No not really. That would kick ass though, huh? But she did have lunch in Sherman Oaks this weekend with ex-boyfriend (and the father of her child) Gabriel Aubry, then went and hooked up with new boyfriend Olivier Martinez. Look at this guy. Look at his punk ass. Smiling. Moving a bunch of stuff into her house. That French fuck has a lot of nerve, comin in here and bangin our hot chicks. Maybe a visit from Dr. Fist will wipe that smirk off his face, after he prescribes a medicine called American Pride.
KIM KARDASHIAN – had a drink thrown on her in a bar in New York last night by the girlfriend of a guy who asked to take a picture with her. “That would be a good way to get free drinks,” thought Lindsay Lohan when she heard the news. (LA Times)
JOHNNY DEPP – surprised a little girl who wrote him a letter yesterday, and now there’s video. But it turns out he’s not as perfect as I thought he was. Turns out his parents divorced when he was 15. Probably because of something he did. Makes you wonder what else this sicko is hiding. (youtube)
READERS ON TWITTER – Walter wrote: “My friend recommended your site. Dont knwo why. Complete waste of my time.” Well why are you telling me? What am I, your biographer, I don’t give a fuck if you didn’t like it. (twitter)
Christy Carlson Romano is the girl who does the voice of Kim Possible on the Disney Channel cartoon, and before that she starred in ‘Even Stevens’, which was also on the Disney Channel, but after that she took off all her clothes for the new movie, ‘Mirrors 2’, and OHMYFUCKINGGOD was it great.
This girl is amazing. She looks like a 20-year-old Gina Gershon, but with a rock hard body. And she’s skinny with big tits. Which we can all see because she takes a shower. Naked. This would be a really good ad for shampoo.
(SEXY UPDATE – added more screencaps, bigger than the video, full size starts here)
“Might have”. There was no room for “might have” in the headline, it should have gone between “Demi Moore” and “cheated”, but the story is sexier if you ignore that part anyway. What matters is that the girl who Ashton Kutcher cheated with is saying that Ashton and Demi Moore have an open marriage, filled with three-ways and all kinds of crazy sex. Awesome, right?
Maybe not. I can’t go into details about who told me this, but…
“(Michael Phelps) was at a party with Demi, Ashton, Snoop and a couple of other celebrities. The 4 of them and a couple of other women ended up in a room where Ashton was getting a blowjob from one of these random women with Demi next to him getting finger banged by Phelps while Snoop was across the room smoking a blunt just watching everything happen.”
It’s a crazy story, but I was at a party one time and I got a blow job too, so everything adds up. I can also totally picture Ashton sitting there like an impotent jackass while Olympic hero Michael Phelps jammed those rolling pin sized fingers inside his wife. What a weirdo. I hope the next time Ashton went down on her she smelled like chlorine and he cried all night.
(if you missed it, the rest of the pictures from the headline are here)
Rosario Dawson is on the cover of this months German GQ, and Jessica Alba is on the British version, but here in America we got stuck with Ryan Reynolds. What the fuck is that all about? Isn’t GQ a British company? Why are they screwing us like this? Hey England, do you not remember us saving your ass a few years ago, in a little something called the Vietnam War? Learn your history and show some god damn respect!
Jessica Alba is the cover-girl for this months British GQ, and since the only way they can get popular actresses to pose for slutty pictures is by also talking to them, they interview her too.
When asked about her parents and conservative upbringing, Alba says, “I wasn’t even allowed to show my stomach in my house when I was growing up – my parents were very strict.”
Was she a fat kid? Because no one wants to look at a little fatty. At least that’s what my dad would write on my bathroom mirror, and say before closing the sauna door and locking me inside.
Gwyneth Paltrow, who is the daughter of Tony Award winning actress Blythe Danner and Emmy Award winning producer Bruce Paltrow, got her big break in 1990 when she was cast as Wendy Darling in ‘Hook’. Which was directed by Steven Spielberg. Who is Gwyneths godfather. They also spend every Thanksgiving together.
But over in Fantasyland (Population: 1), Gywneth tells Elle magazine she was nothing but a piece of meat in her early days as an actress, with pervert producers practically forcing her into prostitution.
Q. Have you ever had a casting-couch experience?
A. Yup. When I was just starting out, someone suggested that we finish a meeting in the bedroom. I left. I was pretty shocked. I could see how someone who didn’t know better might worry, “My career will be ruined if I don’t give this guy a blow job!”
Granted, this is what Paltrow looked like sort of naked back then, and I would have tried to make her blow me too, but when this bitch “was just starting out”, her parents best friend, who happens to be the biggest director in the world, just went ahead and put her in a massively popular movie. Don’t act like you had it hard, cunt. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with the casting couch. Unless you work at Sea World. Then it gets a little weird.
Johnny Depp is one of the few people in Hollywood that you never ever hear anything bad about in any way. He’s talented, he’s humble, he works hard, and he does things like tip waiters $4,000.
So what did Mr. Wonderful do this time? Oh nothing. Just showed up unannounced in a little girls classroom, in full character as Capt. Jack Sparrow, after she wrote him a letter asking for help staging a ‘mutiny’ against the teachers. The Daily Mail says…
The school was told just ten minutes before that Depp would be arriving and two blacked-out cars swept through the school gates.
An onlooker said she heard the most ‘incredible screams of joy’ as the actor, in full make-up, then entered the school.
In an interview on London Tonight after the visit, Beatrice revealed what she had written in the letter to the star – or rather his salty seadog alter ego.
She said: ‘Captain Jack Sparrow, At Meridian Primary School, we are a bunch of budding young pirates and we were having a bit of trouble mutiny-ing against the teachers, and we’d love if you could come and help.
‘Beatrice Delap, aged nine, a budding pirate.’
She said that she was then asked by the star to make herself known from the assembled pupils once he arrived, and gave her a cuddle.
Beatrice marvelled: ‘He gave me a hug and he said, “Maybe we shouldn’t mutiny today ‘cos there are police outside monitoring me.”‘
When his daughter was sick in 2007, with a rather serious blood disease after stepping on a rusty nail, Depp would go to the hospital as Sparrow, in full character then too, and read books to groups of kids for hours at a time. And after she recovered, he went back to the hospital, completely unannounced, and gave them 2 million dollars.
In other words, this guy is a real jerk. He needs to knock this shit off before every girl on earth starts thinking their boyfriend should be like Johnny Depp. I need a good Chris Brown story right now to balance things out. Maybe I don’t go read stories to sick children, but I didn’t punch a girl in the face 40 times either, so overall, if you look at the big picture, I think I’m still doin ok.