By Jack February 10, 2014 @ 7:12 PM
Dennis Rodman went on quite a big bender in North Korea. How big? Shit, piss, and puke all over your hotel kind of big. Rodman was in North Korea putting on an exhibition game and figuring out ways to betray his country through sheer stupidity. After he did an angry U.S. TV interviews that seemed to defend the maniacal practices of Great Leader Jr., Rodman saved face by declaring himself an alcoholic and checked into rehab. Everyone thought he was playing the sad addict card, but according to The South Korean news story, he hit bottom pretty gooey:
“[Dennis Rodman] was drunk the whole week of his stay. And the night before he left for the U.S., he was drunk, unconscious, and vomiting everywhere he turned. He even urinated and emptied the bowels in the hallway.”
You have to feel sorry for the indentured servant forced to clean up the kimchee clogged colon droppings of a large man like Rodman. Maybe Rodman isn’t a traitor after all, Perhaps he allowed the NSA to secrete several micro intelligence gathering devices in his gastrointestinal tubes that are now spread throughout the North Korean countryside collecting data. Maybe one day there will be a statue of Rodman secretly built, crated, and hidden away in that Raiders warehouse with the ark. Or maybe one day he’ll just be found dead and diseased in a gutter. If I were a betting man, I’d go with door number two.
By Jack January 20, 2014 @ 1:21 PM
Traitorous dick and former drag queen Dennis Rodman checked himself into rehab after returning from his latest stay in North Korea. We told you about this dumb fuck’s repeated trips to meet with BFF Kim Jong-Un, a brutal dictator who just recently fed his uncle and his circle of friends to a bunch of wild dogs. Apparently, Rodman went on quite the bender while visiting his favorite evil despot. It’s no surprise as the Kim family is known to drink more Courvoisier than a 70′s pimp. Rodman checked into a 30 day facility to get clean. Rodman was universally criticized for his defense of the tubby little Korean tyrant. But why all of a sudden was he drinking so much? His agent says,
“The pressure that was put on him to be a combination ‘super human’ political figure and ‘fixer’ got the better of him.”
What in the name of St. Fuckety Fuck does that mean? Who asked this pituitary case to be the world’s most retarded diplomat in the first place? He should just stick to being a broke ex-athlete and avoid child support and the law the way God intended. It’s so convenient for him to go to rehab now so he can claim that it was the booze that was making him betray his country and suck a dictator’s pencil dick. My only regret is that he didn’t the Uncle treatment from Kim, just to teach a lesson to other drunk assholes who want attention that they need to be on reality TV shows, not meeting with our enemies.
By Lex January 09, 2014 @ 7:41 PM
Who will weep for Dennis Rodman when he’s finally fed to the hunting dogs in North Korea? Well, maybe weep for the poor hounds who get his rank meat after a couple weeks of starvation. The lost and wandering soul with the disturbing nose ring made his way to North Korean once more to shill for the latest Great Leader of North Korea. Maybe Kim Jong Un is helping Rodman pay out on his outstanding child support liens or something. It’s hard to imagine he’s being a traitorous dickbag for something other than money. His latest trip included singing Happy Birthday to Kim Jong Un at a basketball exhibition. He also got liquored up and went on CNN to defend North Korea’s imprisonment of American journalist Kenneth Bae for talking about how awesome Jesus is while in-country. Kenneth Bae’s family accepted Rodman’s apology the next day but noted that being drunk was not actually a good excuse for being a jackass who consorts with the enemy. I doubt we’d let Junior Jihadists in America use that excuse when we bust them building bombs in their Newark adjacent apartments. Fuck, man, I was drunk. I wasn’t really going to blow up kids. Allahu Akhbar, God Bless America. Rodman ought to be arrested if for no other reason than introducing basketball to a nation where the men run about 5’7″ in their tattered stockings. They already have no food, now impossible NBA dreams.
Photo Credit: WENN
By Jack December 20, 2013 @ 3:29 PM
Broke-ass traitor Dennis Rodman is back in North Korea today ahead of an exhibition game in January. The former basketball player and least attractive drag queen ever is putting the game together in honor of North Korea’s ruthless boy dictator Kim Jong Un. You’ll recall that Rodman has visited the brutal police state before and is now BFF’s with lil’ Kim, (the tyrant not the fat rapper). He tried to explain himself and only made himself look like an even bigger moron:
“You know, they’re still afraid to come here, but I’m just telling them, you know, don’t be afraid man, it’s all love, it’s all love here. I understand what’s going on with the political stuff, and I say, I don’t go into that venture, I’m just doing one thing for these kids here, and for this country, and for my country, and for the world pretty much.”
Yeah, if you consider starving your people to death while you drink Courvoisier and get your knob polished love, then yes, it all about love. Though most sane people in the world would say that you are just a stooge for one of the most dangerous regimes on the planet. I don’t give a fuck who this asshole is or how big a star he was in the 90′s. Dennis Rodman is consorting with self-declared enemies of this nation. That used to mean prison. It should once again. If we’d caught him playing b-ball with Bin Laden, Seal Team Six would’ve shot him dead and asked him questions he couldn’t answer later.
By Lex July 25, 2013 @ 12:26 PM
Dennis Rodman is a real character. He’ll visit North Korea to meet with Kim Jong-Il. He gets Dennis Rodman wacky at the Mercedes-Benz fashion show in Miami. He probably holds several Pachinko records at Osaka area arcades. He’s a real bon vivant, if that terms means dude who travels around the world skipping out on his debts and court ordered child support. He so crazy.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Jack May 10, 2013 @ 3:05 PM
Retired basketball player and all around toolbag Dennis Rodman has decided it’s time for him to do what no other American diplomat could do: arrange the release of American Kenneth Bae from North Korea. You’ll recall that Rodman visited North Korea recently and became BFFs with its insane leader Kim-Jong Un. Rodman is sure that he can do a better job than the president in freeing Bae.
“I’m gonna try and get the guy out, It’s gonna be difficult. We got a black president who can’t even go talk to [Jong-un …Obama can’t do shit, I don’t know why he won’t go talk to him.”
I’m not sure what Obama being Black has to do with anything. Does Rodman think that he can fool Un into thinking that he’s the president? North Korea is nuclear powder keg ruled by a family of lunatics. They violently oppress their people and starve them while living it up like emperors with stupid hair cuts. But Rodman defends Un and says he’s not such a bad guy. If there’s any justice, they’ll let Bae go and imprison Rodman or let the starving masses eat him and one of his stupid hats for dessert.