heidi montag and her bikini are doing great

Heidi Montag went to Liquid in Vegas this weekend, her first time in a bikini since the rumor that she got some sort of plastic surgery. I never looked into that because it's probably just some lies spread by flat chested girls who are jealous of Heidis hot body. Flat chested girls are always doing stuff like that. I also heard that they steal. This is why I don't trust them.read more

michelle hunziker won easter

Jesus came back from the dead yesterday, but the real winners were the people on Miami Beach who got to see Swiss model and apparent godless heathen Michelle Hunziker in a bikini. A dumb Ed Hardy bikini, but when your body is this perfect it doesn't matter what you wear as long as it fits like a tattoo. Just like when I do the stairmaster at the gym in my red and white lycra singlet. (image source = splash news online...read more

damn you kim kardashian

There better be a mermaid warning us about cthulhu in the blue tent thing behind Kim Kardashian, because that's the only excuse for that nerd with the camera to film anything but Kim and her unthinkably perfect tits on the beach in Miami today. On a scale of 1 to 10, her tits are an open chest of gold coins followed by an exclamation point. (image source = fame pictures)read more

katy perry was made for bikinis

Katy Perry and her dopey boyfriend are in Mexico today, and even though she's annoying as hell, if any guy says they wouldnt bang her, they probably did so with one hand on their hip while snapping their fingers in a circle. (image source = splash news online)read more

kelly brook is the winner

I was all pouty about comcast and their shitty service yesterday, so I forgot to post these pictures of Kelly Brook in a new campaign for Ultimo lingerie. Aw she's just fantastic. Beautiful face, huge breasts, long hair, huge breasts, that sexy British accent, and let's not forget about her huge breasts. If God had a girlfriend, she'd look like Kelly Brook. (source = splash news online)read more

Pirates of the Caribbean 4 won’t be like this. sadly.

'Pirates of the Caribbean 4' won't have Gore Verbinski, who directed the first 3, and it won't have Keira Knightley or Orlando Bloom, and all that can be overcome. But now they've gone too far. Popeater says... Disney is bucking the trend of hiring augmented actresses, requesting that only women with natural breasts apply for a role in the latest installment of their 'Pirates of the Caribbean' franchise. "What a...read more

kim kardashian is single

Kim Kardashian is in Miami this week to film her sisters reality show and her boyfriend Reggie Bush is in New York to shoot a calendar, but word on the street is that the distance between them is not just because of work. And by "the street", I mean radar.com. An insider on the set of the 2011 Calendar Guys shoot (said), "It was a two hour shoot and Reggie spent most of it texting on his phone," the source said. "In...read more

vida guerra is here to help

Vida Guera had a party at Vanguard in LA last night to celebrate her 35th birthday. If you don't know, Vida was Kim Kardashian before Kim Kardashian was, and Vida was actually way better at it, but Vida didn't make a sex tape so now Kim is famous and she's not. The lesson here is obvious. It's time to slay that dragon named Dignity and start suckin. If that last part wasn't clear, it might help to know that I was...read more

michelle bombshell naked, part 2

For an alleged naked model and stripper, it seemed to take forever to find naked pictures of Michelle Bombshell (under the cut), who is of course the chick Jesse James ruined his marriage to Sandra Bullock for. It really is amazing. Apart from being a white female, this chick is 100 percent opposite of Sandra Bullock. Sandra is clean and proper, Michelle is a dirty slut. Jesse didn't just cheat, he did it from the top...read more

francia raisa is good at marketing

'The Secret of Life of the American Teenager' is a show on ABC Family, which is a network that apparently exists. And yesterday the shows star Francia Raisa went rollerblading in a bikini top in Santa Monica, just a few hours before a 'Teenager' movie premiered. It's sad that young girls have to parade around with their huge breasts on display to get exposure in Hollywood. Wait. No, not "sad". I meant to say...read more

christina ricci looks fun, drunk

Christina Ricci was at the after party for Jean-Charles de Castelbajacs fashion show in Paris last night, and she was either really really drunk or dead. She can't weigh more than 90 pounds (bikini pix, topless tat pic), so she could suck on a towel dipped in whiskey and probably black out in 5 minutes. I really like that quality in girls. I don't have all day, ya know. (image source = inf daily)read more

kelly brook won the academy awards

On her way to the Academy Awards last night, Kelly Brook and her DDD breasts stopped by the Pacific Desighn Center in West Hollywood, where Elton John would host his after party in just a few hours, and either a ray of golden sunlight wrapped itself around her because it was so late in the afternoon, or because she and I are supposed to fall in love. (source = pacific coast news and wenn)read more

sofia vergara was see-thru. apparently.

I guess I was so consumed by the sight of her amazing boobs that I never even considered that Sofia Vergaras dress from yesterday might have been see-thru. In my defense it's just barely see thru, and the only people who find that kind of thing are lonely nerds with nothing better to do than scan dozens of pictures in desperate hopes of seeing what might be a pair of panties. And so that's what I did. OMG you can...read more

bouncy bouncy

Everyone agrees that pregnant women are gross and creepy looking, so even though Kourtney Kardashian has always been the hottest Kardashian (she even makes out with other girls) when there was some kind of animal living inside of her and feeding off her as its host, her ranking slipped far below Kim Kardashian, who was coincidentally getting into the best shape of her life at the same time. But now Kourtney has been...read more

im so happy right now

Sofia Vergara had some award or something for ‘Modern Family' last night, and OH MY FUCKING GOD is she fantastic. She must be one of the worlds greatest athletes to walk around in high heels with those magnificent breasts outweighing the rest of her by a hundred pounds and bouncing up and down in front of her. Even getting out of bed must be a Herculean effort. She probably just has to roll onto the floor and then put...read more