Pretty much the first thing Seal did after it was announced that he and Heidi Klum were getting a divorce was go on the Ellen DeGeneres show (with his wedding ring still on) and sing ‘Let’s Stay Together’.
Then there was talk that maybe Klum didn’t really want a divorce but she had to do something drastic to convince him to go to counseling for his temper, and then last night she was out with her wedding ring on too.
So what the hell? Are they separating or not? If I had anything better to do with my time and this nonsense was keeping me from it, I would be outraged.
The good news is that Vanessa Hudgens was back on the beach in Hawaii today, when all of a sudden my telepathy kicked in and her bikini top fell off.
The bad news is that this bitch has cat-like reflexes, and covered herself before we could see anything. Trust me. I looked. I looked and I looked and I looked some more. The only way you’re gonna see her naked today is to photoshop her face onto some sluts body. And so that’s what I did. Porn star Kristina Rose works pretty well, just so you know.
(image source = pacific coast)
Amanda Seyfried was in West Hollywood last night filming some more scenes for the biopic about 70’s porn-star Linda Lovelace, and I’m not really an Amanda Seyfried fan, but I am a huge fan of porn and stories about how to trick girls into deviant sex, so I feel like me and this movie can meet each other half-way.
(image source = splash and wenn)
Irina Shayk is on the cover of the new edition of Esquire UK, and maybe if the American version were more like this people would read that piece of shit. It doesn’t even look like there’s an interview. They just told her to take her clothes off and hump things. That’s how it should be. I just want to stare at a hot girl, I’m not her fucking biographer.
All these bitches be screaming that 2pac back, according to Rihannas twitter last night, but actually it was just her after getting “THUG LIFE” tatted on her knuckles. Just like Pac had on his stomach. Except hers is pink. So it’s not very thug, but it would make for a fascinating hand job.
In the wake of Mark Wahlberg letting us know that 9/11 wouldn’t have went down like it did if he had been there, some readers on Sherdog created this thread to document all the others times when things wouldn’t have went down like they did. Mark Wahlberg would have saved us all! Or at least his kids and the rest of the first class cabin. He really is one of histories greatest heroes when you think about it (as long as you’re Mark Wahlberg).
(thanks to the dashing and handsome Alex for the link)
Brandi Glanville is mainly famous because Eddie Cibrian is an idiot and divorced her to marry the magic luck dragon, but now she’s the star of ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’, and during their wrap-up show last night she admitted that she and Gerard Butler did it.
…the 39-year-old reality star said that Butler was the most famous person she’s ever hooked up with.
“[We had] a little week of fun,” she said.
When asked to rate Butler as a lover on a “scale of one to ten,” she said: “11!”
By “a week” she better mean a week straight, because Brandi Glanville is fantastic looking, the perfect MILF. She’s pretty and really thin with long hair and she dresses trampy. If any other hot girl out there has been considering getting skinny as a greyhound with C-cups and an ass like this, please, by all means go for it.
Did you ever watch season 14 of ‘the Bachelor’ and wonder what winner Vienna Girardi would look like in a bikini?
That was a trick question of course, because watching ‘the Bachelor’ and wanting to see girls in a bikini are mutually exclusive. Nonetheless, she was in Miami yesterday wearing one, so enjoy these pictures, Person Who Doesn’t Exist.
(image source = pacific coast)
19-year-old Miley Cyrus got drunk as hell at a birthday party for her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth, which for some reason had a cake shaped like a black cock. Which Miley then rimmed (quite enthusiastically by the way, as if she’s done this before) before making out with Liam. Which makes him some kind of pastry cuckold, I guess. To be honest there’s not a single thing about any of this that makes an ounce of sense.
(source = TMZ)
Fox cites a few sources today in suggesting that Khloe Kardashians real father is a man named Alex Roldan, who has been Kris Jenners hairdresser for over 30 years.
Now, this would imply that a hairdresser with a salon in West Hollywood had sex with a woman, which seems unlikely, but he is over 6 feet tall, which might account for Khloes height, and her middle name is Alexandria, but more than anything there’s a clip of him in this absolutely unbearable video that Kris Jenner made when she was 30 (yes she’s been an attention whore for that long). Just look at this .gif of it, because HOLY FUCK YES. That’s absolutely her father.
He looks exactly like her. Fuck, he looks so much like her it makes me wonder if Kris is even Khloes mom. Was there even a mom? It’s looks more like the dude just cloned himself. Maxi-Me.
George Clooney, Stacy Keibler, Brad Pitt, and Angelina Jolie all shared a private jet to the Palm Springs Film Festival, and Us magazine makes it perfectly clear that Angelina hated Stacy for every second of it.
“Angelina refused to acknowledge that Stacy was even on the plane … (She) went out of her way to ignore her, from takeoff to landing. She would not even look Stacy’s way. She was not having it!”
MEE-OW!!! Except that it isn’t true, according to Stacy Keibler.
“That (story) is completely false. She has been nothing but great and nice to me. That’s 100 percent false… I’ve hung out with them a couple of times and they’ve been nothing but nice.”
If there was any tension on that plane it was probably because Brad and George were both waiting for someone to suggest an orgy, or at least that they switch partners. Jokingly at first, just to break the ice, but then, you know, maybe not jokingly.
I’m as amazed as anyone but ‘New Girl’ is genuinely funny, the best new comedy since ‘Community’, thanks in large part to it’s perfect casting (namely Jake Johnson and Max Greenfield, and now they’ve added the great Lizzy Caplan). But the star of the show of course is Zooey Deschanel, seen here with a purse shaped like a bunny. It seems she and Jennifer Garner have a little theme going. That theme being: “women buy stupid shit”.
(image source = bauer griffin)
