Warner Bros has released this picture of Johnny Depp in the Tim Burton version of ‘Dark Shadows’, where he apparently doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he’s a vampire. He’s as vampiry as anyone could ever look, short of just shape shifting into a bat and say “squeak squeak” for 2 hours. .
10.13.2011 the Lone Ranger movie is back on
Back in September, the Lone Ranger movie starring Johnny Depp as Tonto was shut down because Disney didn’t want to pay 250 million dollars to make a movie about Indian shape shifting werewolves. But now it’s back on, because paying 215 million to make a movie about Indian shape shifting werewolves is more reasonable. Hopefully that will still be enough to buy all the bronzer needed to make Johnny Depp look like an Indian.
source = variety
Johnny Depp tells Vanity Fair this month that he doesn’t like photo shoots very much, and by that I mean he compares them to being raped.
“Well, you just feel like you’re being raped somehow. Raped … It feels like a kind of weird — just weird, man.” He’ll pose with fans, “But whenever you have a photo shoot or something like that, it’s like — you just feel dumb. It’s just so stupid.”
It would be easy to say he was exaggerating, but many photographers are gay, and Depp, though an astoundingly nice guy that everyone likes, doesn’t seem all that smart. Someone should get some puppets and go have Johnny explain EXACTLY what the photographer had him do.
On Friday, Disney shut down production on a Lone Ranger movie starring Johnny Depp, produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and directed by Gore Verbinski, because the budget was already estimated at 250 million dollars. But before explaining how that’s possible, let’s quickly mention the Lone Ranger origin story, which is surprisingly bad ass.
Six Texas Rangers are ambushed by a band of outlaws led by Butch Cavendish. (Left for dead), a Native American named Tonto stumbles on the scene and recognizes the lone survivor, Dan Reid, as the man who had saved his life some time in the past. He nurses Reid back to health. The two men dig six graves for Reid’s comrades, among them Reid’s brother, and Reid fashions a black mask using material from his brother’s vest to conceal his identity.
After that they go get Cavendish. It’s a classic tale of justice and revenge, but according to Hollywood, if a movie doesn’t have Indian werewolves in it, how good could it really be? And so, according to Hollywood Elsewhere…
A 3.29.09 draft of (the Lone Ranger) script makes it clear it was going to be at least partly about some kind of Native American wolfbeast tearing victims apart and leaving a bloody mess.
Now that’s more like it. Every movie should have werewolves all the time, everywhere, and all the old movies should have werewolves digitally added. If you’re a movie without a werewolf, fuck you.
“It was always going to be a big Bruckheimer CG movie with traditional Bruckheimer elements with an eye toward being a tentpole, totally Pirates-style.”
“It was never going to be a semi-traditional western…it was never going to be Zorro.”
“It was going to be a Tonto show mainly. Tonto as the top dog and more dominant than the Lone Ranger. Tonto and the Indian spirits like Obi Wan Kenobi and the force. The driving engine was going to be Native American occult aspects worked in with werewolves and special effects. But flavored with doses of Native American spirituality in a serious way.”
Yes, serious, I get that. The premise is very respectful. Indians are like Luke Skywalker, and sometimes they transform into wolf beasts and tear people apart. If you asked an Indian high priest to describe his religion, he couldn’t have said it any better.
JESSICA ALBA - gave birth to her second child Saturday night, another baby girl, named Haven Garner Warren. There’s no word on if Alba is home from the hospital yet, but since she’s Mexican she’ll probably stop at the mall first to have Havens ears pierced. (facebook)
AUSTIN POWERS 4 - is or is not on the way. Hit Fix says the deal is done, Deadline says nothing is official yet. For now, Halloween stores everywhere will just have to cross their fingers. (hit fix, deadline)
TARA REID - tweeted that she got married in Greece on Saturday just a few hours after tweeting that she was engaged. Some thought the lucky fella was ex-boyfriend Michael Lilleund or ex-fiance Michael Axtmann, but it’s actually some guy named Zack Kehayov, which I bet will be news to Tara once the ouzo wears off. (people)
JOHNNY DEPP - was reuniting with director Gore Verbinski and producer Jerry Bruckheimer, who first teamed up to make ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’, to play Tonto in a film version of ‘The Lone Ranger’, but Disney shut production down on Friday because the budget was already at 250 million. It’s a lot of money, but try to think of even one western that cost less that 200 million. You can’t name even one can you? If you wan’t to film two guys on horses, it’s gonna cost you. (la times)
BROOKE BURKE - spent the weekend with her husband David Charvet on the beach in St. Barths, all part of the MILF bikini contest that Hollywood was apparently holding. (splash)
10.07.2010 Johnny Depp is the nicest guy on earth
Johnny Depp is one of the few people in Hollywood that you never ever hear anything bad about in any way. He’s talented, he’s humble, he works hard, and he does things like tip waiters $4,000.
So what did Mr. Wonderful do this time? Oh nothing. Just showed up unannounced in a little girls classroom, in full character as Capt. Jack Sparrow, after she wrote him a letter asking for help staging a ‘mutiny’ against the teachers. The Daily Mail says…
The school was told just ten minutes before that Depp would be arriving and two blacked-out cars swept through the school gates.
An onlooker said she heard the most ‘incredible screams of joy’ as the actor, in full make-up, then entered the school.
In an interview on London Tonight after the visit, Beatrice revealed what she had written in the letter to the star - or rather his salty seadog alter ego.
She said: ‘Captain Jack Sparrow, At Meridian Primary School, we are a bunch of budding young pirates and we were having a bit of trouble mutiny-ing against the teachers, and we’d love if you could come and help.
‘Beatrice Delap, aged nine, a budding pirate.’
She said that she was then asked by the star to make herself known from the assembled pupils once he arrived, and gave her a cuddle.
Beatrice marvelled: ‘He gave me a hug and he said, “Maybe we shouldn’t mutiny today ‘cos there are police outside monitoring me.”‘
When his daughter was sick in 2007, with a rather serious blood disease after stepping on a rusty nail, Depp would go to the hospital as Sparrow, in full character then too, and read books to groups of kids for hours at a time. And after she recovered, he went back to the hospital, completely unannounced, and gave them 2 million dollars.
In other words, this guy is a real jerk. He needs to knock this shit off before every girl on earth starts thinking their boyfriend should be like Johnny Depp. I need a good Chris Brown story right now to balance things out. Maybe I don’t go read stories to sick children, but I didn’t punch a girl in the face 40 times either, so overall, if you look at the big picture, I think I’m still doin ok.
