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Alicia Vikander Is Rising

Swedish actress Alicia Vikander is smoking hot. She also won an Oscar on Sunday. Further proof that God doesn't believe in the redistribution of anything. Vikander won Best Supporting Actress for her role inThe Danish Girl, in which she is married to a man who identifies as female.Her husband-cum-wife in the film was played by Eddie Redmayne, who was nominated for Best Actor, but did not win. Vikandersaid her winfelt...read more

Go Big On The Oscars Next Year

The Oscars are an obnoxious self congratulatory circle jerk you're occasionally forced to sit through with your girlfriend while she cries and you consider breaking up with her. She would totally blow Cumberbatch. Not even hypothetically. Just right now, on this couch. Your best bet is to turn this into an under the radar Super Bowl. Bet half your mortgage on a few gut instincts.Vegas odds on Birdman winning Best...read more

Jennifer Lawrence Isn't Wearing Any Panties

Jennifer Lawrence took a break from being disgusted by Hollywood selling young sexy woman to show up without panties at the Vanity Fair Oscar party. It's a bold meta statement on her desire to get the media to confess their sins. Quit looking at my pussy, you insidious sellers of snatch! As a reflection of her principles, Jennifer donates five-percent of revenues from all gigs she books due to her big young rack to a...read more

Leave Kim Novak Alone

Kim Novak became the butt joke of the Oscars last night for looking like every single other woman in that audience is going to look sometime in the next three decades. For Goldie Hawn, about four more days. You might as well build a time machine and travel forward to mock your future senior self. Matthew McConaughey could join you in the machine and go visit his hero, the even more stoned self-involved version of...read more

Ireland Baldwin To Be Fashion Correspondent At The Oscars

While daddy struggles with the minority-hating man in the mirror, Ireland Baldwin has been tapped to be the Oscar night fashion correspondent for TVGN. I have no fucking clue what TVGN is or what Ireland Baldwin knows about fashion, but if they can commit to having Ireland correspond in a thong bikini, I'd take the time to spin through those couple hundred alternating gay propaganda and Christian ministry channels on...read more