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Seal Is a Great Divorced Dad

Seal has got the divorced dad thing down pretty pat. On his custody weekend he took all of his kids and a couple other mulatto children that he accidentally thought were his kids to the mall to buy candy, scooters, and iPods. As he bribed the kids with gifts, he asked them if their mom was still banging that dude he hired to protect them and then told them not to hate her for being born without a soul. He also had...read more

Joan Rivers Compared Heidi Klum To The Holocaust

Nobody gave a crap that supermodel Heidi Klum had allegedly been cheating on Seal, her husband of seven years, with her bodyguard and current boyfriend, because she's 39-years old and still looks better than 99% of the women on this planet. And her vagina might as well be the gates to Heaven, because Seal only just started dating again and his new girlfriend is so average that nobody gives a crap who she is or what...read more

are Heidi Klum and Seal getting a divorce or not

Pretty much the first thing Seal did after it was announced that he and Heidi Klum were getting a divorce was go on the Ellen DeGeneres show (with his wedding ring still on) and sing 'Let's Stay Together'. Then there was talk that maybe Klum didn't really want a divorce but she had to do something drastic to convince him to go to counseling for his temper, and then last night she was out with her wedding ring on too....read more

Seal is still wearing his wedding ring

This won't make a ton of sense, but yesterday, just a few hours after Heidi Klum and Seal announced that they were getting a divorce and ending their 7 year marriage, Seal was wearing his wedding ring and saying how awesome Heidi Klum is on the Ellen Degeneres show: "Yes, I am still wearing my ring. I think it's just pretty much a token of how I feel about this woman. We have eight years. "Just because we have decided...read more

Heidi Klum is single

Heidi Klum and Seal have had 4 kids during their seemingly happy 7 year marriage, but now those kids are orphans or whatever because Klum and Seal are getting a divorce. Last night, they released this controversial statement... "We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other, but our six-year-old son Henry still wets the bed. It's so embarrassing! We can't...read more

Heidi Klum is in a bikini

Heidi Klum spent this morning with her husband Seal and their 4 kids on a yacht off the coast of Ibiza, Spain, because yes, the whole god damn world has a yacht except for me and you apparently. (image source = bauer griffin)read more

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Heidi Klum looks like a good mom

Heidi Klum spent the morning playing with her four kids at a community center in Soho today, including Leni, her 7-year-old daughter with Formula 1 team owner Flavio Briatore, and Henry Samuel, her giant 5-year-old son with Seal. After that she probably went and had some more kids with some other guys. The whore. (image source = pacific coast and inf and flynet)read more

heidi klum is pregnant

Heidi Klum is so impossibly gd good looking that, even when you combine her DNA with Seals, hers is so hot the result is a cute kid. She could probably mate with an actual seal and the result would still be a kid better looking than 90 percent of earth. And its a good thing too because those two are at again. Sources confirm that the supermodel mogul is expecting her third child with music-man hubby Seal.The couple has...read more

SEAL IS COOL

Seal looks like something from Star Trek, yet he’s super rich and he gets to stab Heidi Klum every night. And since I rank people according to the quality of kitty they hit, it's safe to say he and I are total badasses. Adding to his legend is hollywood.tv, who today has video of him yelling at some paparazzi, calling them scum, refusing to shake their hands, and answering “how do you feel” with “ask your mother how I...read more

THIS COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE

Heidi Klum went shopping in Beverly Hills yesterday with her 2-year-old son, Henry Günther Ademola Dashtu Samuel. Henry is the first of two kids she's had with husband Seal. And I guess she had a second one because the first one went surprisingly well. Considering his dad is Seal, this could have gone much much worse. He could have had hooves or flippers or something, but instead he's actually kinda cute. He looks like...read more

HEIDI + SEAL + HALLOWEEN = DORKS

I can't even imagine how much time and energy has to be spent to make Heidi Klum look this dorky. I'm not even positive what this is. Is the snake eating the apple? I don't have a bible in front of me but I'm pretty sure the snake didn't eat the apple. But she and Seal do something like this every year. They should thank god they found each other, because the only other people who do this kinda thing generally have to...read more

SEAL AND HEIDI KLUM AT THE EMMYS

Hitler would be so pissed right now.read more

HEIDI KLUM IS NAKED

Supermodel Heidi Klum and husband Seal admit to having naked portraits of themselves adorning the walls of their home. The nude pics are hidden in the couples bedroom and bathrooms to keep them hidden away and private."I have very nice pictures of my husband in my bathroom. We don't really have naked pictures of us all over the place but he would have the occasional one of me and I have the occasional one of him."This...read more