Now that Snooki has become a huge success at being a human bobblehead doll, her castmate from Jersey Shore Jenni Farley, AKA JWOWW, has also figured out what it is she wants to be when she grows up. Because it takes practically no talent at all, JWOWW has fit right in as one of the new young cast members on the soap opera One Life to Live, which has been downgraded from actual TV series to something lonely women watch on Hulu.
She talked about why (money) she took this interesting next step (money) in her career (money) at the show’s New York City premiere earlier this week.
“My manager suggested I should give it a try since I want to get into acting,” JWOWW said of her guest role on the show.
“I grew up watching most of them with my grandmother. It became our thing… Snuggling up on the couch after school with my grandma catching up on soaps.” (Radar)
She also defended MTV’s Teen Mom show, claiming that teenage pregnancies dropped in the U.S. after that show debuted. But that’s probably just because the meth kills them first.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has started shooting the reality show absolutely no one wants to see. You’ll recall that the Sitch, (ugh), is the 47-year-old troglodyte from The Jersey Shore that was always showing people his tummy. Human herp sores Jwoww and Snooki have their own show, so why not The Situation? Because he’s an uninteresting D-Bag. There is nothing entertaining about this guy. At least with Snooki and Jwoww you can laugh at them like people used to do with freaks and deformed prostitutes. But The Situation is just…boring.
Go to any bar in Staten Island, The Bronx, New Jersey, or Long Island and there will be 58 Situations. Pathetic aging Guidos making up for receding hair lines and loss of penile vitality by ‘roiding up and becoming sexual predators. I’d say MTV will have the good sense to cancel this program early in its run, but knowing the former music video network, they’ll probably just wait for him to get arrested or die and move on to the next one.
JWoww and Snooki were in Cancun this weekend, doing whatever the hell it is they do for MTV these days, and although J strutted around in a bikini (closeup picture of her mound and cellulite as she struggles up some sand, thankfully included) Snooki stayed covered up for the most part so you couldn’t see how pregnant she is. Oh, I know. I was inconsolable about it too. She really knows how to keep the public wanting more.
Someone let JWoww design her own line of swimwear, and, as literally everyone who has ever heard of JWoww would have guessed, the result was animal prints on a bikini even sluttier than regular bikinis.
Her line uses a unique fabrication that lets women remove their bikini straps without the rest of the top falling off, thanks to a revolutionary silicon-based adhesive activated by body temperature.
There can’t be that many girls who will be impressed to know a bikini is JWoww approved, and it’s probably the same amount who would trust a bikini top thats held up by optimism. So it’s kind of hard to see what it is JWoww brings to the table on this.
JWoww went to New York yesterday for the launch of her exclusive fragrance line at K-Mart, which is exactly the kind of place I assumed would have an exclusive fragrance line from JWoww. It’s surprising more of the ‘Jersey Shore’ cast doesn’t have perfumes and colognes, because you can’t watch that show for 5 minutes without thinking, “I bet those people smell terrific.”
DAVE CHAPELLE – walked around NYC this weekend, and if you’re wondering what he’s been doing since he left ‘The Chapelle Show’, the answer apparently is, “millions of push-ups.” (flynet)
BRAVE – has a new brand new teaser trailer out today. It would seem next summers Pixar movie tells the timeless tale of Bear vs Ginger. (trailer addict)
NEIL PATRICK HARRIS – announced his engament to David Burtka on twitter this weekend, shortly after New York passed a law to allow gay marriage. It should be a beautiful ceremony, assuming God doesn’t smite the state under a shower of fire and brimstone first. (popeater)
DANIEL CRAIG AND RACHEL WEISZ – secretly got married in New York last Wednesday. They of course didn’t have to wait like Neil Patrick Harris did because their love isn’t an affront to our vengeful God. (daily mail)
JWOWW – and the cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ are back from filming season 4 in Italy, and being surrounded by all that beauty and culture must have been a life changing experience because yesterday she went to the gym with her tits on display. Oh wait never mind. (inf, splash)