Drake Lets Terrorists Win

In the wake of singer Christina Grimmie's shooting death at the hands of an obsessed fan, Justin Bieber and now Drake have cancelled all meet-and-greets associated with their tours, breaking the hearts of coked up thirteen year olds across the nation. Not only are Drake... read more

Drake Grinds Rihanna to Make Auto-Tuned Babies

At this point in her career, Rihanna sings through vocal synthesizers almost entirely about getting fucked. Her music producers used to give her more to say but nobody was buying it. "Work" is her third song with Drake that follows the general message of, I think I love... read more

Drake Horas for Cash

Over the weekend, rapper Drakegot in touch with his Jewish roots and half a million dollars and performed at a rich girl's Bat Mitzvah. The dadis Ben Ashkenazy, whose real estate holdings areon the Trump level.Getting Drake and the Rainbow Room for your thirteenth... read more

Diddy And Drake Sword Fight

Diddy and Drake reportedlymade fake amends over their fake beef at Mel's Diner which serves only realcheese. Their feud drew minor attention because its subjects were a self-aggrandizingbusinessman and the star of Canadian Saved By The Bell overdubbed in French. Diddy... read more

Madonna Claims Drake Is a Chick Who Doesn't Know What He Wants (VIDEO)

Madonna went on YouTube to pretend to answer impromptu questions from her fans while making sure to keep her face at a 43-degree angle to the camera for even one degree off and her skeleton appears to dance. Just past the two minute mark, she reads a question about that... read more

Drake Jimmies Up Some Lies And Shit Around The Web

Canadian teen soap opera star Drake claims he's "100%" with being deep throatedby desiccated crone Madonna at Coachella. This is contrary to early reportsand his obvious physical reaction to feeling his life force being sucked out of his gourd. Read all of Drake's lies.... read more

Drake Repulsed By Old Woman's Tongue (VIDEO)

Madonna joined Drake on stage at Coachella and kissed him on the mouth, causing him to gag and wretchand talk to Jewish Jesus and then immediately go get his dick sucked by a nineteen year old pixie dust spreader. The whole scene is bizarre. As Madonna is kissing him he... read more

Drake Narrowly Avoids Cherp Herps And Shit Around The Web

Former Canadian teen dramatistDrake supposedly struck out with Lebanese porn star Mia Khalifa. She was moved by his music, but less impressed with the not black part of his junk. He'll likely create a new rap that shades the story differently. Read about this modern day... read more

Drake's Dad Is Dirty Old Man

Drake's old ass dad, who's name is Dennis Graham, spends all his time drinking and soliciting handsy photos with any piece of ass in his diminished line of sight and then posting them.Outside of that he is apparently an aspiring musician. He put out a feeler on Instagram... read more

Drake Crashes The Stage (VIDEO)

Comedian Red Grant was on stage doing an impression of Drake at The Comedy Store which entailed dancing nondescriptly to one of Drake's songs. It is unknown whether he was doing this precisely because Drake was in the audience or if this is one of his signature bits.... read more

Diddy Punches Drake, Nobody Dies, There Is No Santa

Rap music was always good for some murders between disrespecting douchebags with bad chin hairand questionable upbringings. Now the best you get is a Twitter feud, maybe a bottle tossing incident at a club with underaged Kardashians if you're lucky. Sean Combs punched... read more

Drake Better Than The Beatles

In stunning confirmation of Satan's plan to unleash mediocre hacks onto earth to diminish our cultural standards, Drake surpassed The Beatles in number of Top 100 hits. Few over the age of fourteen would argue with a straight face that Drake's talent comes remotely close... read more