Bow Down To The Probably Non-Existent Terrorists

By Matt December 17, 2014 @ 12:20 PM

Int

James Rogen and Seth Franco cancelled all their media appearances for The Interview. I guess it’s all fun and games until you figure maybe Virginia Tech. Or Sony forced their hand because a Dead Franco is a serious insurance payoff. Not to be outdone Landmark Theaters cancelled the NYC premiere of the film, soon followed by other theater chains announcing they would no longer be showing the movie out of safety concerns. Where’s all that These Colors Don’t Run shit when you need it? You just handed a winning ticket voucher to a pudgy virgin ten thousand miles away who I heard is a bad tipper. Or a skinny redhead in Suburban Denver. I have no idea, I’m just making shit up. That’s the whole point. Maybe they don’t exist. North Korea exists but when’s the last time they bombed a movie theater in the U.S.? Grow a pair. Get your spine and your fucking Orange Crush and buy a ticket. We’re America, not Ameri-pussy. I also just made that up. You can steal it.

Photo Credit: Twitter 

Sony Chief Pressures Seth Rogen

By Matt December 12, 2014 @ 6:33 AM

Kirai

Kazuo Hirai, the Chief Executive of Sony, ordered a part of The Interview where Kim Jong Un’s head blows up to be toned down, even though he rarely if ever oversees the content of films. This came after the film was denounced by Un as ‘terrorism’, meaning Hirai just made America look like a pnsy bitch. Seth Rogen co-directed the film, and had to haggle particulars of what percentage of Un’s hair could be on fire and how many burn marks he could have on his face because that’s important. Finally Rogen took a stand after Sony kept butting in:

“The head explosion can’t be more obscured than it is because we honestly feel that if it’s any more obscured, you won’t be able to tell it’s exploding and the joke won’t work.”

People in high paying positions always find a way to justify their worth, whether its arbitrarily nit picking hair fires or belittling interns on a whim. Un’s head still blows up, and someone still hacked your computers because they were pissed. Don’t you wish now you’d taken a stand instead of being intimidated by that Hyundai with tinted windows parked outside your house all week? Grow a pair Kazuo, our enemies don’t respect us when we retreat.

Photo Credit: Getty Images 

Rogen Says NFL Defends Dirtbags And Shit Around The Web

By Jack September 08, 2014 @ 12:07 PM

453806104

Former fatty Seth Rogen called the NFL on their shit by pointing out that they have harsher punishments for smoking weed than for beating a woman like Ray Rice did. Shame on us, America. It took a Canadian pothead to point out our hypocrisy in our preeminent sporting event.

Read all of Seth’s truth bombs. (Dlisted)

Rita Rusic is 54 and looks better than your girlfriend in her bikini. (Egotastic)

¡Daniela Lopez Osorio en un bikini es muy caliente! (Popoholic)

Lea Michele’s sideboob is more talented than she is. (COED)

Amanda Cerny is a hotter than the hitchhikers I pick up and mur…give a ride. (Hollywood Tuna)

Nicki Minaj shows lame white models how to “anaconda”. (Drunken Stepfather)

Prince William put his royal man yogurt in Kate Middleton. (The Superficial)

Seth Rogen Pisses Off North Korea And Shit Around The Web

By Jack June 25, 2014 @ 3:34 PM

488469843

The North Koreans have their commie panties in a bunch about Seth Rogen and James Franco’s latest shitty movie, The Interview. In the film the comedy duo assassinate North Korea’s lesbian midget leader Kim Jong-Un. The North Koreans called the film an act of terrorism. For once I agree with them.

Read all about the Korean threats against the fat guy from Knocked Up. (BroBible)

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog poops all over all the World Cup nonsense. (Huffington Post)

Miranda Kerr nipples to drink from. (Drunken Stepfather)

Hayden Panettiere shows off her swollen preggo tits in a bikini. (Popoholic)

A guy is suing Justin Bieber for using his credit card to buy abortions and coke. (For The Bros)

Khloe Kardashian is the worst thing to happen to Native Americans since Andrew Jackson. (Defamer)

Megan Fox is tired of being a working mom. When was the last time she worked? (Dlisted)

Seth Rogen Called Justin Bieber ‘A Piece Of Shit’ (VIDEO)

By Travis March 14, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

Seth Rogen and Dave Franco were guests on a special edition of Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live at SXSW on Wednesday night, and host Andy Cohen made sure to dig up Seth’s distaste for the antics of douchebag dipshit singer Justin Bieber. Specifically, Andy asked Seth his opinion of Justin and he didn’t hold back in letting us all know that he thinks the prince of pop and mop bucket pissing is an arrogant little nut sore. My words, not his. Seth’s words are much more to the point and accurate, as even Dave Franco agrees with him. Whatever, we’re all correct.

Don’t You Walk Out on Seth Rogen (VIDEO)

By Lex February 28, 2014 @ 5:27 PM

Let’s concede the fact that Congressmen as a group are a swollen zit of incompetence, alcohol abuse, and petty ambition. Even the well-meaning Mr. Smiths quickly get assimilated into the polished turd  of big dollar democracy. Largely a group of self-serving assholes. But even assholes don’t deserve a lecture from Seth Rogen on the importance of sitting through his presentation. Seth was in the capital city on behalf of an Alzheimer’s charity to give a pointed speech about how his mother-in-law thinks her shoes belong on her nose, thanks to early onset of the disease. It was perhaps the most entertaining several televised minutes in Washington since Mayor Berry got caught scoring the rock on camera. But, you don’t invite a Hollywood comedic actor to a Senate Committee for the deep science explanations. This isn’t a Roland Emmerich disaster pic.

After the fact, Seth got all pissy that most of the Senators came to snap their photo with him then either dozed off or didn’t stick around to hear the speech:

Two of them were falling asleep during the first part of the testimony, literally. I saw it happening, I think it is indicative of the mentality that we find so frustrating is that it seems to be low priority. It seems like these people don’t care. That’s the direct message they are giving by leaving during the testimony, is that they don’t care.

Okay, first, grow up. The percentage of people in this country who think that Congress cares about them is down to 12%. That’s the same percentage who believe Elvis is living in a basement prison deep beneath the Las Vegas strip. Don’t play the rube for sympathy points. Second, these same comb-overs voted to  spend $350 billion this past year on non-Medicare related health spending. If money is how people in Washington show they care, and it is, they do care. Or they’re pretending to care so they don’t have to find real jobs. Same difference. Maybe cancer and The AIDS and finding a cure for the Hilton sisters blisters is given more money than Alzheimer’s. I don’t know. And maybe more money should be spent on Alzheimer’s, it’s pretty fucking horrid. But these geezers dozing and walking out on the hearing aren’t going to decrease the level of funding for Alzheimer’s research, in fact, this big media storm might just cause research funding to increase. But, then, you knew that, didn’t you, Seth Rogen?