Seth Rogen and Dave Franco were guests on a special edition of Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live at SXSW on Wednesday night, and host Andy Cohen made sure to dig up Seth’s distaste for the antics of douchebag dipshit singer Justin Bieber. Specifically, Andy asked Seth his opinion of Justin and he didn’t hold back in letting us all know that he thinks the prince of pop and mop bucket pissing is an arrogant little nut sore. My words, not his. Seth’s words are much more to the point and accurate, as even Dave Franco agrees with him. Whatever, we’re all correct.
Let’s concede the fact that Congressmen as a group are a swollen zit of incompetence, alcohol abuse, and petty ambition. Even the well-meaning Mr. Smiths quickly get assimilated into the polished turd of big dollar democracy. Largely a group of self-serving assholes. But even assholes don’t deserve a lecture from Seth Rogen on the importance of sitting through his presentation. Seth was in the capital city on behalf of an Alzheimer’s charity to give a pointed speech about how his mother-in-law thinks her shoes belong on her nose, thanks to early onset of the disease. It was perhaps the most entertaining several televised minutes in Washington since Mayor Berry got caught scoring the rock on camera. But, you don’t invite a Hollywood comedic actor to a Senate Committee for the deep science explanations. This isn’t a Roland Emmerich disaster pic.
After the fact, Seth got all pissy that most of the Senators came to snap their photo with him then either dozed off or didn’t stick around to hear the speech:
Two of them were falling asleep during the first part of the testimony, literally. I saw it happening, I think it is indicative of the mentality that we find so frustrating is that it seems to be low priority. It seems like these people don’t care. That’s the direct message they are giving by leaving during the testimony, is that they don’t care.
Okay, first, grow up. The percentage of people in this country who think that Congress cares about them is down to 12%. That’s the same percentage who believe Elvis is living in a basement prison deep beneath the Las Vegas strip. Don’t play the rube for sympathy points. Second, these same comb-overs voted to spend $350 billion this past year on non-Medicare related health spending. If money is how people in Washington show they care, and it is, they do care. Or they’re pretending to care so they don’t have to find real jobs. Same difference. Maybe cancer and The AIDS and finding a cure for the Hilton sisters blisters is given more money than Alzheimer’s. I don’t know. And maybe more money should be spent on Alzheimer’s, it’s pretty fucking horrid. But these geezers dozing and walking out on the hearing aren’t going to decrease the level of funding for Alzheimer’s research, in fact, this big media storm might just cause research funding to increase. But, then, you knew that, didn’t you, Seth Rogen?
Seth Rogen and James Franco introduce todays red band trailer (meaning it has salty language) for ‘This Is The End’, written and directed by Rogen and his partner (professional, not sexual) Evan Goldberg, by mentioning that the world is supposed to end today according to the Mayan calendar, but I’m not sure if that’s true because this is the first I’ve heard of it. Why hasn’t this been in the news!?! If only there was some way to disseminate insane conspiracy theories, some way to link people from all over, world wide, as if in a web.
Movie award shows don’t have to be boring and awful and tragically unfunny, Billy Crystal just makes it seem that way. Take the Independent Spirt Awards for example, which were held in Santa Monica on Saturday and hosted by Seth Rogen.
The video above has Crystals entire monologue from the Oscars last night and then a few examples from Rogen. As you can see, a Billy Crystal joke follows a simple two-step formula:
1. Say some random thing that he’s heard of.
2. Smirk like an asshole.
Rogen on the other hand did things like compare Brett Ratner and the Oscars to Chris Brown and the Grammys:
“Seriously, you say a few hateful things and they don’t let you within a hundred yards of the Oscars. You could literally beat the shit out of a nominee and they’ll ask you to perform TWICE at the Grammys.”
And brought up the murderous Jewish mobsters in ‘Drive’:
“That movie made Jews look so scary I thought Mel Gibson directed it.”
Come to think of it, whoever keeps letting Billy Crystal sing those Oscar medleys filled with idiotic puns might have some secret anti-Semitic agenda too. The hate those things inspire is almost irrational, it’s like some kind of fever.
CONAN O’BRIEN – brought in 4.2 million viewers last night for the premiere of his TBS show, easily defeating Leno (3.5 million) and Letterman (3.4 million). And he showed how they plan to keep using old characters like the Masturbating Bear while getting around NBC’s intellectual property right claims. When it comes to apex predators wacking off, accept no substitutes. (deadline)
SETH ROGEN – says he was so nervous to propose to his girlfriend, he just ran in the house and did it. It was not good timing. “She was in our closet, changing, and she was literally only in her underpants. I had already kind of started. I didn’t picture it like this, and I know she didn’t picture it like this.” Wow so she was topless? What a whore! (people)
KRISTEN STEWART – will be “practically naked, a lot” in the next Twilight movie, though I didn’t catch the name of it. To be honest I thought we were done with these. How long is this gonna go on? (e!)