Metro UK says that Jennifaa Yopez has asked Tom Cruise to be the godfather to her newborn twins, further fueling rumors that she herself is a closet scientologist despite her repeated public denials.
However not everyone is happy about the diva's decision, namely her husband Marc Anthony, a devote Catholic, who is said to be concerned about Cruise's mysterious religious beliefs, it was reported. An insider claims despite Anthony's opposition Cruise is over, saying: 'Tom is delighted. Marc wasn't sure if it was a good idea to have a Scientologist as the kids' godfather, especially as he and Jennifer are both Catholic.'
They also say Cruise is planning a quarter million dollar party to welcome this kids to the world. And if there's anything better for a baby than an extravagant party thrown by people whose religion is based on intergalactic UFO wars, I haven't heard of it. The party can have smoke and laser light shows and a silver space ship come down and open up and then have a guy with a lizard head and silver jumpsuit with a big red X across his chest stand over the babies and welcome them to earth. Top experts agreee, babies should be made to feel like they're about to die. Because when (if) they don't, it gives them a nice lucky feeling.
TOM CRUISE IS FUNNY - The New York Times says an industry screening Tuesday night for the Ben Stiller movie "Tropic Thunder" – the one where Robert Downy Jr plays a black guy – was noteworthy mostly for the surprise cameo by Tom Cruise as a fat, balding and ruthless movie executive. The uncredited cameo was supposed to be a surprise, as Cruise is not included in any commercials or promotional material, but you can find a picture of him in character here. What you won't find is the strength to open your heart and love again. That’s been inside you the whole time.
THAT GIRL WAS VOTED OFF - People magazine says that Ramiele Malubay was voted off American Idol last night, and they say it in the hottest way possible. “It was an all-female bottom three as Brooke White and Kristy Lee Cook joined Ramiele Malubay…” Rawr. What a sexy show this is.
HEATHER MILLS IS CLEVER – Heather Mills was seen on her way to Los Angeles yesterday in black wig, a cunning disguise that caused many to say, "Hey look, there’s Heather Mills in a black wig". Plan B: a handlebar mustache and monocle.
Bauer Griffin has some pictures of Katie Holmes new super short haircut, and although I will look back longingly to her time as the Berries and Cream lad, I like this one too because Tom Cruise has been getting fat lately, and I miss the old timey comedy teams where one guy was short and fat and the other guy was tall and skinny. Hopefully they’ll do that bit where one of them has a ladder on their shoulder and they turn around and bonk the other one in the head. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
Will Smith still denies he has become a member of the Church Of Scientology, but there are new stories again today that say otherwise. Radar magazine has a new cover story saying Will and his wife Jada, along with Kimora Lee Simmons, are all new members, and set to be the celebrity face in hopes of gaining more African American members. MSNBC says…
In the piece, the magazine said, “The Church has also set its sights on African Americans, opening up a center in Harlem in 2003 and making a strong play for Hollywood supercouple Will Smith and Jada Pinkett.” Despite a fervent denial from Smith’s rep—“I can tell you with 100 percent certainty this is not true”—sources close to Smith earlier told this column that the actor definitely is becoming a member of the religion. “He’s been getting more and more involved (in Scientology),” said one source. “And it isn’t just him, it’s definitely Jada, too.”
Back in January, the New York Daily News reported that Smith was distributing Scientology propaganda to the crew on his movie "Hancock", so it's pretty clear that he is a member. It's also clear the a scientology church in Harlem is a fantastic idea. People there are receptive to rich white coming in with ideas about how to change them. I like to call it, "Harlem - Where The Smiles Are Always Free".
Tom Cruise sings and dances. I had some other intro written for this but who the fuck cares. This video shows Tom Cruise singing and dancing at his scientology birthday party. Top that. Gawker - who has done an unbelievable job with this stuff - says:
Andrew Morton wrote in his best-selling biography of Tom Cruise that the Hollywood star was prominent in the hierarchy of the Church of Scientology. Of all of the author's claims, it was (that) one that most enraged the sect: "Insinuations that Mr. Cruise is second-in-command of the Church are not only false, they are ludicrous," the Scientologists maintained. "He is neither 2nd or 100th. Mr. Cruise is a Scientology parishioner and holds no official or unofficial position in the Church hierarchy. Claims to the contrary are offensive to both Mr. Cruise and the Church." But if Cruise was merely a humble parishioner, why in Xenu's name did the sect spend six figures to celebrate his birthday? In a video obtained by Gawker, watch Scientology chief David Miscavige lead the sect's most famous follower into an extravagant celebration of the Hollywood star on Scientology cruise ship, Freewinds.
This religion really knows how to bring it. Look at Tom Cruise go. The Pope just got pawned so bad. Where's your god now? Not singing and dancing on his very own cruise ship, I'll tell you that.
The story that Tom Cruise set up and auditioned prospective wives - the result of which was Katie Holmes - has been around for a few years now and been on Tyler at least twice (including here) but today it's alive again, this time because of new claims from an ex high ranking scientologist. So does this mean its true? Uhh, sure why not. Page Six says:
Marc Headley, who used to produce promotional films for the religion, spoke to Britain’s News of the World and said that following Tom's split from Penelope Cruz in 2004, the megastar told head of Scientology David Miscavige that he was having trouble meeting women. So the church sent out a casting call that said, “There’s an upcoming Tom Cruise movie you might get a part in. Come for an audition.” There were of course restrictions: You had to be single, pretty and in your twenties. While a few female Scientologists were rounded up — Traffic’s Erika Christensen and CSI: Miami's Sofia Milos — they were all rejected as Tom focused his attention on bigger stars. “They went for Jennifer Garner, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba, in that order,” Marc says. “Jennifer and Jessica didn’t bite but Scarlett took the bait and came in for an audition. When she arrived and found out it was the Scientology Center in Hollywood, she freaked out and didn’t do a tape…”
It's hard not to notice that this is pretty much the same thing lonely perverts do when they want to bang teen runaways forced into porn. They set up fake production offices and put out ads for "new models". And it works too. (*)
(*) don’t I know it … heh heh heh
NOTE - Im pretty sure Scarlett Johansson was already cast in MI:3, along with that Trinity chick from the Matrix, when it was still set to be written and directed by (the great) Joe Carnahan. He dropped out, JJ Abrahams stepped in, and Scarlett’s role was written out, but only after Cruise freaked her out by trying to marry her.
