01.04.2012 Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are engaged! Maybe!

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake started dating in May of 2007. Three months after that, the rumors that he was cheating on her began, and they - basically - never - stopped for the four years that they dated. Because he’s a jackass who was absolutely cheating on her. And so in March of 2011, they broke up. :(

But now not only are they back together, but Us magazine says they’re engaged. To get married. To each other.

Timberlake popped the question to Biel (last week) in the mountains of Jackson, Wyoming. “Justin knows how much she loves snowboarding and the mountains, so it was the perfect place,” one insider explains.
Another Timberlake insider adds that he’s “never been happier” with the New Year’s Eve actress. “He knew it was the right time to propose.”

Oh yeah I bet he did. There’s nothing girls like more than screwing over other girls, so I bet breaking up with Jessica really began a sharp decline in the amount of pussy he was getting. Needless to say he had to fix that problem asap.

Tags: jessica biel, justin timberlake |

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11.21.2011 Mila Kunis was cool too

Just like Justin Timberlake last weekend, Mila Kunis kept her word after accepting an invitation posted on youtube and attended the Marine Corps Ball in Greenville, North Carolina, on Saturday with Sgt. Scott Moore. Unlike Timberlake however, Kunis let her date get to third base. Conclusion: Timberlake is a queer with ties to al-qaeda. You won’t get away with this you traitorous piece of shit!

(image source = pacific coast)

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Tags: justin timberlake, mila kunis |

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11.14.2011 Timberlake went to the Marine Corps Ball

Back in July, Cpl. Kelsey de Santis posted a video on youtube inviting Justin Timberlake to the Marine Corps Ball, because that was all the rage back then. And a few days later he accepted, though he seemed like he might try and back out by adding, “If my schedule works out.”

But he didn’t. The ball was Saturday night in Richmond, Virginia, and true to his word, he went. And not only that but yesterday he wrote a long and seemingly sincere entry on his website calling it an “honor and privilege”.

“I felt so proud to be there. I felt like I was getting a chance to be among my heroes. It’s funny too because a lot of them are SO younger than me.
The evening wound down for me as, I had to catch a plane. But, I have to say that I had so much fun with Kelsey and her crew of friends. They were just really nice people… Classy Marines but, not without a great sense of humor. Real individuals but, not without a sense of community.”

Well… fuck. Justin Timberlake is a spoiled little dick, and I really like calling him that. But this was astoundingly cool of him. It ruins everything. I feel like he did this just to spite me.

(image source = pacific coast)

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Tags: justin timberlake |

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11.04.2011 Drew Barrymore is the most overpaid actor

No one went to see Justin Timberlake try to make serious faces in the movie ‘In Time’ over the weekend, and I can’t even begin to tell you how happy that made me. Was that really a surprise? That guy is a dick, and he can’t act for shit, and I have no idea why any producer thought he could ever carry a movie.

Anyway. Speaking of actors no one actually likes, Forbes has a list out today of the 10 most overpaid actors. They went back three years and found out how much their movies made, then divided that number by how much the star was paid. I have no idea why they did this. I guess just to be bitchy. But here’s the list. It’ll make more sense in a minute.

1. Drew Barrymore - $0.40
2. Eddie Murphy - $2.70
3. Will Ferrell - $3.50
4. Reese Witherspoon - $3.55
5. Denzel Washington - $4.25
6. Nicolas Cage - $4.40
7. Adam Sandler - $5.20
8. Vince Vaughn - $5.20
9. Tom Cruise - $6.35
10. Nicole Kidman - $6.70

So for every dollar Tom Cruise was paid, his movies made $6.35 in return. Drew Barrymore however, only brought in 40 cents for every dollar she was paid. Which is a polite way of saying that she lost 60 cents for every dollar you gave her. Though I question any list without Jennifer Aniston on it. The only movie I’d ever watch her in is if she god kidnapped by Al Queda.

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Tags: drew barrymore, justin timberlake |

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07.18.2011 Monday headlines, with magic heroes and bikinis!

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, PART 2 - basically broke every major box office record there is this weekend, including ‘first midnight showing’ ($43.5M), ‘opening day’ ($92.1M), ‘weekend: domestic’ ($168.5M), ‘weekend: worldwide’ ($475.5M), and ‘most malleable fanbase’. (mojo)

CASH CAB - is that game show where a taxi driver asks real customers trivia questions during their ride, and a producer for the Canadian version hit and killed a guy with the Cash Cab in Vancouver this weekend. Will he stick with one, or try and hit someone else and double his money? Find out after this break! (fox)

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE - has accepted the youtube invitation to the Marine Corps Ball with Cpl. Kelsey de Santis. Or at least he’ll go, “If my schedule works out.” And she’ll go if she hasn’t been shot to death. Leave it to Timberlake to find a way to say yes yet still look like a pretentious jackass. (cnn)

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES - finally has it’s teaser trailer officially online, over on it’s facebook page. It’s still not available in 1080 full-screen like most other trailers though, because Warner Brothers seems to think this bullshit is cute. (facebook)

THE AVENGERS - doesn’t come out until next year, but it has a teaser trailer (maybe meant only for Comic-Con, which begins Wednesday night) that has leaked online. But don’t get too excited because this a bootleg, and it’s terrible. It’s like he hid the camera in a glass of chocolate milk. (youtube, megaupload)

LAURA CROFT - hosted a pool party at the Flamingo hotel in Vegas this weekend, and all I know about her is that she was the Playmate in July of 2008, her ass is terrific, and she has the laziest fake Playboy name ever. (wenn)

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Tags: bikini, harry potter, headlines, justin timberlake, laura croft, playboy, the avengers, the dark knight rises |

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07.13.2011 A Marine asked out Justin Timberlake too

As you probably remember, a Marine stationed in Afghanistan posted a video on youtube last Thursday asking Mila Kunis to the Marine Corps Ball, and over the weekend during an interview with Justin Timberlake, she accepted. When she asked Justin if he would go too, he said, “They don’t want me! They want you. You need to do it for your country.”

Well it turns out at least one Marine does want him.

Corporal Kelsey De Santis, currently the only female serving at the Martial Arts Center for Excellence at Marine Corps Base Quantico, has since posted her own v-vite directed at Timberlake:
“So Justin, you want to call out my girl Mila. Well, I’m going to call you out and ask you to come to the Marine Corp Ball with me on November 12 in Washington DC,” De Santis said.
Timberlake’s rep was not immediately available for comment.

I’m slightly disappointed it was a girl who asked him out. Because either Justin would refuse and look like a dick, or accept and go out with a guy, or some Marines were planning on giving him a nice beating. I liked every possible outcome.

And now, unrelated pictures of Jessica Jane Clement from Loaded magazine.