Us magazine says that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are using strict Scientology guidelines to raise their daughter Suri, and that dictates everything from the way she was nursed to the way she's disciplined and even what friends she's allowed to have. Us magazine says:
Suri — who as a baby was breastfed and nursed on a mixture of barley water, milk and corn syrup which Hubbard advocated as being healthier than formula and breast milk — is too young to take classes at the Scientology Centre, the 18-month-old is constantly surrounded by believers, including her two nannies.
“Tom doesn’t like associating with people who aren’t Scientologists,” says an insider.
Additionally, Holmes, 28, and Cruise, 45, have a hard time saying no to Suri. But it’s not simply because they’re pushovers.
Cruise and Holmes, says their pal, are very lenient and do not like to give Suri too many rules: “Suri pretty much does whatever she wants, whenever she wants. If she fusses before bed, they let her stay up later. If they want her to go swimming and she cries, they’ll take her out. If she whines about food, they’ll ask her what else she wants to eat. They always want to please her.”
It's amazing they even allowed barley and milk into her formula. I thought it would just be some bright red liquid with fog coming off the top. And the nanny is a guy in a 1950's robot costume, with the big silver barrel chest and clamps for hands and a red light bulb for a nose. That's how you raise kids god dammit. Nice and crazy.
If Orlando Bloom is dating Jessica Simpson, it's news to Orlando Bloom, who was seen last night trying to cool things down with a dude whose girlfriend Orlando was hitting on. I think. It's a little confusing. At one point it's hard to tell if they're about to fight or make out. I think the other dude is in love. Nothing happens and the video is boring, but the girl is super hot, so, awesome, right?
KATIE HOLMES WANTS TO RUN A MARATHON - OK! says, "Katie Holmes has often been spotted enjoying an early morning jog around the European metropolis. And OK! has learned exclusively that she's not just doing it to keep her figure fit for Tom — She's fulfilling her dream to run in the New York Marathon." I can't help but think of that Julia Roberts movie where she learned to swim so she could fake her own death and get out of her loveless marriage. Katie is makin' a break for it. If she starts to learn Spanish Tom better lock that bitch up.
BRITNEY EXCELS AT FAIL - People says they have the exclusive first look at the Britney Spears cover for her new album, called "Blackout", which sounds like an interacial porn. The cover is even worse. It looks like something a retarded 6 year old would make as a birthday card for her cat.
Star magazine, via Celebitchy, says that Tom Cruise is planning to build a … wait for it … wait for it … a 10 million dollar underground bunker in Colorado to prepare for the arrival of Xenu, his alien god who is at the heart of scientology. Star says:
Devout Scientologist Tom Cruise plans to build a $10 million bunker under his Telluride, Colorado, mansion, a source tells Star! Equipped with a high tech air-purifying system, “it’s a self-contained underground system where up to 10 people can survive for years.” Apparently, Scientologists believe that the evil deposed galactic ruler Xenu is set to attack Earth, and they’ll need a safe place to survive.
I'm pretty sure that when someone is this dumb, they can be declared legally dead. So, it's with great sadness that I report the passing of Tom Cruise: Actor, Father, Beloved Husband. The End.
Star Magazine, via Celebitchy, says that the two adopted children of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman have spent the summer at a camp outside Portland, a camp that critics say is designed to take kids while they're young and indoctrinate them into Scientology. Star says:
As Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and their 15-month-old cutie Suri were snapped romping around Berlin in between his filming the World War II drama, Valkyrie, noticeably absent from these family outings were daughter Isabella, 14, and son Connor, 12. Nor were the two with mom Nicole Kidman, who is currently in Australia filming her own WWII epic. So where have the Cruise kids been all summer? Star has learned that the youngsters are in Oregon, at a camp 60 miles south of Portland run by the Church of Scientology! “The summer camp is part of the Scientology’s ‘get them while they’re young’ campaign,” a source who attended the camp tells Star. “While they will be enjoying horseback riding, swimming and all kinds of fun activities, some of their day is devoted to Scientology coursework.”
And by golly that's what camp is all about. It's all about e-meters and thetans and chanting to some comically misinformed counselors about a religion based on 76 million year old aliens trapped on Earth in Volcano prisons. About a religion that is totally real, and not a sham at all. Theologically speaking, you might as well pray to a shoe, or the Great Pumpkin, but that's hardly the point.
Eleven extras were injured after falling off a truck on the set of Tom Cruise's latest movie, "Valkyrie". The movie, directed by Bryan Singer, was filming in Germany when the side of a military troop transport truck burst open as it drove around a corner. The BBC says:
One man was seriously injured … The other 10 of were treated in hospital but later released. Police said there were "no findings to suggest anyone famous was involved".
The truck, which was made to look like a Wehrmacht military vehicle, is now being inspected for technical defects as part of a police investigation.
Valkyrie has faced criticism in Germany, where crew were banned from filming at the former staff quarters where Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, who led the plot (to kill Hitler), was executed.
Well this is the first time I've ever heard of an extra getting hurt during the filming of a Bryan Singer movie. Normally those dudes are hurt when they audition for Bryan Singer. Hurt on the inside. Emotionally. Or maybe because their anus is too tight. Just relax baby, this will all be over in a few minutes, and then you'll be a big star. You do want to be a big star, don't you?
IGN says that J.J. Abrams has asked Tom Cruise to play Captain Christopher Pike in the upcoming movie version of "Star Trek". Pike was James T. Kirk's predecessor and captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise in the original and unaired Star Trek TV pilot. The role would be little more than a cameo. IGN says:
Cruise's name first surfaced last fall as a possibility for a role in Trek, but Cruise spokesman Arnold Robinson said, "That story is not true." There was still bad blood between Cruise and Trek studio Paramount at that time, but in recent months Sumner Redstone, the Viacom honcho who ousted Cruise, has softened his rhetoric, leaving the door open for reconciliation. A Cruise cameo in Trek, however, would be a favor to Abrams and not to Paramount.
While I appreciate JJ Abrams absolute faith in my Star Trek knowledge, it's possible he's overestimating the average movie goers enthusiasm for Star Trek trivia. Besides you're asking for trouble to put Tom Cruise's scientology lovin ass on a spaceship. You'll yell action, he'll see some lasers, think it's the rapture and start killing everyone.
