Friday morning headlines

By brendon August 13, 2010 @ 12:23 PM

RIHANNA – says there is no typo on her tat, as was reported yesterday. “Rebelle fleur translates to rebel flower, NOT rebellious flower, it’s 2 nouns so in that case fleur does not HAVE to be first!” So see. Her dumb tat works on a lot of different levels. (ok!)

JENNIFER LOPEZ – was too big a bitch for ‘American Idol’ to deal with, and now she’s tweeting pictures of her diamonds to… um, prove it, I guess.
NOTE TO SELF: go rob Jennifer Lopez. (huff post)

JULRI WATERS – is the Playboy model in the banner picture, and she’ll be in Sturgis today signing stuff (details). I know I mentioned this yesterday, but I could either post a picture of the girl who gets a perfect score in every category I use to rank girls, or Hilary Swank, who is still waiting for science to determine what sex she is. (direct link to the full size NSFW banner picture here. source = playboy)

HILARY SWANK – is in Hawaii with boyfriend John Campisi, just sort of hanging out by a sign in a bikini. If these two lovebirds have a wedding in their future, Hilary is sure to make a beautiful bride and/or groom. (pacific coast)

16 photos in gallery >

Tags: american idol, bikini, boobs, headlines, hilary swank, jennifer lopez, julri waters, naked, playboy, rihanna |

85 Comments

karissa shannon is patriotic

By brendon July 02, 2010 @ 2:38 PM

This Sunday of course is Americas birthday, when hopefully everyone will take a moment to appreciate how completely awesome we are. Not content to wait, Playmate Karissa Shannon took her unrepentant jingoism down to Malibu yesterday and showed off her hot ass (again, thankfully).

She’s no Julri Waters, but what Karissa lacks in cup size she makes up for by wrapping her tits in American pride. Hey Middle East, have fun dressing your women like Halloween ghosts and driving a donkey to your job inside some hellish pit of insane violence. No need to rethink that. You’ve clearly figured out the winning formula.

(source = pacific coast news)

23 photos in gallery >

Tags: julri waters, karissa shanon, playboy |

50 Comments

(update) Vienna Girardi of the Bachelor is doing Playboy

By brendon June 30, 2010 @ 4:18 PM

Just so we’re clear the girl pictured is not Vienna Girardi from ‘the Bachelor’. Vienna Girardi is this lunatic and she’s been in a million news articles this week for reasons I might know if I had read any of them.

I didn’t want her fuggin up my erotic website and this is about Playboy so instead this post has pictures of Playboy model Julri Waters, who is Asian, 5’3″ and a 32G. It’s like someone made a girl based on nothing but my sexy fantasies. She needs to contact me immediately so we can get married.

Anyway. Not that it maters anymore, but Star says…

Fresh off her split from The Bachelor’s Jake Pavelka, newly single Vienna Girardi is ready to show off her sexy body. So the 24-year-old former Hooters waitress is stripping down for Playboy!
“I am going to be on the cover of Playboy later this year,” Vienna tells Star.
“The Bachelor didn’t pay me a dime, and I ran through my savings living with Jake,” Vienna says of her decision to pose for Playboy — a deal she hopes will net her $250,000. ” I need the money. And I want to do something fun and happy for myself!”

Yeah, 250 sounds right. Go ahead and ask for that. And when Hef stops laughing, he’ll wave goodbye and say, “have fun riding your dolphin back to Fantasy Land jackass.” I don’t even know who this chick is and she’s at the peak of her fame, not to mention she’s ridiculous looking, so good luck at the bargaining table genius. If she’s ever in Playboy there better be a big red X over her and then a link to the sexy girls like Julri.

CRAZY BITCH UPDATE: Playboy says, “This is the first we’ve heard of Vienna Girardi appearing on the cover of Playboy. We are not in negotiations with her and have not made her an offer.”

(NSFW pics here. source = the greatest 9 dollars you’ll ever spend)

u-s-a, u-s-a, u-s-a!!!

By brendon June 24, 2010 @ 9:16 AM

Just a few hours after the United States won their World Cup match sending them to the round of 16, Playmate Karissa Shannon stepped outside to get her mail in a USA jacket and not much else. Because it was the most efficient way to make other countries and ugly girls feel bad about themselves simultaneously. Her sexy way of getting the mail went over much better than mine, which is when I go out in nothing but an open bathrobe while swigging from a plastic bottle of Old Crow.

(source = pacific coast)

11 photos in gallery >

Tags: ass, karissa shannon, naked, playboy |

29 Comments

kelly brook. in playboy.

By brendon June 03, 2010 @ 9:49 AM

Girls really don’t seem to understand how awesome tits are. Last week some naked pictures of Kelly Brook were re-published. And it was great. So that’s that, girls might think. We’ve seen her tits. Now we can move on, right?

Wrong. No. You shut your mouth, little girl. Now we need to see more. I could have 10,000 pictures of her tits and be fascinated by each and every one. But I don’t. This is a step in the right direction, however. The Daily Mail says…

The actress and glamour model has signed a half-a-million dollar deal to pose naked for (playboy) later this year.
The 30-year-old, who boasts a 34E cup size, will pose for arty and tasteful nude shots on a shoot in the Mediterranean later this month.

Kelly Brook is gorgeous, and she’s 34E. A small girl with huge tits. Those things are awesome individually, so combining them seems like pure fantasy. It would be like getting a blowjob while on vicodin while puppies licked my feet while Tracy Porter ran back his int to ice the Superbowl for the Saints while a spiderbite gave me Spiderman powers.

14 photos in gallery >

Tags: boobs, kelly brook, lingerie, playboy |

90 Comments

lindsay is so dumb it takes your breath away

By brendon May 20, 2010 @ 6:43 PM

Very obviously the reason Lindsay didn’t come back for her court date is because she didn’t feel like it. The flights weren’t full and no one stole her passport. Now Lindsays mom says she has a new passport, to replace the “stolen” one, which is fascinating because the French police say she never applied for one.

Actually I don’t think you even can get a new passport overseas. Maybe you can in a major country like France. Typically a US embassy will issue a temporary one if you can prove your identity (not a problem in this case), but Lindsay could have done that immediately, back when she claims she lost it. It takes a few hours. Honest to god if this bitch gets any dumber she’ll be declared legally dead.

(Note – ive had it with Lindsays fug ass, so instead heres over 54 pictures of my beloved diora baird, including her playboy stuff. its a diora baird party, and youre invited!)