Two Idiots Reference Babies To Shill Makeup

Ninety-percent of the time I'm able to write about the Jenndashian brothel without hearing any of the girls actually speak, but in order to supposedly hear Kylie Jenner and Beast spill the hot gos on their pregnancies, I sat through this video of the two makeup-smeared... read more

World Still Cares About Janet Jackson’s Nips As JT Secures SuperBowl Gig

Imagine an entire crowd of people kneeling at halftime to protest the injustices of 2004’s NFL nipplegate. If you’re late to the party #JusticeForJanet is the in-trend. read more

Ewan McGregor Leaves Wife of 22 Years, Offers Mary Elizabeth Winstead His Lightsaber

Being openly affectionate with other women that is not your wife in front of the camera is like the celebrity version of a bat signal telling your significant other things between us are really over. read more

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Bud Light Sales Rep Lady Gaga Tragic Lamborghini Entrance

Former pop star Lady Gaga still thinks her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but unfortunately for her, she apparently consumed whatever milkshake she had left. Hollywood's Willy Loman took time away from drinking Pepsi in her Airbnb after hitting up Starbucks to... read more

Matt Damon and George Clooney Tossed Softballs by Strahan

Damon and Clooney put on their stoic acting face and arranged an interview with Michael Strahan on Good Morning America. Strahan makes Larry King look like an Inquisition judge by comparison. read more

Gabrielle Union Rim Job Advocate

Equal opportunity anilingus is upon us and Gabrielle Union is leading the charge. Fearless when it comes to using her tongue to speak on sexually adventurous topics or french kissing the fart box, Union is about to become the face of a revolution. read more

Paris Jackson Sings Just Like Michael Jackson If You're Deaf

When I saw a bunch of headlines pop up announcing that Paris Jacksons sounded just like her totally biological father Michael Jackson while performing with totally biological cousin Austin Brown in West Hollywood over the weekend, I thought "Duh, why wouldn't she. They're... read more

Taylor Swift Inc. Naked Robot Thing

The brevity of Taylor Swift's relationships is finally making sense now that we know, thanks to her revealing new music video, that she, in fact, does not have a vagina. What we always suspected. Swift Inc.'s music video teaser posted to Instagram looks like an ad for a... read more

Jeff Goldblum Wants Whatever Holly Willoughby Is Willing To Offer, Wink Wink

You should automatically expect anyone constantly dressed as GQ’s man of the month to try his luck with chicks all the time. No heterosexual man alive wakes up and purposely puts on a turtle neck without wanting attention from the opposite sex. read more

Demi Lovato Praised For Being Seventeen-Year-Old Cokehead

Demi Lovato stars in a new YouTube documentary titled Simply Complicated, and it turns out that she spent a good portion of her youth being simply a raging drug addict. She even goes into depth about simply punching the shit out of a backup dancer during her Camp Rock 2... read more

No One Wants Denise Richards' House

A million dollar discount is nothing to laugh at and it’s a better price drop than you’ll find on any Groupon. Denise Richards already ducked the HIV dilemma when she divorce Sheen, now she's desperate to sell her house. read more

Britney Spears Handicapable Tit Artist

Britney Spears delivers the only funny Saturday Night Live skit I've seen in ten years in a new Instagram video demonstrating her surprising comedic chops. Or, she's proving that she's thriving with a severe mental handicap and should be applauded for knowing how to open... read more