JWoww Jumps The Shame Train

JWoww, also known as patient zero, recently had a baby and was photographed by some paparazzi looking like a baby just came out of her moments earlier. Some tabloids made snarky jabs at her for being a not toned grease monkey with puke in her hair or something, just... read more

Snooki Got Married

While you weren't caring, Snooki ornately married the first dude who didn't ask to finish on her tits. He's a good solid something or other who accepts the fact Snooki looks radically altered from when they first met. I can see dramatic plastic surgery having a positive... read more

Country Troll Is Getting Married, City Troll Comes to Visit

Snooki already has some number of babies by some dude I thought she was already married to. I guess that never happened. With a new reality show for the mummified and brain dead, the production team has the nuptials keyed in for the season. Bachelorette parties for... read more

JWoww Is Bravely Plain

JWoww was apparently unhappy about speculationthat she had plastic surgery on her face and fought back by posting a plain faced photo, so her regular face, minus eight pounds of Lancome and melted Jolly Ranchers. JWoww proceeded to talk shit about how humble and... read more

JWoww Wants None Sex

You don't get ahead in life without taking risks. Like JWoww declaring she won't be having sex for at least a year with her boyfriend she forgot to marry before she just had his baby. If it's not your physical resemblance to a well-worn inflatable sex puppet, the lack of... read more

Pregnancy Looks Delicious on JWoww

I'm usually skeptical when people I've never heard of start making babies with people I don't care about, but JWoww certainly seems to be bucking the trend. I admire a woman who takes a big risk of ruining the only thing we ever slightly cared about her so she can have a... read more

What Is The Exact Opposite Of A MILF?

MTV held its big Upfront event last night in New York City to announce that the network is still in the business of making of the worst and most morally reckless shows on television, which is why Snooki and JWoww seemed so proud to help announce that their show has been... read more

JWoww Announces Her Pregnancy By Tweeting Picture of Her Brain

J-Woww of Jersey Shore and nothing else ever fame announced on Twitter that she's having a baby with some guy she previously announced on Twitter was her fiance. Someday we'll do a historic look back at all the celebrity bastard baby announcements on Twitter and... read more

Snooki & J-Woww Lash Out At Jersey Shore Community On Twitter

The Jersey Shore community of Pelican Island doesn't want J-Woww and Snooki shooting their reality spin-off series in their town. The residents are none too pleased with the prospect of these two greasy spoons disrupting their little burgh still recovering from Hurricane... read more

Snooki Has Almost Finished Imploding

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and Jenni "JWoWW" Farley were among the guests of honor at Self Magazine's Rock the Summer party at Kiss and Fly in New York City, and it's just remarkable how different these two look from their days as the stars of MTV's The Jersey Shore. It... read more

JWOWW Is An 'Actress' Now, But It's Not Porn

Now that Snooki has become a huge success at being a human bobblehead doll, her castmate from Jersey Shore Jenni Farley, AKA JWOWW, has also figured out what it is she wants to be when she grows up. Because it takes practically no talent at all, JWOWW has fit right in as... read more

The Situation Gets Reality Show Literally No One Asked For

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino has started shooting the reality show absolutely no one wants to see. You'll recall that the Sitch, (ugh), is the 47-year-old troglodyte from The Jersey Shore that was always showing people his tummy. Human herp sores Jwoww and Snooki have... read more