Drake May Have Knocked Up a THOT

April 18, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

THOT is one of the stupidest Urban Dictionary entries ever, but the black gossip sites love to drop it constantly so white people can re-use That Ho Over There and sound like they’re on to something special.

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Jennifer Lopez Mysterious Breasts

February 6, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Jennifer Lopez posted cryptic pre-printed messages on Instagram providing the opportunity for hundreds of thousands of women to muse over her relationship status with Drake over the weekend. Everybody finds their own form of living through others. Most chose the Super Bowl.

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Nobody Going to the Grammy’s This Year

January 31, 2017 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Justin Bieber, Kanye West, and Drake  are all passing on attending the Grammys  even though they have 22 nominations between them. All three not so subtly noted how the young black man is being kept down by the Grammys. Though older black men, black Canadian Jews, and wigger midgets with tempers seem to be doing splendid.

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Drake Lets Terrorists Win

June 23, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

In the wake of singer Christina Grimmie’s shooting death at the hands of an obsessed fan, Justin Bieber and now Drake have cancelled all meet-and-greets associated with their tours, breaking the hearts of coked up thirteen year olds across the nation. Not only are Drake and Bieber pussies for altering their behavior over mass hysteria, they’re also too big of pussies to admit why they did it.

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Drake Grinds Rihanna to Make Auto-Tuned Babies

March 16, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

At this point in her career, Rihanna sings through vocal synthesizers almost entirely about getting fucked. Her music producers used to give her more to say but nobody was buying it. “Work” is her third song with Drake that follows the general message of, I think I love him but all he wants to do […]

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Drake Horas for Cash

February 23, 2016 | Uncategorized | josh-j| 0 Comments

Over the weekend, rapper Drake got in touch with his Jewish roots and half a million dollars and performed at a rich girl’s Bat Mitzvah. The dad is Ben Ashkenazy, whose real estate holdings are on the Trump level. Getting Drake and the Rainbow Room for your thirteenth birthday exponentially increases your odds of becoming Ann Hathaway in a movie visiting […]

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Diddy And Drake Sword Fight

May 22, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Diddy and Drake reportedly made fake amends over their fake beef at Mel’s Diner which serves only real cheese. Their feud drew minor attention because its subjects were a self-aggrandizing businessman and the star of Canadian Saved By The Bell overdubbed in French. Diddy had reportedly punched Drake at a nightclub in Miami a few months back over some […]

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Madonna Claims Drake Is a Chick Who Doesn’t Know What He Wants (VIDEO)

May 5, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Madonna went on YouTube to pretend to answer impromptu questions from her fans while making sure to keep her face at a 43-degree angle to the camera for even one degree off and her skeleton appears to dance. Just past the two minute mark, she reads a question about that awkward make-out session with Drake […]

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Drake Jimmies Up Some Lies And Shit Around The Web

April 15, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Canadian teen soap opera star Drake claims he’s “100%” with being deep throated by desiccated crone Madonna at Coachella. This is contrary to early reports and his obvious physical reaction to feeling his life force being sucked out of his gourd. Read all of Drake’s lies. (Huffington Post) Rosie Huntington-Whiteley uses her arms as a bra for […]

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Drake Repulsed By Old Woman’s Tongue (VIDEO)

April 14, 2015 | video | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Madonna joined Drake on stage at Coachella and kissed him on the mouth, causing him to gag and wretch and talk to Jewish Jesus and then immediately go get his dick sucked by a nineteen year old pixie dust spreader. The whole scene is bizarre. As Madonna is kissing him he starts flailing his limbs around […]

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