I don’t care about ‘Dancing With the Stars’ of course (in fact if you and I met and I asked what you were doing later and you said, “I’m watching Dancing With the Stars” I would just stare at you blankly while I waited for my brain to calculate how much was wrong with you and then advise me how to proceed) but there’s one thing I very much do care about, and that’s pointless nudity on the internet.
People magazine, is there something you’d like to say?
After four couples danced their hearts out in Monday’s semi-finals, only three could move on to the Dancing with the Stars finale next week. Sadly, model Joanna Krupa and her partner Derek Hough will not be one of them. The pair danced her last waltz Tuesday night — and it was lovely.
“I really came in the underdog so it’s great that people actually appreciated our dances and our hard work,” Krupa told PEOPLE after the elimination.
Instead of taking a final bow as the credits rolled, head judge Len Goodman asked Krupa and Hough to give a final performance of their Viennese waltz.
“It couldn’t have been written better, going out on that dance. It was really special,” Hough says. “We went out on a high note.”
Awww. If I hadn’t already taken my pants off that would have really been touching. But Joanna Krupa is a Polish model mostly known for modeling her naked ass, so there’s like 50 naked pictures of her here. I don’t even know where they’re from. They’ve just kind of added up over the years. I know what you’re thinking, and yes it’s true. I’ve lived an amazing life! The 18 grand my parents paid for private school every year has truly led me to this moment!
Shannan Click is a Victorias Secret model, and while I very much appreciate her taking her clothes off, the only Victorias Secret models I truly want to see naked are Alessandra Ambrosio and Marisa Miller. This chick is too flat chested. It makes her look 13. Which means it would be like 2 years before she and I could even do it, so what’s the point in getting all worked up.
(nsfw pics under the ‘read more’)
Read more >
The highlight of todays audio clip on Radar is when Dina Lohan admits to Michael Lohan that their daughters lifestyle is going to kill her sooner than later (“time is running out with this kid. I know, I’m her mother and I feel it and I’m scared.”). Luckily it seems the message may finally be getting through. I’m joking of course. When asked about her father releasing these tapes to pressure her into drug rehab, Lindsay says…
“I hate him so much. My father knows nothing other than how to sell stories for money instead of getting a real job like normal people do, including myself.”
No need to read that again because yes she thinks she has a job. The last time Lindsay had a movie in a theater it made $56,000. Total. Not including that one, all her movies since 2005 have made an average of 15M. To put that in perspective, ‘Ponyo’, ‘New Girl in Town’ and ‘Shorts’ all made more than that this year, and those movies probably don’t even exist.
So since Lindsay doesn’t matter, there’s really no need to have pictures of her. Instead here are pictures of Asian girls with disproportionately large breasts in bikinis. I know that’s an incredibly specific type of gallery, but god dammit man, you read Tyler, you deserve the very best in life! Huzzah!
(story source = msnbc. box office numbers on box office mojo here and here. full size of banner pic here)
Former, and by “former” I mean “thirteen years ago”, Playboy Playmate Shauna Sand wore one of her fancy outfits last night as she drove her daughter to have dinner with her dad, Shaunas ex husband Lorenzo Lamas.
Her daughter is handling this better than I am, but she’s been conditioned to it. I get an occasional (and merciful) break. If my nipples looked like I’d been branded, I would fight someone to the grave if they tried to take a picture of them, but she doesn’t seem to mind. Her scarring is insane, like her nipples were sewn on with leather string. If her nipple was a straight line it would look like a scarecrows mouth.
This is relevant to nothing but because Rihanna has the self-defense skills of a fucking toddler who just came out of the dryer, my sexxxy website got all serious and depressing.
Luckily Kelly Brook, being wise and all-knowing, preemptively posed for pictures in her bra and panties. Catholics should drop the shit about sunrises and your babies smile and just show pictures of her tits as proof of God.
(go to the tyler facebook for 2 uhq)
It’s nice to see that the foppish dandies who run GQ over in England are just as snooty and dim witted as the ones over here in the Colonies. Nicole Kidman usually gives boring interviews because she’s a dullard, but in this one she actually hinted at something interesting. “Well that’s enough of that,” the GQ reporter thought to himself. “A big star and her sex fetishes? Boooor-ing!”
The Daily Mail says…
But in one of her most revealing-ever interviews, Nicole Kidman let slip how her experiences of love ranged from ‘mundane’ marriage to ‘strange sexual fetish stuff’.
The 42-year-old actress, currently married to country singer Keith Urban, said her life had been about exploring different types of love.
‘I’ve explored obsession. I’ve explored loss and love in terms of being in a grief-stricken place, I’ve explored strange sexual fetish stuff, I’ve explored the mundane aspect of marriage, and monogamy,’ she said.
And that’s the last we hear of any sex talk. Not that Nicole Kidman is so great or anything, but if she had a hot Asian girl shoving things into her ass while Tom sat in the corner and cried, I wanna hear about it. Even if she didn’t do that I wanna hear about it. In fact, if Nicole Kidman could make up a bunch of super detailed lesbian sex stories, that would really help me out.
(theres like a hundred screencap pics of kidman getting naked in ‘eyes wide shut’ here. if you save them then click fast enough, it’s like a movie)
