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Amber Heard and Johnny Depp Lasted More Than a Year

Amber Heard filed for divorce from Johnny Depp. They were married for fifteen months. Enough time for nine different celebrity magazine cover stories about their fabulous love affair. Heard cited irreconcilable difference. Most notably she's a thirty year old lesbian and he's a a fifty-two year old who mumbles incoherently.read more

Johnny Depp And Amber Heard Apologize And Shit Around The Web

You'll recall that Johnny Depp and Amber Heard got in trouble down under when they snuck their rat-like dogs into Australia. Today they were forced to make an apology PSA video that is super weird. They look like they are on more drugs than Chateau MarmontBelushi. The Aussies should put the two of them to sleep. (TMZ) Pam Anderson does some TERRIBLE stand-up. (Last Men On Earth) Hottie Nalu Kasmierski is buckass...read more

Johnny Depp Back On The Chain Gang

Johnny Depp is reportedly facing up to 10 years in prison and $263,000 in fines for bringing his two lap dogs into Australia on his private jet along with a bunch of caviar and a shipment of ascots. That's if he's prosecuted. By that rationale I'm facing a thousand years in solitary for jaywalking the last thirty years while publicly intoxicated. The pilot of the plane could also be on the hook for two years, which...read more

Depp's Dogs On Death's Door And Shit Around The Web

Walking caricature Johnny Depp sneaked his yorkies into Australia and the Aussies are pissed because every time the white man brings new animals onto the island continent, more kangaroos die. Look for the dogs to be slaughter in the bush. Read all about Depp's Australian trouble. (TMZ) Miley Cyrus dresses like a whore butterfly. (Egotastic) Kourtney Kardashian poses in a swimsuit with a snake. Unfortunately the snake...read more

Johnny Depp Cash Machine

Johnny Depp has a side gig with Harper Collins where he publishes books which have already been written and keeps the money. His pretentiously monikered Infinitum Nihil company has re-published a few books which were out of print until it was realized a super handsome man cared about them. Depp'slabelhas previously re-releasedbooks about Woodie Guthrie and Yoko Ono, which officially tips my scale into disliking him as...read more

Johnny Depp Has Standards

Johnny Depp chose a press junket to declare that actors who use their celebrity to make musical appearances make him sick. Odd mostly because Johnny Deep is an actor who uses his celebrity to make musical appearances. Or maybe Marilyn Manson pulls him out of the crowd randomly to jam with him on stage. After herpes and botulism, myopia is the greatest afflicter of famous people in Hollywood. Depp didn't mention...read more

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Amber Heard Brought A 1920s Gangster To Her Movie Premiere

Johnny Depp has appeared to have moved on from his two-decade run as a living rock star pirate in favor of this new look as an early 20th century gangster, or at least a middle-aged asshole who still shows up to swing revivals. He joined his girlfriend Amber Heard at the premiere for her new film, 3 Days to Kill, which is a really original movie about a retired spy with a family who has to go back to work to stop a...read more

Johnny Depp Is Hanging Out With One Direction Now

Johnny Depp has always liked to hang around with rock stars, make cameos in music videos and even perform on some albums, but it looks like the 50-year old's mid-life crisis is getting a little worse than we'd previously thought. Sure, Johnny dresses like he's 17-years old and he's dating a girl who is 23-years younger than him, but hanging out with Zayn from One Direction (right) and Alexander DeLeon (from some other...read more

'Lone Ranger' has a trailer too

It's been a few months since we got to see Helena Bonham Carter act opposite Johnny Depp in a funny outfit, so here's the first trailer for ‘The Lone Ranger: A History of Trains in America and Their Impact on the Old West' (HD here). As Depp reminds us (while speaking traditional Hollywood Movie Indian language. Which is just english but where the cadence stabs every word and makes him sound mildly retarded),...read more

afternoon headlines, with naked Brooke Hogan

TONY SCOTT - had his suicide filmed by several people who are trying to sell the footage. Inspiring "I Believe I Can Fly" song, not included. (guardian) JOHNNY DEPP - is being offered $95 million to star in 'Pirates Of The Caribbean 5', because 'Pirates Of The Caribbean 4' made $1.04 billion. Clearly Lindsay hasn't figured out that these are about a bisexual drunk who steals or else she would have sued by now. (the...read more

those arent Jordan Carvers eyes "Johnny Depp"

If you're making a movie about Johnny Depp, but can only afford Johnny Depps non-union Mexican equivalent (presumably named Juanny Depp), it would be a good idea to have him stand next to a skinny girl with huge tits in a bikini so maybe people won't notice. And so that's what the producers of ‘Who Killed Johnny' did. If she has sex with him I'll fucking die, by the way. (image source = bauer griffin)read more

Johnny Depp turns gay women straight

Amber Heard has been cured of her homosexuality, and she didn't even need to go to prayer camp. All she needed was for Johnny Depp to buy her a horse. Reports surfaced recently that (Heard) received a horse from Depp, her ‘Rum Diary' costar,as a present. The actress, who dated female photographer Tasya van Ree for several years, has been quite open about her affinity for Depp. She told Guest of a Guest last year that...read more

Johnny Depp is single

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have been together for almost 15 years, and though they never married they have two kids together (13 year old daughter Lily-Rose and 10 year old son Jack) but after months of rumors that their relationship was in trouble, today it was officially announced that they have in fact separated. "Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have amicably separated. Please respect their privacy and, more...read more

heres why Johnny Depp has a dead bird on his head

Despite a wide variety of idiotic theories (like this Marilyn Manson one), Johnny Depp now says that he owes his look as Tonto in the upcoming Lone Ranger movie to a painting of a Crow Indian. And the fact that he saw it wrong. EW says... "I'd actually seen a painting by an artist named Kirby Sattler, and I looked at the face of this warrior and thought: That's it.' "It just so happened Sattler had painted a bird...read more

'Dark Shadows' Has a Trailer, Suprise It's Terrible

It's no secret that Tim Burton no longer directs a film without casting his wife, Johnny Depp Helena Bonham Carter. There are a few other things that you can almost always count on from Tim, all of which appear in the new trailer for 'Dark Shadows.' - Recycled dark set pieces from 'Edward Scissorhands,' 'Beetlejuice,' 'Batman,' 'Sleepy Hollow,' 'Sweeney Todd...' - An awful, dry joke with a reaction shot of Johnny...read more