Conan O’Briens final ‘Tonight Show’ was two weeks ago tomorrow, and last week NBC managed to go all 5 days without embarrassing themselves in some new fascinating way. It was the beginning of a new era, one where they would stop looking like incompetent retards, an era that would last until today, around 1:30pm.
That’s when Questlove (the drummer for The Roots and the Jimmy Fallon show) shared NBCs idea of a black feast with the world on his Twitter page.
I think it’s a cute idea actually. It’s a fun theme. Maybe for Breast Cancer Awareness Month they can have Flat Iron Steak and stop serving milk. And for AIDS Awareness they could have hot dogs with 5 or 6 wieners crammed into the buns. And for Holocaust Remembrance they could serve nothing and charge you $8,000 for it.
The LA County Coroner has determined that Brittany Murphy died on Dec. 20 at the age of 32 due to pneumonia and an iron deficiency anemia exacerbated by multiple drug intoxication. A toxicology report detailing what those drugs might have been is complete but won’t be released for several weeks. Her death has been ruled an accident.
Unofficially it’s being reported that her pneumonia and anemia would not have killed her if she had received proper medical care in time. She didn’t, and when combined with her drug use, they became fatal.
Our sources say the drugs “pushed her over the line” but the underlying problems were the pneumonia and anemia.
Well now I don’t know what to believe because last week her husband said, “She has never, and I repeat NEVER, done drugs. There are no drugs involved.” And he looks trustworthy to me. I can’t put my finger on it. He’s so stately and dignified looking, like a noble king from olden days. I just have a good feeling about him.
BIG BANG THEORY - with the laugh track removed is confusing. How will I know if a joke has been told? They should have a blinking light system in the corner that tells me when to laugh. Green means laugh, Yellow means it’s time to catch your breath from laughing, and Red means to put on your laughing hat because another big joke is comin’ down the tracks. (you tube)
PAM ANDERSON - will be a contestant on the next season of ‘Dancing With the Stars’, and for the first few weeks all her dancing will be set to ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’. She’ll save ‘Slave 4 U’ and ‘Can A Nigga Get A Table Dance’ until she needs to really show the judges what she can do. (radar)
NOAH CYRUS - is not part of a lingerie line for little kids, despite that story being everywhere yesterday. The company allegedly behind this actually makes ballet dresses for little girls, which is essentially the same thing, except now your disgusting erotic fantasy is set to romantic music and feels kind of classy. (cnbc)
For the first time in over two months, Tiger Woods may have something to be happy about because Radar says he will finish his time at a sex rehab today or tomorrow, and his wife Elin Nordegren has already arrived in Hattiesburg, Mississippi to pick him up.
But in even more interesting news, and by that I mean “tits”, the Playboy model/prostitute who says Tiger was a regular client was on an Italian talk show last night, and it’s awesome to see that the Italians found the most menacing picture ever taken of Tiger Woods. They might as well have gotten a picture of Tupac holding up a gun and fanning out hundred dollar bills and written ‘Tiger Woods’ across the front.
The entire show looks like a TV show that someone who had never seen an Italian TV show or been to Italy would do based on things he’s heard about Italians. It should be called ‘Stereotype Showcase’. And the host should jump over barrels to get to the guest. And then if he ever says “god”, an old woman with a rolling pin named Maria could slap him, then make the sign of the cross and yell, “You’a no use’a da Lords name in’a da vain! Why you break’a you mommas heart?”
Back in May, the LAPD investigated a burglar alarm at Lindsay Lohans house, and the place was such a mess, the Daily Mail said this…
… no-one had entered the house and nothing had been stolen, but the place was so messy that police had to contact Lindsay - who is currently in Paris - and ask: “Is it normally like this, or did intruders do it?”
No. No it’s normally like that.
But behind closed doors the actress has been hiding another concerning issue. She is a secret hoarder - her luxury Los Angeles home is filled to the rafters with expensive but discarded purchases.
Video footage from inside her mansion shows rooms piled high with bundles of clothes, boxes of shoes stacked to the ceiling and discarded purchases lying unopened.
One bedroom is completely converted into a shoe closet, the hundreds of boxes labelled with photos of their contents.
Even the living room is unusable, with tables and chairs covered in clutter and clothing.
This airs on ‘the Insider’ later today, although I’m not sure if this makes her a hoarder or just a god damn slob, and I doubt the black girl from ‘Reno 911′ is in any position to tell the difference. Either way I wish it was someone hotter doing this, like Megan Fox. I could hide in some of those clothes piles pretty easily, and I wouldn’t have to wait until she leaves her house to go roll around on her bed and steal her panties, which is what I do now.
‘90210′ star AnnaLynne McCord went to work yesterday and was nice enough to wear a thin white tshirt that might as well have been made out of glass. I don’t know why she’s so awesome, but I don’t know why she’s dressed all in white and the black guy is dressed all in black either. They look like an ad for racial harmony. Or racial hatred, I guess, depending on who’s running the ad.
