Tuesday night headlines

By brendon September 28, 2010 @ 9:01 PM

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MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 4 – has added Josh Holloway from ‘Lost’ to the cast as a member of Tom Cruises team. His characters specialty is on missions where being really really handsome helps in some way. (hollywood reporter)

BRAD PITT – was always thought to be the only choice to play Professor Moriarty in the ‘Sherlock Holmes’ sequel, but today the role was given to Jared Harris, the son of legendary actor Richard Harris (here he is as a prisoner on ‘Fringe’.) It’s a terrible choice. If this guy was any good he’d be famous. Thanks for ruining the movie, dick. I swear to God you’re gonna pay for this! (latino review)

TRUE GRIT – has a new trailer. Can anything look better than a remake of the great John Wayne movie, directed by the Coen Brothers and starring Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Josh Brolin? Yes, as it turns out. Lots and lots of things. (quicktime)

BRITNEY SPEARS – did some shopping around West Hollywood in these kick ass shorts. For a bra you might ask? Nope. Apparently not.

angelina jolie looked hot as hell at the ‘salt’ premiere

By brendon July 20, 2010 @ 4:07 PM

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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been together 6 years now, and occasionally some jackass will claim they hate each other again, but you seem to hear that way less than you used to. Probably because they stubbornly refuse to break up, and instead insist on looking happy at things like last nights premiere of Jolies movie ‘Salt’.

She might be crazy and her legs sort of look like she’s been in a wheelchair for the past 3 years, but she’s still one of the hottest women on earth. If I were Pitt the only way I’d ever sleep with someone other than Angelina is if it turns out there’s two of them.

(source = getty images)

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jolie and pitt are in real trouble

By brendon March 26, 2010 @ 9:18 AM

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Angelina Jolie is in Venice this week filming ‘The Tourist’ with Johnny Depp, and despite weekly reports for 4 years that they secretly hate each other, Brad Pitt is there too with all 6 of their kids. And yesterday Angelina and their daughter Vivienne (one of the twins who will be 2 in July) hung out on the balcony of their hotel being adorable. The only way these pictures could be any cuter is if Angelina was holding Vivienne and Vivienne was holding a puppy dressed in a tiger outfit and it was taking a nap with it’s tongue hanging out.

(image source = pacific coast news)

Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp are having an affair!

By brendon March 04, 2010 @ 11:05 AM

Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp

No not really. But because Angelina Jolie took Billy Bob Thornton from Laura Dern when they worked on ‘Pushing Tin’ and Brad Pitt from Jennifer Ani-chin when they made ‘Mr. And Mrs Smith’, and now she’s making ‘the Tourist’ with Johnny Depp, you can expect some version of this story for the next three months. And that it will hurt Liev Schreibers feelings. “Hey I’m married, why didn’t anyone think she was gonna sleep with me?”

Johnny Depp’s longtime gal pal has no intention of joining the trail of brokenhearted Hollywood ladies left crying to Oprah Winfrey after Angelina Jolie stole their men.
So when Vanessa Paradis found out (Depp) and Jolie were to shoot a passionate love scene in their new movie “The Tourist,” she ordered Depp to find another gig.
“He’s currently trying to [get out of the movie], but I don’t know if he’s succeeded. But he’s trying and they’re talking about replacing him with Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio.”

Jolie is too PR smart for this, and by all accounts Depp is a very good guy so this whole thing is dumb. And he definitely won’t make the first move. In real life he anguishes over every word. “Um, yes, uh hey Angelina. I was wondering, uh, if you would care to, um, join me in, you know, uh, sexual … inter-intercourse.”

(image source = inf daily)

angelina jolie is fantastic

By brendon February 26, 2010 @ 12:49 PM

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The next few months are gonna suck because Angelina Jolie is in Paris filming ‘The Tourist’, and next week her co-star Johnny Depp is expected to arrive to begin their scenes together. So we can all look forward to endless tabloid stories about them doin it. Not that I would blame him of course. She’s fantastic looking. Any guy who can be in close contact with her for more than a few minutes without trying to slam his penis into her when she’s not looking is either gay or a martian or more likely a gay martian.

morning headlines

By brendon February 24, 2010 @ 12:49 PM

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BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE – were photographed makin out in Paris on the set of her new movie. Perhaps all part of their intricate plan to trick the media into thinking they’re still together, which is apparently crucial for some reason that no one has ever bothered to explain. (just jared)

BONER - from ‘Growing Pains’ was last seen in Vancouver 10 days ago, and this morning his dad from ‘Star Trek’ asked for the public’s help. I bet this goes really well. “Chief we just got a tip from Mr. Hugh G. Rection saying Boner has gone limp on the corner of Imfuckin and Yomama. Should I send paramedics?” (people)

CHARLIE SHEEN - has entered a rehab for addiction to alcohol and cocaine. Let’s hope he get’s the help he needs. Everyone deserves a four-thousandth chance. (radar)

ROB ZOMBIE - is directing an episode of ‘CSI: Miami’, and this is the preview for it. Like every other episode of this dumb show, it looks like a complete piece of shit, but this one is Rob Zombier. (foundry)

AUSTRALIAN GIRLS - are fucking terrific. I don’t even know what Sophie Turner does, but she’s doing an amazing job at it. Whatever the championship trophy is called in her field, it should be renamed in her honor. (pacific coast)