Enes Kanter Might Be Honor Killed Soonish

Enes Kanter has bigger troubles than the NBA's most pederastic mustache. In case you weren't aware of shit going down in Kanter's home country of Turkey, the crazy ass fundamentalist Muslims are battling the moderate Muslims who like funny YouTube videos and chicks in skirts for control of the country. Enes Kanter prefers the latter, because he's been in the NBA long enough to understand the benefits of premium cable...

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Miranda Kerr Bikini Goodness And Shit Around The Web

Miranda Kerr angrily quit Victoria's Secret and people told her she'd never work again. Close. Don't bite the hand that feeds you when that hand runs the bulk of the sweatshops in Southeast Asia.

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Heidi Klum Milking The Shit Out of Her New Lingerie Line

There's something truly admirable about Heidi Klum. It's likely her tiny tits. The German balloon parade never came to her town. Heidi Klum rose from the depths of being a hot teenaged chick every dude in Cologne wanted to wurst-bang to an iconic Western star who controls a vast business empire. She's Melania Trump but with a real job and less wrinkly dick inside of her night

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Lady Gaga Back on the Market

Taylor Kinney and Lady Gaga broke off their engagement after Kinney realized how much he looked like Leonardo DiCaprio and noticed how his girlfriend didn't look like Leo's did. The couple had been together for five years. That's a lot of time to spend with a chick constantly trailed by troubled trannies and junior college cutters.

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Klay Thompson’s Ex-Girlfriend Still Figuring Things Out

This chick with the amazing ass broke up with Klay Thompson because he was cheating on her. That's a technical impossibility if you have any adult level sense of how the world works. Or you've ever watched Animal Planet while high.

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Angelique Morgan Bikini Yogurt Feeding Time

This is what came to mind during speeches about border protection. How did this French chick get in here and what if she had been Syrian? We're clearly not vetting. There's a job in Hollywood called splashing yogurt on your tits but there's no lack of Americans angling for this same position.

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Melania Trump Perfect Titties Not Plagiarized

Because people are blindly partisan these days, the vast majority of comments on Melania Trump's keynote speech to the Republican National Convention were either about how she was a horrible dumb cunt who ripped off Michelle Obama's 2008 convention speech or how she's a master of five languages and a self-made woman. A politically correct culture couldn't accept the fact that she was neither. As if dutiful wife...

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Aaron Carter's Website Held Hostage

Aaron Carter is the brother of former Backstreet Boys lip syncher Nick Carter. They're both Florida swamp trash and share the common bond of being molested by their record producer.

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Dani Mathers Sauna Shame and Victoria Beckham Child Abuse Nobody Cares About on The Last Men on Earth Podcast (#52)

On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we discuss Amy Schumer suddenly remembering she's in the I've-been-raped club, Victoria Beckham shamelessly posting make-out session photos with her little daughter, Dani Mathers mean girls redux in the ladies locker room, why you must love Ghostbusters blindly to support women, and the validity of Jennifer Aniston's poor little rich girl rant. But, there, I guess I kind of gave...

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GOP Convention Protests Start Off Esoteric and Nude (VIDEO)

Unattractive nude people photographer Spencer Tunick jetted back from posing a thousand naked fat British people in aquamarine body paint for his latest art installation: 100 naked women holding up reflective mirrors across the river from the GOP convention. There's a Facebook video covering the entire process.

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Khloe Kardashian Calls Out Chloe Moretz's Asshole

Lost in the fact that Taylor Swift has been proven to be an opportunistic liar is that the whole ordeal is actually making the dead eyed Kardashian family seem likable. In short, Swift agreed to let Kanye West write a mutually beneficial rap lyric about her and proceeded to lie and say she didn't. This irked Kim Kardashian because even loose assed whores have morals.

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Jessica Alba Bikini Perfection And Shit Around The Web

Billion dollar IPOs and all-natural product fraud cases come and go, what lingers in life is your ability to give tons of men raging boners. At least until forty. Jessica Alba knows precisely how to hedge her bets.

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Pakistani Kim Kardashian Killed By Brother

This woman was the 'Kim Kardashian of Pakistan' which is ironic since the real Kim Kardashian would be burned alive at the border. Her brother strangled her to death out of embarrassment and also Sharia Law. Same thing. Get Christians poor enough and they'll start beheading people too.

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Leonardo Dicaprio And Nina Agdal Approaching Sex on the Beach

Leonardo DiCaprio plows through more tier one model trim than any of his industry peers. Completely unashamed. Core training is for suckers. Fucking models half your age while maintaining a beer belly is all seven of the world's highest mountains. Fly your private jet to an green house gas emissions conference. You're literally untouchable.

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Rocky Barnes in A Bikini

Somebody invented Swim Week in Miami for when the scent of Cuban armpit is especially strong. It's a time in mid-July for thousands of women designing nearly identical bikinis all stitched in the same garment factory in The Killing Fields to hire out tons of hot bodied Florida Junior college chicks.

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