A web forum dedicated to distributing information about Scientology has uncovered an out-of-print German book written by Dr. Anastasius Nordenholz, originally published in 1934, called "Scientologie". Those who have read it claim it bears a stunning resemblance to works written by Scientology founder L Ron Hubbard thirty years later. A sample of the original (from here):
Nordenholz calls for a "science of knowledge" thusly, creating the term 'Scientology'. "The task of Scientology is the erection of the systems of knowledge, of understanding, of comprehension per se. Knowledge is the common material of all other sciences. It follows therefore that the science of knowledge itself is the key-science of the overall system of the sciences of the world. All other sciences of the world have the science of knowledge as their presuppositions…".
I got to the part where it said "the erection" then I just started to giggle but it does sound like the same kind of stuff L Ron wrote. Except he jazzed it all up with alien wars and spaceships. It makes it more exciting. Similarly, I took a copy of the Wall Street Journal and drew a dinosaur on it and then started my own non-fakey Hollywood religion. I call it Dinonomics.
Longtime Scientologist Nancy Cartwright — best known as the voice of Bart Simpson — gave the church of scientology $10 million last year, twice as much as even scientology superstar Tom Cruise, who gave just under 5 million. Page Six says:
It was all part of Scientology’s Global Salvage effort, which aims to “de-aberrate” Earth — meaning to rid mankind of psychology ills and other “aberrant” behavior. Here are some of the celeb gifts from 2007: Nancy Cartwright: $10 million. Kirstie Alley: $5 million. John Travolta: $1 million. Kelly Preston: $1 million. Priscilla Presley: $50,000.
"De-aberate" isn't a real word of course, but if it were it would mean the exact opposite of "lust for money", because scientology likes that a whole lot. Tom Cruise, seen above with ATM's Katherine Bell and Kelly Preston, and here with easily duped lottery tickets Jason Lee and Erika Christensen, should be ashamed of himself. 5 million? They'll never find and stop the alien lord who invented aberating at this rate.
<a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/3f716ffebe" mce_href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/3f716ffebe">the parody video Tom Cruise WANTS you to see!</a> on <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com" mce_href="http://www.funnyordie.com">FunnyOrDie.com</a> Jerry O’Connell is quite possibly the bravest man in Hollywood, because an actor making fun of the Scientologists is like a black guy going to a Klan meeting and asking, "where the white women at?"
With every clip that leaks online from his Medal of Valor acceptance video, Tom Cruise gets creepier and creepier. Here he rambles on about saving the rescue workers at ground zero after 9/11, and how he doesn't need to ask anyones permission, because scientologists are the real authorities. Being a scientologist is the only permission he needs. The only way he could look any crazier in this is if he had some heads on pikes in the background.
The Sun UK has more video today from the Scientology awards ceremony that presented Tom Cruise with the IAS Freedom Medal of Valor in 2006, and this one is infinitely creppier than the last one. It's all pretty terrifying and basically looks and sounds like a veiled threat against all the non-believers, topped off by Cruise saluting a portrait of L Ron Hubbard. You honestly expect the speech to end and then the wall opens up to reveal an army of killer robots with glowing red eyes.
Morton writes that Cruise left messages on the Alias star's voice mail in 2004 asking "if she knew what freedom was," but his advances were rebuffed. The book also claims Holmes signed a contract to commit to Scientology and that her father brokered a high-paying pre-nup.
There's actually an old story that, before he met Katie, Tom made a list of names of girls that would be good for his career. The list was Scarlett Johansson, Kate Bosworth and Katie Holmes. Some say Jessica Alba was on the list as well. Scarlett was actually cast in "Mission: Impossible III" but dropped out when it became clear Cruise was trying to convert/F her. He even brought her to the Scientology center in Los Angeles where he spoke to her for two hours about the cult, the revealed a secret room where a table full of high ranking scientologists had been waiting to have dinner with them. That was when Scarlett took off. Then Tom took out a crystal ball and shouted, "After her you fools, she's getting away!" Then he watched the chase in a big leather chair in front of a wall of monitors and tapped his fingers together. "Oh yes", sources claim he said. "My kitten she likes the pain."
