Katie Holmes is a bad mom

By brendon March 16, 2011 @ 4:45 PM

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The Daily Mail says today that Katie Holmes was out with Suri, who is 4, at a restaurant called Serendipity 3 in New York last night, and on the way out Suri picked up a box of gummi penises.

The box features cartoon like drawings of male genitalia, and unsurprisingly Suri seemed somewhat captivated by the brightly coloured packaging which contained penis-shaped jelly sweets.
Katie seemed as oblivious to adult candy as she was to the late hour.
The phallic shaped sweets were quite clearly an inappropriate choice for the four-year-old.

As a guy I’m much less concerned with Suri seeing a penis than I am by the idea that a new generation of girls think a penis is supposed to be bitten and chewed.

Katie Holmes is suing Star for $50 million

By brendon March 01, 2011 @ 6:52 PM

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Katie Holmes has filed a 50 million dollar lawsuit against Star magazine for their January 31st cover story, not only because it wrongly infers that she’s addicted to drugs, but because they don’t actually think she’s addicted to drugs either, despite the words DRUG SHOCKER! in a font size magazines normally reserve for Martian attacks.

Inside the issue, the story does not say that Holmes uses drugs but focuses more on her use of an “e-meter” during Scientology sessions, which allegedly reflects past emotional experiences.

Nonetheless, Star says…

“Star fully stands behind the editorial integrity of what we have published concerning Ms Holmes’ controversial use of the Scientology e-meter. The physical effect of the e-meter on its users is a matter of significant public concern, and we plan to vigorously defend the suit filed by Ms. Holmes. Our attorneys look forward to deposing Ms. Holmes about her experiences with Scientology and the e-meter, and expect that the case will be promptly dismissed by the court.”

The balls on this guy. I guess they’re saying the e-meter is a drug. I don’t mean to brag but I’m pretty sure I know what the word “drug” means. Star should be grateful she’s only suing for money. This is so intentionally misleading and defamatory, if I were on that jury and she wanted the men set on fire and the women to have their vaginas sewn shut, I would do it.

Tom Cruise will skip the Oscars bc of Anne Hathaway

By brendon January 10, 2011 @ 1:42 PM








Back in November, Anne Hathaway hosted Saturday Night Live and did a breathy, stammering impression of Katie Holmes where she talked out of the side of her mouth like she was Popeye or had a stroke, and it was seen by dozens, literally dozens, of viewers around the world.

Well two of those viewers were apparently Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, and now they may not attend the Academy Awards next month because Hathaway is the host. The Daily Mail says…

‘Tom and Katie don’t want to have to cross paths with Anne,’ says a Hollywood source.
‘They used to be friends and took Anne to a Tina Turner concert in 2008 when Anne split up from her boyfriend Raffaello Follieri.
‘Katie feels they were really supportive at a difficult time so she feels let down that Anne took to national TV to make fun of her.
‘Anne didn’t even warn her it was going to be on TV.’

In Hathaways defense, if someone made me go to a Tina Turner concert they would be my mortal enemy until 50 years after I died, so doing an impression doesn’t seem so bad. And old lady in a mini-skirt, singing songs she can’t sing anymore? How dare you. I would have dug up their parents and pissed on them.

Katie Holmes likes it rough

By brendon December 14, 2010 @ 3:47 PM

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Katie Holmes was at the Grove in Hollywood last night, filming scenes for a new Adam Sandler movie called Jack and Jill, and when she bent over it showed off a huge bruise on her ass.

This wasn’t part of the scene, so was she injured? Did she fall down? Hopefully this wasn’t some sex related bruise, because, if there’s one thing I know about anal sex, it’s that the running start doesn’t work. It makes aim almost impossible and can lead to accidents. DON’T BE A HERO KATIE!

Tom Cruise is still braver and/or dumber than me

By brendon November 18, 2010 @ 4:21 PM

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When we last saw Tom Cruise
, he was hanging off the side of the Burj Kahlifa in Dubai, running along the side of the 124th floor, filming stunts for Mission: Impossible 4. But clearly that’s for pussies, so today Tom was sitting on top of the tower, at the very peak of the worlds tallest man made structure, 2,717 feet in the air.

And I don’t mean IN the tower, like in this youtube video. I mean ON it. With his feet hanging over the side, like a little kid fishing on a dock with his dad.

Just so we’re perfectly clear: Fuck That. Stuff like this just makes me think his marriage is falling apart or he has bone cancer or something. How shitty do things have to be at home for you to sit on top of a tower half a mile in the air.

(image source – fame)

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Tom Cruise is a pro

By brendon November 02, 2010 @ 10:18 AM

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Tom Cruise may be an easily bamboozled simpleton in his personal life, but when it comes to making movies, the guy is a pro. He’s well known to do many of his own stunts, and clearly his work in ‘Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol’ won’t be any different. Proof: yesterday he ran along the side of the worlds tallest building, the Burj Kahlifa in Dubai, outside the 124th floor.

I don’t even like trying new foods I’m such a pussy, there’s no way I’d do this, even If I could literally fly and my body was composed entirely of replaceable robot parts.