Brad and Angelina might be getting married. Here.

By brendon December 17, 2010 @ 1:58 PM

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Every few months there’s a story either saying Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are getting married or that they literally hate each other. Today it seems we’ve landed on… “married”! In Jodhpur, India. Splash says…

The couple has apparently chosen their spiritual guru Ram Lal Siyag to supervise their wedding. Siyag and his disciples have neither confirmed nor denied these rumours. Siyag practices Siddha yoga, and is said to have played harmoniser in the life of this power couple. He has visited the couple in America and provided guidance and clarity for the two.

Apparently there’s no real date set, just sometime in 2011. But, I mean, is this even a real marriage? Because it sounds about as legally binding as a “Worlds Greatest Grandpa” t-shirt.

Brad Pitt has the right idea

By brendon December 07, 2010 @ 10:57 AM

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Last night was the big New York premiere for the Tourist, starring Angelina Jolie and Johny Depp, and when Jolie walked the red carpet with her lover Brad Pitt, he spent most of the time with his hand planted right on her luscious ass.

Meanwhile, over in LA, Jennifer Aniston made a little bow tie and top hat for her cats wedding this weekend. Lookin’ good, Mr. Boots!

Chelsea Handler called Angelina Jolie a “f***ing c***.”

By brendon December 06, 2010 @ 12:02 PM

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Chelsea Handler (who was sleeping with the president of E when she got her talk show. which is on E. what a coincidence!) was in Mexico last week, spending her Thanksgiving vacation with new BFF Jennifer Aniston. Gee, I wonder what they talked about. Us.com says…

“(Angelina Jolie is) a homewrecker,” Handler, 35 (*), said.
“She can rescue as many babies from as many countries as she wants. I don’t f***ing believe you. She gives interviews, ‘I don’t have a lot of female friends.’ Because you’re a f***ing c*** ,” Handler bellowed.
“You’re a f***ing b***h!”

7 years. It’s been 7 god damn years since Jolie was cast in Mr and Mrs Smith. And yet, here we are. What’s more likely, that Jolie seduced Pitt, or that Aniston is an unstable asshole and drove Pitt away. It’s not his fault she can’t keep a boyfriend. On the bright side, if that bitter old bitches pussy gets any more neglected and ignored maybe Angelina will adopt it.

(*) 35? seriously? jesus christ she might as well have said 18.

Brad and Angelina and thier kids are adorable

By brendon November 05, 2010 @ 7:01 PM

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Angelina Jolie is still in Budapest making her debut as a director, but today she took a break and she and Brad Pitt and their army of kids went to a park with all kinds of things to climb and even a zip line for Shiloh. And it was adorable. It was so saccharine it hurts my teeth just looking at it. They might as well adopt a baby panda and a tiger cub and dress them up in a little cowboy hat and a football player outfit.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are still real kissy

By brendon October 13, 2010 @ 1:50 PM

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Angelina Jolie is in Budapest today, making her directorial debut on a love story set during the Bosnian-Serbian war, and either she thinks genocide is funny or these two still really get along because she was giddy as a little girl when Brad Pitt showed up.

They’ve been together 7 years now, which is 8 years longer than the tabloids said they would be. Jennifer Aniston probably keeps an axe near her TV in case ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’ comes on, and fixates on the fact that Jolie only got the part because Nicole Kidman dropped out and Catherine Zeta Jones turned it down, but I bet Pitt would have left her for Zeta Jones or Kidman too. Why wouldn’t he? That bitch is awful. I’d rather be in a room with that thing in ‘Alien’ that lays eggs in your chest than Jennifer fucking Aniston.

(image source = splash news and inf)

Tuesday night headlines

By brendon September 28, 2010 @ 9:01 PM

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MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 4 – has added Josh Holloway from ‘Lost’ to the cast as a member of Tom Cruises team. His characters specialty is on missions where being really really handsome helps in some way. (hollywood reporter)

BRAD PITT – was always thought to be the only choice to play Professor Moriarty in the ‘Sherlock Holmes’ sequel, but today the role was given to Jared Harris, the son of legendary actor Richard Harris (here he is as a prisoner on ‘Fringe’.) It’s a terrible choice. If this guy was any good he’d be famous. Thanks for ruining the movie, dick. I swear to God you’re gonna pay for this! (latino review)

TRUE GRIT – has a new trailer. Can anything look better than a remake of the great John Wayne movie, directed by the Coen Brothers and starring Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Josh Brolin? Yes, as it turns out. Lots and lots of things. (quicktime)

BRITNEY SPEARS – did some shopping around West Hollywood in these kick ass shorts. For a bra you might ask? Nope. Apparently not.