Someone needs to kidnap Suri and run a CAT scan on her immediately because something is wrong with her. I don't know what, but she's clearly f'd up somehow. She always looks like they just pulled her out of the dryer. Katie looks like a hot zombie, there's no way her daughter should look like they just hit her in the head with a frying pan.
The super muscular dog isn't relevant to anything, in case you were wondering, except that he was in the Daily Mail today too and he's a mutant just like Suri. That's pretty much like what I would look like if I was a dog, except with piercing blue eyes and getting smooches from a hot girl dog.
Monday, wire reports said that the World War II movie "Valkyrie" would not be allowed to film on German military sites because its star, Tom Cruise, is a scientologist. Now the German government has reconsidered, deciding that the story of high ranking German officers attempting to assassinate Adolph Hitler was important because it's a rare positive portrayal of Germans during the war. ABC.com says:
The German ministry now says that, while it hasn't received an official request from "Valkyrie" producers to shoot in the country, it would "look agreeably" upon any such application.
The source of the "Valkyrie" controversy seems to have stemmed from a posting on the Web site of conservative German member of parliament Antje Blumenthal. Blumenthal posted a statement Friday claiming that Defense Minister Franz-Josef Jung had pledged to her that Cruise would not get permission to shoot because of the purported danger posed by his Scientology.
"Valkyrie" is being praised as one of the "too few examples of military opposition to Hitler's regime."
"The assassination attempt against Hitler is hardly known outside Germany," Fisser said. "We should therefore be delighted and welcome this wonderful opportunity to improve the image of our country."
God damit, you already had improved the image of your country by yelling at sceintology. If you think Tom Cruise playing one of you is gonna help your image, you're screwed. You might as well get OJ or a talking gun.
Wire reports today say that Germany will not allow a movie starring Tom Cruise to film at German military sites because Cruise is a Scientologist. Reuters says:
Cruise, also one of the film's producers, is a member of the Church of Scientology which the German government does not recognize as a church. Berlin says it masquerades as a religion to make money, a charge Scientology leaders reject.
Cruise has been cast as Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, leader of the unsuccessful attempt to assassinate the Nazi dictator in July 1944 with a bomb hidden in a briefcase.
Defense Ministry spokesman Harald Kammerbauer said the film makers "will not be allowed to film at German military sites if Count Stauffenberg is played by Tom Cruise, who has publicly professed to being a member of the Scientology cult".
I wish the US would stand up to the these crazy whores like the Germans do. What the hell are they gonna do? It's a religion based on spaceships. The worst that can happen is that Cruise will pray to his outer space puma or whatever it is they believe in and then that thing from Lilo and Stich will come to earth, play records and go surfing. I'm willing to take my chances.
The Sun UK says that Katie Holmes is pregnant for the second time. No word yet on who the father might be (zing!). The Sun says:
Holmes told close pals she is thrilled. But she tried to hide her bump under a loose dress as she and Tom celebrated with their pals THE BECKHAMS in Madrid. But tactile Tom, 44, gave the game away by paying more attention to Katie, 28, than the action on the pitch.
A source said: “Katie and Tom are thrilled about having another baby on the way. She is glowing with happiness.”
Everything these people do is fascinating because their life is run by a religion based on UFO souls trapped on tropical islands. I might actually switch to Scientology because tropical islands are pretty, and maybe my new UFO god would invite me to hang out. The only down side would be if I saw my new god get bonked on the head with a coconut or step on a jellyfish. I'm not sure my faith could handle watching my god spaz out.
Tom Cruise has attained the highest level one can reach in Scientology, and apparently that gives him the power to perform marriages inside the church. And now he might do it for the first time for pawn friend James Packer. Packer is a devout scientologist, and one of Australia’s richest men. Page Six says:
Tom Cruise is at the highest level of "clear" in Scientology - and now he may even perform a wedding for a friend, Australian heir James Packer, one of the church's richest benefactors. Packer, who inherited a $6.5 billion fortune when his father, Kerry, died last year, weds model-turned-singer Erica Baxter Wednesday on France's Cote d'Azur. A mystery client, believed to be Packer, has booked the entire Grand Hotel du Cap-Ferrat and the Hotel du Cap-Eden Roc, presumably for his guests.
I'm not sure how you make the leap from someone reserving a hotel to Tom Cruise marrying a billionaire, but whatever, because a scientology wedding would be awesome. The groom could wear a black jumpsuit with a super high collar that goes up above his ears and a long purple cape and the bride could wear a white and silver jumpsuit with hot pants and when they get to the front a silver spaceship with smoke coming from the bottom could be lowered down and a ramp would open and Tom Cruise would come out and next to him would be a midget in a robot outfit and a really tall guy with a lizard head on. And Tom would give the bride and groom some blue liquid to drink and that would mean they were now married and some crazy laser lights would start and the lizard and robot would dance and everyone would have a really good time.
An 18-year-old, blue-eyed blond who claims to be a virgin has decided to get into porn and has chosen the stage name Katee Holmes. She will have sex for the first time in her first movie. This, predictably enough, is not sitting well with the more famous Katie Holmes and her husband Tom Cruise. Page Six says:
"It's a really cheap shot," a rep for the actress. Holmes' camp is weighing her possible recourse. A friend of Katie told us, "It's really kind of sleazy, using her name like that." A spokeswoman for Cruise said, "Obviously, Tom would support Katie in anything she decides to do about it."
Wow, some strong words here. Unfortunately they're directed at someone who wants to blow strangers on tape for 300 dollars. When someone dreams about a job that includes shoving things up her ass and washing semen out of her hair, name calling probably won't be enough to upset them.
(picture of Katee on the maybe nsfw AVN here)
