Thanks to ‘pluggy’ (yeah, what’s your screen name, hotshot?) and a minor bit of detective work, it appears that the Kate Upton painted bare beaver shot they accidentally posted on SwimDaily before somebody yelled ‘vagina!’ is actually still sitting... READ MORE

I mock the extensive Photoshop work Sports Illustrated performs on all of its swimsuit models, but now I realize all that body shaping, cutting, glowing, hazing, and polishing into nipple-free slightly tanned culturally indistinct female mannequins is for a... READ MORE

Kate Upton is making it very hard to see her as whatever the hell it is she wants us to see her as besides a hot blond girl with fetching yabbos and a middling bottom. I can’t remember if... READ MORE

I remember the joke as kids with parents telling you to wear clean underwear in case you get hit by a bus on the way to school. My mom would tell me to wear clean underwear just in case... READ MORE

In my experience, model shoots take three people. Me, the model, and her steroid freak boyfriend with the surly stare. Sports Illustrated runs about twenty deep on their shoots. You need lots of girls running around adjusting Kate’s tits... READ MORE

I figured out why women feel so crappy about their bodies all the time. It only took me about thirty years after everybody else figured it out. It’s not because men are always criticizing the way they look. Because... READ MORE

Now that everyone who by sheer force of estrogen and labial lashings was forced to see The Other Woman has seen it, we can put to bed any notion that Kate Upton is ever going to be an actress.... READ MORE

Kate Upton, Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann attended a screening of their new film, The Other Woman, in New York City last night, and I can say with very little doubt that this is one of the worst looks... READ MORE

Kate Upton has a lot of rules. The last one was about how you’re not supposed to openly jizz thinking about her big yabbos, just adore them discreetly and pay with direct deposit or something. Girls who look like... READ MORE

Photo Credit: INFphoto.com, Splash READ MORE