School Shootings Experiencing Gender Equality

In High school a girl's main focus is mostly boys, not guns and revenge. My guess is this was an attempt to get out of a test that she didn’t study for taken too far. read more

Farrah Abraham Fired Because She Sucks At Being Slutty

Unfortunately for the world of fap Farrah Abraham is completely withdrawing from the promiscuous life she once led. Maybe this will lead to her finding the much need morality that went missing after becoming America’s favorite MTV milf. read more

Time's Person Of The Year A Bunch Of "Silence Breakers" But Mostly Taylor Swift

The magazine that your great-grandparents got all of their breaking Dust Bowl news from, Time Magazine, has managed to stay relevant for yet another year by awarding its Person of the Year distinction to a bunch of women who have experienced sexual... read more

Creepy Russian Child Doll Named Most Beautiful Girl in the World

She has over half a million followers on Instagram; if Instagram could hand over DNA samples of its members, you could probably solve 90% of dead kid cases around the world from this one account. read more

John Mayer Not Quite Dead

America held its breath with the wide-scale hysterical news announcement that John Mayer was taken to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy. read more

Danny Masterson Shitcanned For Allegedly Being Rapey

2001-2002 seems to be a high point for Hollywood rape. If you believe in statistical modes, it's an eerily common time period for 2017 hindsight sexual assault allegations.  read more

Blind Date Bang-o-Rama and Shit Around the Web

Blind Date with a twist, busty bathrobe babes, and more! read more

Scarlett Johansson Dealing Well With Wife Demotion To Baby Momma

Scarlett Johansson is always teetering on the edge of permanently being old news. If it weren’t for her eccentric romantic antics she would be banished to the realm of no one cares never to return again.  read more

And The Meek Shall Inherent The Worth

There’s a number of things I would do for an opportunity to marry a woman with what is virtually considered an endless amount money. Divorcing my wife of eight years is easily on the top of that list. read more

Bryan Singer Fired, Suffers Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Kevin Spacey's real-life BFF and the worst chaperone ever, Bryan Singer, is famous for a lot of things - mainly allegedly drugging and defiling teen boys in the 90's - but now he's back in the news for being an entitled and as of yesterday jobless little bitch. Singer has... read more

Russell Simmons Removed From Businesses

Any man with millions of dollars giving advice from a downward-facing dog position is not to be trusted. Russell Simmons is an opportunist.  read more

The Simpsons Losing Apu Character To Social Justice

Too many people have too much time on their hands. Nitpicking at everything in the past and incessantly searching for something to be offended by.  read more