he was answering a question about Mexicans when he said that. (gawker)
SOPHIE TURNER - spent the weekend in a bikini in Malibu, and I think I see a shark behind her in one of these pictures. She should take her bikini top off and signal for help. (pacific coast)
This summer has been awful in terms of celebrity bikini pictures, so it was a welcome relief to see Aussie model Lara Bing wrap her awesome body in a little bikini this weekend in the Hamptons. And considering how nice her tits are this might be a weird thing to notice, but she has really nice teeth. These pictures would be a good ad for toothpaste.
(source = pacific coast news)
Australia must have the coolest vibe in the world because it seems like all their supermodels just go to the beach and hang out. Yesterday it was Victoria’s Secret model Jessica Hart on Bondi Beach in Sydney. We don’t get that here. Marisa Miller never puts on a tiny bikini and walks up and down the beach. Which really really sucks. Is there anything better than a hot girl with big tits walking around in a bikini? Yeah, you bet there is. As long as you’re a fag.
(image source = pacific coast)
Australia and their seemingly endless supply of hot bikini models are really starting to bug me. Because I’m not in Australia. I even had to start an Aussie Girl tag because of it. This is Aussie TV host Kelly Landry, who is fantastic looking and I’ve never even heard of her. The suicide rate for ugly girls down there must be like 190 percent. It’s why their population is so low. Or do the doctors even let those kids out? It seems just as likely that they look at the parents and then drown the baby if there’s a chance it won’t be sexy as hell.
(image source = flynet online)
BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE - were photographed makin out in Paris on the set of her new movie. Perhaps all part of their intricate plan to trick the media into thinking they’re still together, which is apparently crucial for some reason that no one has ever bothered to explain. (just jared)
BONER - from ‘Growing Pains’ was last seen in Vancouver 10 days ago, and this morning his dad from ‘Star Trek’ asked for the public’s help. I bet this goes really well. “Chief we just got a tip from Mr. Hugh G. Rection saying Boner has gone limp on the corner of Imfuckin and Yomama. Should I send paramedics?” (people)
CHARLIE SHEEN - has entered a rehab for addiction to alcohol and cocaine. Let’s hope he get’s the help he needs. Everyone deserves a four-thousandth chance. (radar)
ROB ZOMBIE - is directing an episode of ‘CSI: Miami’, and this is the preview for it. Like every other episode of this dumb show, it looks like a complete piece of shit, but this one is Rob Zombier. (foundry)
AUSTRALIAN GIRLS - are fucking terrific. I don’t even know what Sophie Turner does, but she’s doing an amazing job at it. Whatever the championship trophy is called in her field, it should be renamed in her honor. (pacific coast)
