We Care That Cardi B’s Basement Ass Implants Led To Leakage

April 10, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  If you blinked then you might have missed Cardi B’s rise to fame as the sassy knocked up rapper the world didn’t know it didn’t need. She possesses all the prerequisites for the Jennifer Lawrence-y type of stardom... READ MORE

Katy Perry Has A “Disgusting” Talent

March 8, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

And yes, it is her singing. JK. Katy Perry is still trying to make the revamped American Idol a thing, and while doing hosting duties, she had a mini talent competition with a contestant. Actually she did that basic... READ MORE

Amy Schumer Talked About Sucking D During Her Vows

February 27, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Our trim little wet vac was talking with Nikki Glaser on SiriusXM when she claimed to have cried while writing touching words about gargling with her hubby's baby batter. READ MORE

A Very Very Very Fat Demi Lovato Deletes Fat Picture

February 23, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Cue the National Geographic music, because you’re about to be taken on a wild safari adventure full of surprises and even some thrills thanks to this deleted Instagram picture of Demi Lovato. She appears to be a dead ringer for... READ MORE

J Law Catches Heat For Sexy Dress In Cold Weather

February 23, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I’m counting down the days until Jennifer Lawrence goes away. A full year may not be long enough, I hope she decides to double it. Democracy obviously needs her and she’s being more annoying than usual. The poster woman... READ MORE

Jennifer Lawrence Wants To Have Sex With Timotheé Chalamet

February 21, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

My co-workers and I just had a rousing conversation hypothesizing what could be going on in Jennifer Lawrence’s head right now, because she’s obviously on the cusp of a mental breakdown, and we settled on either tail-end-of-America’s-sweetheart-status syndrome or Adderall.... READ MORE

Mariah Carey May Have Sucked One In The Name Of Satan

February 11, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Mariah Carey growing up in a satanic sex cult would explain so much of her eccentric diva behavior as an adult. Only someone who used their snatch to please Satan could hate Christmas so much. Allegations are flooding in... READ MORE

Kate Upton Reveals Reason For #MeThree! Allegations

February 9, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Kate Upton rocked half-empty Ohio malls everywhere when she came out with explosive sexual harassment allegations against Guess co-founder and current creative director Paul Marciano. The mastermind behind the official brand for Toledo sex parties hosted by overweight 30-something... READ MORE

Adrianne Palicki Boobs Might Save G.I. Joe Retaliation

March 30, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Rumor has it, this G.I. Joe movie has been sitting in a can for many years now. The release date has seen more bumps than Paris Hilton during a work play vacay in Medellin (that was a fucking reach).... READ MORE

Gerard Butler Wants to Have Sex With Ashley Judd

March 21, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Gerard Butler wants to have sex with every woman. He’s had sex with every woman. But at the premiere of his movie Olympus Has Fallen last night, he checked Ashley Judd up and down like he was plotting his... READ MORE