Angelina Jolie is in Libya

By brendon April 05, 2011 @ 2:39 PM


I quickly wanna preface this with what Jennifer Aniston said when explaining why she spent her 41st birthday at a palatial resort in Mexico.

“(A friend) said to me, ’You come to Mexico all the time and Mexico is really hurting right now because of the swine flu and the drug trafficking and all of this sort of stuff.”
“It sort of made sense to sort of say ‘Hey, let’s help out Mexico’”

Okay now this, today, from Us

Angelina Jolie traveled to the Tunisian-Libyan border, where she spoke with refugees who had recently fled the fighting in Libya.
The purpose of Jolie’s visit to the embattled region: to highlight the need for greater international support for those affected by the crisis in Libya.
The Jolie-Pitt Foundation, established by Jolie and longtime love Brad Pitt in 2006, covered the costs for a flight of 177 people to return to their countries of origin– and purchased an ambulance to help support Tunisian efforts on the border to assist the injured arriving from Libya.

Some people still hate Angelina because she “stole” Pitt from Aniston, and never consider that maybe Aniston is just an annoying cunt and he left her for someone who is better in every way. In Anistons defense, her name is so synonymous with the word “bomb” maybe she’d like to go help in the Middle East but they won’t let her on a plane.

(image source = getty)

Jennifer Aniston is distancing herself from Chelsea Handler

By brendon December 22, 2010 @ 4:49 PM


When we last saw Jennifer Aniston, she was pouting (shocking, I know) about Chelsea Handler calling Angelina Jolie a “cunt”, immediately after Handler and Aniston went on vacation together. Apparently Aniston thought everyone would assume they spent the vacation trashing Angelina. And 10 points to Aniston, because she was correct, and that is in fact what everyone thinks.

Now, Popeater says Aniston has done what she does best: excruciating amounts of soul searching followed by feeling sorry for herself.

“Jen and Chelsea haven’t officially fallen out but they certainly won’t be going on vacation together for a long time unless Chelsea promises to never talk about Angelina again,” a friend of Chelsea’s tells me. “She understands that what Chelsea did was out of loyalty, but it didn’t help. In fact, it made things worse.”
“Jen is a very private person. It’s one thing to crash Angelina in private; it’s another to do it in public. Chelsea should have known better and is feeling Jen’s cold shoulder for her mistake.”

No, Jen is not a very private person. That’s why we’re still talking about this. Because she cried about Brad Pitt Brad Pitt Brad Pitt to anyone who would listen for 5 years. You could record every single word Pitt says for an entire year, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d swear he’d never even met Jennifer Ansiton.

Brad and Angelina might be getting married. Here.

By brendon December 17, 2010 @ 1:58 PM


Every few months there’s a story either saying Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are getting married or that they literally hate each other. Today it seems we’ve landed on… “married”! In Jodhpur, India. Splash says…

The couple has apparently chosen their spiritual guru Ram Lal Siyag to supervise their wedding. Siyag and his disciples have neither confirmed nor denied these rumours. Siyag practices Siddha yoga, and is said to have played harmoniser in the life of this power couple. He has visited the couple in America and provided guidance and clarity for the two.

Apparently there’s no real date set, just sometime in 2011. But, I mean, is this even a real marriage? Because it sounds about as legally binding as a “Worlds Greatest Grandpa” t-shirt.

Brad Pitt has the right idea

By brendon December 07, 2010 @ 10:57 AM


Last night was the big New York premiere for the Tourist, starring Angelina Jolie and Johny Depp, and when Jolie walked the red carpet with her lover Brad Pitt, he spent most of the time with his hand planted right on her luscious ass.

Meanwhile, over in LA, Jennifer Aniston made a little bow tie and top hat for her cats wedding this weekend. Lookin’ good, Mr. Boots!

Chelsea Handler called Angelina Jolie a “f***ing c***.”

By brendon December 06, 2010 @ 12:02 PM


Chelsea Handler (who was sleeping with the president of E when she got her talk show. which is on E. what a coincidence!) was in Mexico last week, spending her Thanksgiving vacation with new BFF Jennifer Aniston. Gee, I wonder what they talked about. says…

“(Angelina Jolie is) a homewrecker,” Handler, 35 (*), said.
“She can rescue as many babies from as many countries as she wants. I don’t f***ing believe you. She gives interviews, ‘I don’t have a lot of female friends.’ Because you’re a f***ing c*** ,” Handler bellowed.
“You’re a f***ing b***h!”

7 years. It’s been 7 god damn years since Jolie was cast in Mr and Mrs Smith. And yet, here we are. What’s more likely, that Jolie seduced Pitt, or that Aniston is an unstable asshole and drove Pitt away. It’s not his fault she can’t keep a boyfriend. On the bright side, if that bitter old bitches pussy gets any more neglected and ignored maybe Angelina will adopt it.

(*) 35? seriously? jesus christ she might as well have said 18.

Brad and Angelina and thier kids are adorable

By brendon November 05, 2010 @ 7:01 PM


Angelina Jolie is still in Budapest making her debut as a director, but today she took a break and she and Brad Pitt and their army of kids went to a park with all kinds of things to climb and even a zip line for Shiloh. And it was adorable. It was so saccharine it hurts my teeth just looking at it. They might as well adopt a baby panda and a tiger cub and dress them up in a little cowboy hat and a football player outfit.